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What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do?

Stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

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What happens when two insomniacs sleep together?

They sleep less

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The insomniacs are getting all excited.

Only 2 more sleeps till Christmas.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am over 18

Honey, remember how when we started dating you told me you were an insomniac and I told you I only had five sex partners?

Neither of us were counting sheep.

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Insomniacs love this time of year...

Only five more sleeps until Christmas!

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Did you hear about the insomniac the police detained?

They were charged with resisting a rest.

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what do you called a insomniac's family tree

Napkin

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Insomniacs are sick human beings...

...how do they even sleep at night?

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Good news, insomniacs!

Only 1 more sleep 'til Christmas!

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What happened to the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac, lazy, dumb, Reddit /jokes poster?

She stayed up all night reposting that there really isn’t an Ogd.

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Why do cops hate insomniacs?

Because they are always resisting a rest

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What did one insomniac mountain climber say to the other?

"Bro, do you everest?"

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An Insomniac once told me.....

I will not rest until I find a cure for my insomnia.

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What do a funeral home and an OCD insomniac excel at doing?

Organizing a wake.

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Did you hear about the insomniac social justice activist?

He was woke af

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This really is the best time of year to be an insomniac.

Only seven more sleeps until Halloween and fourteen until Christmas!

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What's the difference between a butcher and an insomniac?

One of them stays awake, and the other weighs a steak.

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It's not difficult to be an insomniac

**I became one overnight.**

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What do you call an insomniac vampire?

Count Sheep.

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Why do insomniacs always solve things quickly?

They don't sleep on it.

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I don't trust insomniac philosophers...

They're up to know good.

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Why do insomniacs make such great lovers?

They stay up all night.

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What did the cop say to the black insomniac?

Stop resisting a rest!

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