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Scouts Jokes

Bubba

Once When Bubba got a new job, he says to his new boss, “Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!”

His boss doesn't believe him, so he says “No you do not know everyone in the whole world.”

Bubba says “Yes I do!”

Bubba's boss says “Well prove it!”

Bubba says...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man comes home early from work;

A man comes home early from work; As he enters the house hears noises coming from above

He rushes up the stairs and into the bedroom, only to find his wife in bed with his best friend Jim.

Oh Jim, how could you? We went to school together; we were in the scouts together, we….

Ji...

The Boy Scouts just added a level after Eagle

Plaintiff

Why does nobody like playing FPS games with Boy Scouts?

Because they're good at camping.


(Credit goes to the Scout's Life magazine I got today for making one of the worst scout jokes I've ever seen.)

Joke Johnny Carson slipped by the censors

I'm not sure if this was an original Carson joke or one he could have borrowed:

One night Johnny got to talking about his Nebraska roots and he told this alleged true story during a sketch scene. Johnny mentioned that the most fearsome Indian tribe were not the Sioux, nor the Apache or even ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

church bulletin bloopers

*These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:*
--------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old World War II political joke my granddad told me when I was a kid.

I'll try to retell it exactly as he told it to me when I was about seven or so.

>There's this intersection with a four way stop. Four cars displaying reichstag flags approach the intersection. You know, like those official flags the president's got, except they got the kraut eagle and car...

Pixar movies over the years

What if toys had feelings?

What if bugs had feelings?

What if monsters had feelings?

What if fish had feelings?

What if superheroes had feelings?

What if cars had feelings?

What if rats had feelings?

What if robots hadd feelings?

What if boy s...

Scouts are an easy-going bunch.

But they can be in tents

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dutch and belgian soldier patroll the river maas. (Srry if repost)

Patrols are conducted on both sides of the river Maas. A Dutch soldier walks on one side, a Belgian soldier on the other. It is early in the morning and there is still some fog on the water.

The Dutch soldier wonders which section of the army the Belgian soldier is on. He wants to ask the Be...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The cocky exponential function e^x is strolling along the road insulting the functions he sees walking by.

He scoffs at a wandering polynomial for the shortness of its Taylor series. He snickers at a passing smooth function of compact support and its glaring lack of a convergent power series about many of its points. He positively laughs as he passes |x| for being nondifferentiable at the origin. He smil...

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