The Shoppers

A man walked into a fur store accompanied by beautiful, stacked redhead. "Show my new girlfriend your finest mink," he announced loudly. The storeowner quickly retrieved a full coat, which the redhead tried on and loved. "That coat costs $100,000," the shop owner said. "No problem," the man smiled, ...

Walmart has announced it will now require shoppers to wear masks in its stores.

However, pants will still be optional.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

pa system: attention shoppers, the store will be closing in five hours

**sloth:** oh shit oh shit

Essential retail workers still have to deal with stuck-up shoppers who just won't stay home.

They're in karentine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fellow shoppers enthralled by new diet...

I have two dogs and I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Sainsbury's and was standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the h...

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following let...

Jerry was at a store meeting about some new covid procedures.

The manager said "Ok, listen up. Jerry, this means you. When you see a customer approach, stop 'em and ask about their health, temperature, and cough. Then..." he paused. "Jerry? You payin' attention?"

"Yeah, I hear you." said Jerry.

"Ok." he continued. "If they don't have a mask, just...

It’s so cold up North right now...

...that they are telling Wal-Mart shoppers to wear at least two pairs of pajamas.

When Paul was working as a supermarket stock boy,

he noticed that before choosing a melon, shoppers would hold the fruit up to their ears and knock on it. He never knew what they expected to hear, so one day he asked an older gentleman looking over the melons. ‘

Son,’ the man replied, ‘I’'ve been doing this for forty years. All I know is tha...

A man tries to rob a record store...

... by stealing many valuable vinyls. However, a sharp-eyed-shopper caught him in the act. He shouted out, "Hey! This guy's trying to shoplift!" to the rest of the store. The thief tried to run away, but the shopper grabbed a record and threw it at the man, knocking him over. Several other shoppers ...

A blind man...

...enters the [KaDeWe](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaufhaus_des_Westens) in Berlin, together with his seeing eye dog.

Tapping his cane, he makes his way along the displays when suddenly he stops, grabs his dog by the hind legs and twirls it around above his head a couple of times.

Of ...

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