Shoppers Jokes - 9 Hilarious Shoppers Jokes

Which fruit is bad for impulse shoppers?

Buynanas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fellow shoppers enthralled by new diet...

I have two dogs and I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Sainsbury's and was standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the h...

Walmart has announced it will now require shoppers to wear masks in its stores.

However, pants will still be optional.

What do dog window shoppers say?

Just Sniffing

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter,...

Essential retail workers still have to deal with stuck-up shoppers who just won't stay home.

They're in karentine.

It’s so cold up North right now...

...that they are telling Wal-Mart shoppers to wear at least two pairs of pajamas.

Jerry was at a store meeting about some new covid procedures.

The manager said "Ok, listen up. Jerry, this means you. When you see a customer approach, stop 'em and ask about their health, temperature, and cough. Then..." he paused. "Jerry? You payin' attention?"

"Yeah, I hear you." said Jerry.

"Ok." he continued. "If they don't have a mask, just...

When Paul was working as a supermarket stock boy,

he noticed that before choosing a melon, shoppers would hold the fruit up to their ears and knock on it. He never knew what they expected to hear, so one day he asked an older gentleman looking over the melons.

Son, the man replied, I've been doing this for forty years. All I know is tha...

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