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I started a company...

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

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In the past people listened to prophets

Now they listen to profits

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What happened after God legalized weed?

Prophets were at an all-time high

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I've started a business crafting small figurines of Muhammad.

It's making little prophets.

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I recently began selling faulty jetpacks to fortune tellers.

Prophets are flying through the roof.

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What's a Ferengi's least favourite band?

The lost prophets

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Why didn't Jesus start a charity?

Cuz they're not for prophets.

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Did you know that you don't pay taxes on flatbreads if they have a picture of Mohammed on it?

That's because naan-prophets are tax-exempt.

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Why shouldn’t atheists pay taxes?

They are not for prophets

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Why was God such a savvy businessman?

He knew how to make prophets.

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Jesus would make an excellent businessman.

He was turning up prophets before he was even born.

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Less and less people are buying into religion.

Prophets are down.

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Have you heard about pogo stick cult?

Prophets have gone through the roof.

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