Iceberg Jokes - 63 Hilarious Iceberg Jokes

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic...

He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater...

A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg,...

When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes and the penguin asks "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?"...

Iceberg

A couple icebergs in Antarctica are best friends. They grew up together and have known each other since they were ice cubes.

One iceberg decides he's tired of all the cold weather, he tells his best friend he's going on a warm vacation for a couple weeks. A couple weeks pass by and he returns...

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I guy goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce sticking out of his .

The doctor, obviously disgusted, takes a look and says "ugh, that's nasty".
To which the man responds, " Nasty? Doc, that's just the tip of the iceberg"

If Trump were captain of the RMs Titanic

Captain Trump of the RMS Titanic:

There isn't any iceberg.
There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean.
The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg.
We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be ...

BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have discovered an amazing fact about icebergs...

More below.

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Each year I eagerly anticipate this day so I can share my favorite Dad Joke of all time:

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This wo...

What did the Titanic say to the iceberg?

"Okay, but just the tip."

After the iceberg collision, the captain of the Titanic gathers the crew and tells them "I have bad news and good news."

"The bad news is that our ship has began to sink.

The good news is that we shall win eleven Academy Awards."

Why do people think icebergs are tough?

Survivorship bias.

Why did the police officer shoot the iceberg lettuce?

Because it wouldn’t *Romaine* calm.

Why didn't the penguin jump off of the iceberg?

He got cold feet.

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A Korean man and a Jewish man are in a bar, total strangers to one another.

The Jewish man walks up to the Korean man and, totally unprompted, punches him in the face.

Naturally, the Korean man goes "What was that for?"

The Jewish man responds, "That was for Pearl Harbor."

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese," says the Korean man.

"Ah, Korean,...

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A Chinese man and a Jewish man are in an elevator..

..As they ascend floors, the Jewish man turns to the Chinese man and blurts out "You know what.. I don't like Chinese people too much." Taken back, the Chinese man asks him why. "Because you guys were responsible for Pearl Harbor!" Shocked, the Chinese man responds "That was the Japanese.." The Jew ...

Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs?

Because only the top 1% can stay above water.

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My crack is like an iceberg...

90% of it is below see-level.

Right before colliding with an iceberg...

The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."

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On the night the titanic hit the iceberg...

there is a magic show. And the magician calls up a volunteer from the audience and asks him for his watch. He takes the watch, puts it in a bag and smashes it to pieces,

At that moment a Parrot in the audience calls out "It's in 'is pocket, it's in 'is pocket".

The magician looks at ...

What do you call a iceberg in a ghost sheet?

A polargeist

It's a little known fact that Elton John doesn't like iceberg lettuce

he's a rocket man.

An ocean liner is sailing in the North Atlantic and hits an iceberg.

As the ship is sinking, one crewman runs to the ship’s captain and tells him to open the root beer caskets in the ship’s hold.

The captain is confused but has no other options, so he orders all of the ship’s root beer caskets cut open. The root beer floods the hold and the ship slowly stops s...

A cargo ship struck an iceberg, tearing a gash in the side.

It was carrying bagged chips, so it didn't sink until it was unloaded.

An elementary teacher, middle manager, and lawyer die and go to heaven...

St. Peter meets them at the pearly gates and explains that to get in they each have to answer one question correctly.

The teacher goes first. St. Peter says "What was the name of the famous ship that sank after striking an iceberg in 1912?"

"The Titanic!"

"Right, off you go." T...

What do Einstein and an iceberg with a lisp have in common?

They both tried to think the unthinkable.

What did the iceberg say to the Titanic after if finally got outta the way?

Sank you

Did you hear about the Cop who arrested an innocent Iceberg because he thought it looked like the one that sunk the Titanic?

He was fired for Glacial Profiling.

When Titanic came out, I went to the premiere wearing a iceberg costume

Needless to say, it was a smash hit.

Why was there money left behind on the deck of Titanic after its fateful collision?

It was the tip of the iceberg.

i can’t imagine what the people of the titanic were thinking when they struck the iceberg

they probably had a sinking feeling if i had to guess

An iceberg caused the Titanic to sink..

Lettuce have a moment of silence.

Elton John was asked if he'd like an iceberg lettuce in his salad

he thought for a moment and replied "no thanks, I'm a rocket man"

That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce...

and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Ran out of toilet paper so had to start using lettuce leaves

today was the tip of the iceberg

'Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom.'

The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.

The man asks: 'Is it serious, doctor?' and the doctor replies: 'I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.'

I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we're stupid fools!?

I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.

I ran out of toilet paper

and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.

Fun Fact, in the country I was born we really used leaves as toilet paper

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An Asian man and a Jewish man walk into a bar

The Asian man goes: “Hi, my name is Joe Chan, what’s yours?”

The Jew replies: “Michael Goldberg... Hey you know, I never did forget you Koreans for Pearl Harbor.”

The Asian man, surprised, replies:
“Uhhh... Pearl Harbor was done by the Japanese, not Koreans, and I’m Chinese.”
...

I had a phobia of icebergs, so my psychiatrist said to try taking my phobia head on.

As Captain of the Titanic, there might've been some misinterpretation going on there...

Lettuce!

What lettuce do you eat at a swimming pool? >!Endives.!<

What lettuce do you find in the Arctic? >!Iceberg.!<

What lettuce do you eat in the Colosseum? >!Romaine.!<

What lettuce do people with curly hair eat? >!Frisée!<

Did you know in 1998 Titanic overtook Jurassic Park to become the highest grossing film of all time?

I guess the Titanic can’t survive an iceberg but it can beat a Spielberg.

A magician is on a cruise ship, accompanied by his pet parrot.

Every day, the magician holds a magic show for the patrons on the cruise. The parrot sits on his shoulder throughout the act.

Eventually, after days of viewing these acts, the parrot starts to get the tricks behind them all. So as the magician would carry on with his show, the parrot would ru...

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A Chinese man and a Jew are talking

The Jew says "I still haven't forgiven your people for attacking Pearl Harbor."

To which the Chinese man replies, "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese you idiot!"

The Jew says "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?"

Then the Chinese man says "You know, I haven't forgiven your...

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A man goes into the doctors with pain

A man goes into the doctors with pain

Man: Doctor my really hurts, I need help

Doctor: Can I take a look?

Man: Sure

Doctor: It seems you have a piece of lettuce stuck inside your

Man: That's just the tip of the iceberg

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I went to the doctor because I had a piece of lettuce stuck in my

The doctor gasped when they saw it.

I asked, “what’s wrong, Doc?”

They replied, “this isn’t just a piece of lettuce, it’s the tip of an iceberg.”

Captain Edward Smith's last meal included lettuce on his plate.

Specifically, It was an iceberg right in front of him.

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A guy is feeling horrible so he goes to the doctor...

During the exam the doctor is shocked, "Oh my god! No wonder you feel bad, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of your !"
The man says, "Yeah, and that's just the tip of the iceberg!"

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A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour...

All this panic buying has led me to using alternative methods for toilet paper...

Last week was tree leaves this week it's lettuce. And that's just the tip of the iceberg!

I'm not sure how much you know about the story of the Titanic...

...but what caused it to sink is just the tip of the iceberg.

They say that if enough Antarctic ice melts more and more viruses will emerge...

I guess that means COVID is only the tip of the iceberg!

A teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would ...

Anniversary dinner

A husband takes his wife out to dinner for their anniversary. They both order lobster and a salad.
After a few bites of her salad the wife started holding her mouth as if in pain. The husband asks whats wrong? She said "This salad is extremely cold!" The husband replied "Of course, it's made wi...

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A chinese pilot and a jew copilot are flying together for the first time

Since the start of the flight, there was a strange feeling between them, so the chinese guy asks:

Chinese: Do you have a problem with me?

Jew: I sure do, i will never trust you chinese people after what you did to Pearl Harbor.

C: but those were the Japanese, not the chinese....

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A Jewish guy walks into a bar. The Chinese bartender asks him his name...

"I'm Max Goldberg", he says, "what's yours?"
"I'm Wei Zhang, it's nice to meet you."

Mr. Goldberg says, "I'll never forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor."
"I'm Chinese. That was the Japanese."
"Chinese, Japanese, all the same to me."

Mr. Zhang says, "I'll never forgive ...

Quarantine has been hard. I've run out of toilet paper, and have to use lettuce leaves. It's only going to get worse, though...

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

Why will Titanic II be better than Titanic I?

Because there are no icebergs to crash into anymore.

I tried to play the Titanic game on my PC

But as soon as I hit the iceberg, it crashed

What was the biggest lesson learnt from the Titanic tragedy ?

Make icebergs smaller.

I suspect my local greengrocer is overcharging for veg.

He's only charged me full price for an undersized lettuce, but I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Magic Trick

A cruise ship hired a magician to entertain the passengers. Since the passengers changed every four or five days, the magician was able to perform the same tricks over and over.

Unfortunately, the Captain of the ship had a parrot who sat around and watched the magician perform his tricks, ov...

I watched the Titanic twice

I was convinced they weren’t dumb enough to hit the iceberg again

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I heard a Jew was responsible for the sinking of the Titanic

Some guy named Iceberg

So I went to see the Dr. he asks: “And what seems to be the problem?"

A little embarrassed, I replied “ Well I seem to have a small lettuce leaf growing out of my back passage Dr!"

At which point he instructed me to drop my trousers while he had a quick look.

“Mmmm . . . I’m afraid I’m going to have to call an ambulance and have you rushed into hospital...

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