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22nd Jokes

Today, May 22nd, is National Solitaire Day.

I sent myself a Hallmark card honoring the event.

Buzzfeed must have been born between May 22nd and June 22nd...

Because it’s definitely a Cancer

People always ask me why I celebrate 420 a second time at april 22nd

I just thought, 422 is 420 too

On July 22nd I went to the hospital emergency room thinking I had a Cancer.

Labour took longer than expected however and instead I had a Leo on July 23rd

You should cut people born between June 21st and July 22nd out of your life...

They're Cancer.

On his 22nd birthday, my brother came out as a transvestite to our family and celebrated by wearing a miniskirt...

...that shows a lot of balls.

Reddit should rename "share" to "spreddit", "delete" to "shreddit" and "karma" to "creddit".

Yet they haven't. I really don't geddit.

Edit: it's currently December 22nd of 2021 and I confess: this joke is a repost

... just like the hundreds of other copies of this

I just sold my homing pigeon on ebay

for the 22nd time

The laws to get to heaven are new!

They changed the rules to get into heaven and get passed Saint Peter and the pearly gates; you just need to have died in an interesting way.

So three men show up before Peter. Peter asks the first man how did you die?

Man says "well you see i live on the 22nd floor of a high rise apart...

Sunday School

A little boy and a little girl were at Sunday school one week. Throughout the lecture, the little boy kept poking the girl with his pencil.

About ten minutes of poking and lecturing later, the teacher asks "Who created the earth?"

Little girl, tired of being poked by the pencil, slams ...

A boy and a girl were in church.

The teacher was asking them questions.
"Who is the central figure of christianity?" She asks. The boy poked the girl with a sharp pencil to be funny.
"Jesus Christ!" The girl yelled.
"Very good. Now who who created life on earth?" She asked.
The boy poked her again.
"God!" The girl ye...

Three men approach the gates of heaven

Three men approach the gate of heaven and meet Saint Peter who tells them that heaven is getting full and only those with the most awful deaths will be allowed in that day.
The first man steps up and says picture this...My boss let me go home early so I rushed home to my 22nd apartment floor buil...

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3 dead men

(Note: buckel the fuck up because this is a long one)

There are three dead men next to each other on the stairway to heaven. They decide to all share their stories on how they died, one man goes first.

"I live on the 22nd floor on a 30 floor building. I had suspected my wife had been c...

Red Car Day

Red car day - in Honor of my Dad

My dad died 7 years ago. He was a worker in a factory in NYC during the by-gone, post-war era when times were good and jobs were plenty. The guys he worked with were all good friends over the years and enjoyed harmless pranks against one another to pass the ti...

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April in Sunday School

April wasn't the best in Sunday school, she would always sleep through class. But one day, the teacher asked her "Who created the universe?" so a fellow student named Johnny poked her with a pin, causing her to jump up in surprise and shout "God Almighty!" so the teacher said "Very good!", before Ap...

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The Twelve Thank-You Notes of Christmas

Dearest John:

I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.

With dearest love and affection, Agnes

December 15th

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gi...

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Three men approach the pearly gates.

St Peter looks at them regretfully and says," Listen guys I'm really sorry, but heaven is really full at the moment and we are only letting in people who experience a really horrible death."

So the first guy steps forward. "You are never going to believe this. I was doing my daily stretches o...

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