What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68?
At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 – She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 – You tell her a story to avoid going to bed....
Why did the policeman stay in bed today?
he was undercover
*!*
Every morning, I stay in bed until I've watched Toy Story all the way through from start to finish.
That way I always wake up with a morning Woody.
I asked my husband: How are you able to stay in bed all morning without getting up to pee? He replied...
...It's hard
Mother's Day
Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.
But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eat...
God spoke to me today.
He said "Stay in bed and skip work".
Turns out my boss isn't religious and I'm unemployed.
Never give up on your dreams...
Stay in bed.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Farm kid writes letter home after joining Marines....
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am ge...
Marge was in bed with her lover. All of a sudden, they heard a noise downstairs.
“Oh my God, your husband is home!” the man said. “What am I going to do?”
“Just stay in bed with me. He’s probably so drunk, he isn’t going to notice you here with me.”
The fear of getting caught trying to escape was more powerful than the thought of getting caught ...
Hey baby, are you the coronavirus?
Cause I wanna stay in bed with you for 2 weeks.
Somebody told me to "live everyday like it's your last".
So, I decided I'd stay in bed with life support and act as if I'm in comatose state from now on.
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