Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?

He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog.

A dear friend of mine passed away this week. This was one of his jokes: What do you call half of a thousand native American insomniacs?

The Indian nap-less 500.

What do a funeral home and an OCD insomniac excel at doing?

Organizing a wake.

Why did the insomniac get thrown into jail?

He was resisting a rest.

For all you insomniacs out there

Only 3 sleeps until Christmas

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What comes between 4 and 6?

A horny insomniac.

What do you call a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

A man who lies awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.



My dad told me this joke, my apologies if it came from somewhere else.

Insomniacs are sick human beings...

...how do they even sleep at night?

What did the cop say to the black insomniac?

Stop resisting a rest!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Honey, remember how when we started dating you told me you were an insomniac and I told you I only had five sex partners?

Neither of us were counting sheep.

It’s good news for insomniacs

Only 10 more sleeps till Christmas.

Insomniacs must really like this time of year.

Only four more sleeps until Christmas!

Why do cops hate insomniacs?

Because they are always resisting a rest

What did one insomniac mountain climber say to the other?

"Bro, do you everest?"

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

You get somebody who stays up all night tutoring himself mentally over the question of whether or not there is a dog.

Did you hear about the insomniac social justice activist?

He was woke af

An Insomniac once told me.....

I will not rest until I find a cure for my insomnia.

What's the difference between a butcher and an insomniac?

One of them stays awake, and the other weighs a steak.

What do you call an insomniac vampire?

Count Sheep.

It's not difficult to be an insomniac

**I became one overnight.**

Why do insomniacs always solve things quickly?

They don't sleep on it.

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