I was going to make a Weinstein joke, but I decided against it

It's a touchy subject

Weinstein didn’t kill himself

Sorry just practicing

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher decides to let students out early if they can name the origin of a famous quote.

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Again, before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther ...

Harvey Weinstein has coronavirus

Must suck to have something invade your body against your will.

A lot of people in America are obese. However, many people from Harvey Weinstein's circle are in decent shape.

Because they spent so long running from the truth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Now that Harvey Weinstein's career in Hollywood is over, he should move to Houston.

Houston is used to getting fucked by Harvey.

Harvey Weinstein tests positive for coronavirus while in jail.

He probably thought 19 in COVID-19 meant age.

Harvey Weinstein tests positive for Coronavirus....

...And Herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhoea, crabs and papilloma virus.

I heard Harvey Weinstein caught the coronavirus

Not surprising, he wasn't exactly known for his social distancing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everybody is saying Harvey Weinstein is the worst person in history, but I think they're forgetting that Hitler is the worst person in history

I mean if he finished what he started, we wouldn't have to deal with Weinstein

What do Jared Fogel, Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?

Their favorite piece of classical music is Chopin’s Waltz in A minor.

What's the difference between "To Catch a Predator" and Harvey Weinstein?

One stars molesters, while the other molests stars.

Weinstein, C.K., Lauer...

I think this "Dicks out for Harambe" thing is getting out of hand.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Harvey Weinstein is so fat...

He's the only person in Hollywood that hasn't seen his dick.

He got #meethree'd

I hear Harvey Weinstein's call sheet has been blowing up lately.

Apparently the Republican Party wants him to run for President.

What do Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?

The House of Cards they had built in Hollywoodland has now made them The Usual Suspects in Sin City. This was supposed to be LA Confidential but apparently they couldnt find Consenting Adults. The American Beauty of this is that they will now forever be Inglorious Basterds.

What's the difference between a hooker and an actress?

I don't think that's a very good defense mr weinstein

How many Harvey Weinsteins does it take to change a lightbulb?

That light bulb will change itself right in front of him if she knows what's good for her.

What did Harvey Weinstein say to Woody Allen?

I'll give you two tens for a 20.

What do Hurricane Harvey and Harvey Weinstein have in common?

They are both massive bodies that devastated countless victims.

What is the difference between Hurricane Harvey and Harvey Weinstein?

Hurricane Harvey actually made its victims wet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the big ball of hydrogen and helium give Harvey Weinstein a blowjob?

Because he said he would make her a star!

Now that Harvey Weinstein's Hollywood career is over, he's decided to open a bank.

Word is that he's been giving out plenty of unwanted advances.

What's the difference between Harvey Weinstein and EA?

EA only sticks their hands in your pants if you have money in your pockets.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I really liked Harvey Weinstein’s speech about sexual misconduct

It was very touching

Hillary was asked if Weinstein's behavior compared to that of her husband's.

She said "Close, but no cigar."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Harvey Weinstein ejaculated in his potted plant so many times . . .

. . . It almost got cast as Will Hunting.

Donald Trump, Harvey Weinstein, and Ajit Pai walks into a bar ...

Later, a man walks up to the bottomless sinkhole, looks down, and asks “Why’s the bar so low?”

Bill Cosby, Anthony Weiner and Harvey Weinstein walk into a bar

Harvey says, "Hey Bill, buy me a drink!"
Bill shouts back, "I don't know what role you're trying to offer me, but let's not involve Weiner..."

Harvey Weinsteins weapon of choice?

The Rapier.

Harvey Weinstein was a driving instructor before becoming a film producer

He was teaching one of his first students, an attractive young girl, how to drive. He said,

‘lift your left leg off the clutch to start moving.’

A few minutes later, he said,

‘lift your right leg off the accelerator to let the car slow down.’

The girl asked him,
...

What's the difference between a catfish and Harvey Weinstein?

One's a scum-sucking bottom-dweller. The other's a fish.

What do Harvey Weinstein and Macy’s have in common?

Little boys pants, half off

Someone asked me if I could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would it be

Easy.

Harvey Weinstein. Dead.

The positive news of the day

Harvey Weinstein

Actress: I want to be in the Aladdin remake.

Harvey Weinstein: All you have to do is rub my lamp.

At what point during a Netflix and Chill should you start touching her?

Immediately after the Weinstein Company logo flashes across the screen

A girl goes to Ben Affleck...

A girl goes to Ben Affleck and says, "Ben, yesterday Harvey Weinstein started kissing me and feeling me up!"


Ben starts kissing her and feeling her up. "Like that?" He says.


"Yes" she answers.


"What else did he do?"


"He ripped off all my clothes!" she ...

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