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Weinstein Jokes

Weinstein didn’t kill himself

Sorry just practicing

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Now that Harvey Weinstein's career in Hollywood is over, he should move to Houston.

Houston is used to getting fucked by Harvey.

What's the difference between an actress and a hooker.

That's not a very good defence Mr Weinstein.

Harvey Weinstein has coronavirus

Must suck to have something invade your body against your will.

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A teacher decides to let students out early if they can name the origin of a famous quote.

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"





Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."





Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."





Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"





Aga...

What does Harvey Weinstein have in common with a broken arm? (NSFW)

They both are looking forward to getting their cast off.

Weinstein, C.K., Lauer...

I think this "Dicks out for Harambe" thing is getting out of hand.

Harvey Weinstein tests positive for Coronavirus....

...And Herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhoea, crabs and papilloma virus.

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Harvey Weinstein is so fat...

He's the only person in Hollywood that hasn't seen his dick.

He got #meethree'd

I heard Harvey Weinstein caught the coronavirus

Not surprising, he wasn't exactly known for his social distancing.

What's the difference between "To Catch a Predator" and Harvey Weinstein?

One stars molesters, while the other molests stars.

Harvey Weinstein tests positive for coronavirus while in jail.

He probably thought 19 in COVID-19 meant age.

What do Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?

The House of Cards they had built in Hollywoodland has now made them The Usual Suspects in Sin City. This was supposed to be LA Confidential but apparently they couldnt find Consenting Adults. The American Beauty of this is that they will now forever be Inglorious Basterds.

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Everybody is saying Harvey Weinstein is the worst person in history, but I think they're forgetting that Hitler is the worst person in history

I mean if he finished what he started, we wouldn't have to deal with Weinstein

Harvey Weinsteins weapon of choice?

The Rapier.

What do Jared Fogel, Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?

Their favorite piece of classical music is Chopin’s Waltz in A minor.

I hear Harvey Weinstein's call sheet has been blowing up lately.

Apparently the Republican Party wants him to run for President.

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Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein sat just watching T.V

Harvey asks "hey Kev, you wanna rent a DVD tonight?"

Kevin thinks for a minute "Yeah" he says "let's get aladdin!"

"calm down Kev ain't you in a enough shit already?" replies Harvey.

What's the difference between Harvey Weinstein and EA?

EA only sticks their hands in your pants if you have money in your pockets.

What do Hurricane Harvey and Harvey Weinstein have in common?

They are both massive bodies that devastated countless victims.

What is the difference between Hurricane Harvey and Harvey Weinstein?

Hurricane Harvey actually made its victims wet.

A lot of people in America are obese. However, many people from Harvey Weinstein's circle are in decent shape.

Because they spent so long running from the truth.

How many Harvey Weinsteins does it take to change a lightbulb?

That light bulb will change itself right in front of him if she knows what's good for her.

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I really liked Harvey Weinstein’s speech about sexual misconduct

It was very touching

What's the difference between a catfish and Harvey Weinstein?

One's a scum-sucking bottom-dweller. The other's a fish.

What do Harvey Weinstein and Macy’s have in common?

Little boys pants, half off

Harvey Weinstein was a driving instructor before becoming a film producer

He was teaching one of his first students, an attractive young girl, how to drive. He said,

‘lift your left leg off the clutch to start moving.’

A few minutes later, he said,

‘lift your right leg off the accelerator to let the car slow down.’

The girl asked him,
...

Bill Cosby, Anthony Weiner and Harvey Weinstein walk into a bar

Harvey says, "Hey Bill, buy me a drink!"
Bill shouts back, "I don't know what role you're trying to offer me, but let's not involve Weiner..."

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Why did the big ball of hydrogen and helium give Harvey Weinstein a blowjob?

Because he said he would make her a star!

Donald Trump, Harvey Weinstein, and Ajit Pai walks into a bar ...

Later, a man walks up to the bottomless sinkhole, looks down, and asks “Why’s the bar so low?”

Hillary was asked if Weinstein's behavior compared to that of her husband's.

She said "Close, but no cigar."

Now that Harvey Weinstein's Hollywood career is over, he's decided to open a bank.

Word is that he's been giving out plenty of unwanted advances.

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Harvey Weinstein ejaculated in his potted plant so many times . . .

. . . It almost got cast as Will Hunting.

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What's the worst thing you could possibly hear after giving Harvey Weinstein a blow job?

"I'm not Harvey Weinstein"

Someone asked me if I could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would it be

Easy.

Harvey Weinstein. Dead.

The positive news of the day

Harvey Weinstein

Actress: I want to be in the Aladdin remake.

Harvey Weinstein: All you have to do is rub my lamp.

"At first if you don't succeed, try, try again"

- Harvey Weinstein

At what point during a Netflix and Chill should you start touching her?

Immediately after the Weinstein Company logo flashes across the screen

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