UPJOKE
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Smiley Jokes

Why did the smiley emoji :-) drop the nose :) ???

It was too negative.

What do you call a smiley with short, blonde hair?

Smiley Cyrus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The story of Mr. Smiley….

There was a nice family of three, a mother, a daughter, and a father. Occasionally, the mother and father would go out on date nights, leaving their daughter at home with a babysitter. The parents would always get a female babysitter, but one day they couldn’t find any female babysitters in the ar...

There are two buddy’s watching clouds together

There are two buddy’s watching clouds together, they point out shapes that they see in the clouds. One of them says oh look that one looks like a bunny, the other points out one that looks like a smiley face. After awhile the first guy asks his friend do you ever think the clouds look down at us and...

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A man sits in a bus when...

a beautiful woman enters the bus. She takes the seat next to him and both start to exchange looks.

After a while the man takes all his confidence and asks her "So, what's your name, beautiful lady?"

She smiles and says "Carmen! ... but my real name is Sarah actually."

"So why do...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope

and made to appear in court before the judge.

The judge said, 'You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and persuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see yo...

A man has two things in his suitcase

A man had two things in his suitcase. One of them is a smiley face and the other one was a revolver.

"What are those for?"
"Ohh, one is for when I get sad and the other is for when I get really sad"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horny American man gets sent to the desert for a job

The desert has a total population of 50 people. After a couple months of his "dry-spell", the man seeks to find out if there's a way to "get the job done" somewhere in the desert.

He asks the locals around and they guide him to the "PIMP with the Camel". He immediately runs up to the PIMP and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Names
===========
If Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice go out for lunch, they will call each other Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice.
If Fred, Luke, Bradley, and Jeff go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.

Eating Out
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