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Insomniac Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do?

Stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What happens when two insomniacs sleep together?

They sleep less

The insomniacs are getting all excited.

Only 2 more sleeps till Christmas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Honey, remember how when we started dating you told me you were an insomniac and I told you I only had five sex partners?

Neither of us were counting sheep.

Insomniacs love this time of year...

Only five more sleeps until Christmas!

Did you hear about the insomniac the police detained?

They were charged with resisting a rest.

what do you called a insomniac's family tree

Napkin

Insomniacs are sick human beings...

...how do they even sleep at night?

Good news, insomniacs!

Only 1 more sleep 'til Christmas!

What happened to the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac, lazy, dumb, Reddit /jokes poster?

She stayed up all night reposting that there really isn’t an Ogd.

Why do cops hate insomniacs?

Because they are always resisting a rest

What did one insomniac mountain climber say to the other?

"Bro, do you everest?"

An Insomniac once told me.....

I will not rest until I find a cure for my insomnia.

What do a funeral home and an OCD insomniac excel at doing?

Organizing a wake.

Did you hear about the insomniac social justice activist?

He was woke af

This really is the best time of year to be an insomniac.

Only seven more sleeps until Halloween and fourteen until Christmas!

It's not difficult to be an insomniac

**I became one overnight.**

What do you call an insomniac vampire?

Count Sheep.

What's the difference between a butcher and an insomniac?

One of them stays awake, and the other weighs a steak.

Why do insomniacs always solve things quickly?

They don't sleep on it.

I don't trust insomniac philosophers...

They're up to know good.

Why do insomniacs make such great lovers?

They stay up all night.

What did the cop say to the black insomniac?

Stop resisting a rest!

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