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Steven Spielberg Jokes

Steven Spielberg walks into a barber

"I'll have the director's cut!"

Steven Spielberg died and went to Heaven.

"Thank goodness you made it to Heaven!" said St. Peter. "God is producing a movie and He wants you to direct it."

"Directing movies was what I did in my mortal life," said Spielberg. "This is my eternal life. I want my eternal life to be relaxing."

"I haven't told you about the film cr...

Did you know Steven Spielberg and John Williams play basketball together?

He shoots, he scores!

Steven Spielberg's Next Movie

Steven Spielberg decides that he wants to make a movie about famous composers. He puts out a casting call.

Tom Hulce walks in first and says, "I played Mozart in Amadeus, and would love to play him again."

Next, Gary Oldman calls. "I was Beethoven in Immortal Beloved, so I already have...

Steven Spielberg just announced he’s not doing anymore shark movies.

This is a real Jaw dropper

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour...

Steven Spielberg picks up a hooker

He drives her to the back of a parking lot so she can suck him off.

She gets done swallowing his load and had to ask-

I thought you Jewish guys were all circumcised??

He explained-

I have been circumcised..

This is the "Director's Cut!"

Steven Spielberg dies and goes to heaven.

He's greeted at the gates by Peter who informs him that God is a big fan of his work. He begins with a tour of the place and goes on to mention that if Steven needs anything to just say the word.

"We'll, I'd love to meet Stanley Kubrick," Steven admits.

"I'm sorry, but as you may know,...

Steven Spielberg is working on a movie about clocks which will be released summer 2020

It's about time.

Yo mama..

is so old that Steven Spielberg used her as a dinosaur consultant in Jurassic Park

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my favorite jew jokes.

3 Jewish mothers get together for lunch one day at a fancy restaurant on the upper east side in Manhattan. They haven't seen each other in years, so the conversation naturally, turns to their sons. The first one says, "My Moishe...he's the best doctor in all of New York. Celebrities see him. Michael...

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