UPJOKE
neurotichypochondriacalpsychoneuroticdsm-5curmudgeonegotisthedonistdilettantegrouchysociopathnymphomaniacnarcissistgrumpnebbishyworrywart

Why is it no fun to tell a hypochondriac a joke?

Because they think they got it, but they don’t got it.

Which disease hypochondriacs are sure that they don't have?

Hypochondria

Will people please stop calling me a hypochondriac!?

I'm sick of it.

The doctor said I'm a hypochondriac

But I'd like a 15th opinion.

Guy I think I'm a hypochondriac

I've done the research and I'm showing symptoms...

A hypochondriac goes to his doctor

Hypochondriac: Doctor, I have no idea what’s wrong with me but I’m in pain everywhere on my body. My stomach hurts. My bones and joints hurt. I’m always nauseous. I always have a splitting headache. I’ve come to you for years and you keep telling me there’s nothing wrong but I FEEL like there is som...

I'm a hypochondriac...

Well, self-diagnosed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey Doc, what do you call a constipated hypochondriac?

I don't know, but I bet they're just full of shit.

At Hypochondriacs Anonymous....

The first step is admitting you don't have a problem.

A hypochondriac’s fear

I don’t think I’m a hypochondriac but I worry a lot that I might be.

How does an Introverted hypochondriac feel during the Corona virus outbreak?

Validated.

My grandfather works with a couple of hypochondriacs

Sometimes he will make up a fake illness to see how long it takes them to catch it.

Engraved on a hypochondriac's tombstone...

See, I told you I was sick.

They found the biggest hypochondriac yet…

… he overdosed on placebos.

I recently found out I’m a hypochondriac ...

Which totally sucks because I hear that puts me at risk for a TON of other serious diseases

I used to think I was a hypochondriac...

Till my shrink told me it was all in my head.

Why don't hypochondriacs...

Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters?

They're afraid of catching fire!

I read the symptoms for being a hypochondriac...

AND I HAVE ALMOST ALL OF THEM!!!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard of the hypochondriac who had issues with his bowels?

He was always full of shit

Why do hypochondriacs make for good chemical catalysts?

They overreact to all external stimuli!

My doctor told me I’m a hypochondriac and a compulsive liar.

I’m not too worried about it.

What do you call a hypochondriac dinosaur?

Tri-serepax.

Why is it so easy to trust a hypochondriac?

Because none of their plans are ill-conceived.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey mouse has a cousin who kisses everyone:

Hickey mouse.

Mickey mouse has a cousin who is a special teams player for the Miami Dolphins:
Kickey Mouse.

Mickey mouse has a cousin who loves performing cunnilingus:
Lickey Mouse.

Mickey mouse has a cousin who is very particular:
Pickey Mouse.

Mickey mouse has ...

Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news....

The good news is that we've definitely proven you're not a hypochondriac.

I have ADHD and I always think I’m sick.

My doctors call me the Hyper Hypochondriac.

Yeah, I'm starting to agree

with my doctor calling me a hypochondriac.
Still a bit skeptical its a misdiagnosis though.

And even more skeptical now because when I came home, hoping to relax with a hot shower, it suddenly dawned on me... I'm no hypochondriac! I'm schizophrenic! And I'm sure of it because everyone che...

I think I will have to go to the doctor soon.

My father is a hypochondriac and I think it's hereditary. I'm starting to see the symptoms.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Psychology Definitions....

* A psychologist is a person who tells you what everybody knows in a language nobody can understand.
* The superego is that part of the personality soluble in alcohol, or the superego is that small inner voice that warns us that someone may be looking.
* A neurotic is a person who has di...

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