Pedant Jokes

From a well, actually.

Doctor says “you have fewer than 5 days to live”
The pedant replies, “actually in this case it would be ‘less’”
Doctor says “alright, 4 days then”

A grammarian fell into a sewer. Someone came and said, “Need help?”

The grammarian was offended at his language. “You would have made sense if you had said, ‘Do you need any help?’” he rebuked.

A second man came and spoke as the first. Again, the pedant was offended and said, “You wou... read more

One is generally hung from the ceiling and the other is a lighting fixture.

That means overly concerned with details and liking to show off one's knowledge

I told her, "I think you mean fewer".

So I’ve started drinking.

She told me, “Alcohol isn’t a solution.”

“Actually,” I replied “it’s excellent at dissolving many substances.”

I'd have £564.72

Well, 46.8%.

"Third most, actually."

Three professors of logic get on a train in Scotland and take a seat. They look out the window and see a black sheep. One of them says: "I didn't know Scotland had black sheep". The second one says, rather pedantically, "You only know Scotland has at least one black sheep." The third one chimes in, ... read more

and I got "pedantic", which is an adjective.

Now it goes pedant pedant....

Pedantic