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Prophets Jokes

I started a company...

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

In the past people listened to prophets

Now they listen to profits

What happened after God legalized weed?

Prophets were at an all-time high

I've started a business crafting small figurines of Muhammad.

It's making little prophets.

I recently began selling faulty jetpacks to fortune tellers.

Prophets are flying through the roof.

What's a Ferengi's least favourite band?

The lost prophets

Why didn't Jesus start a charity?

Cuz they're not for prophets.

Did you know that you don't pay taxes on flatbreads if they have a picture of Mohammed on it?

That's because naan-prophets are tax-exempt.

Why shouldn’t atheists pay taxes?

They are not for prophets

Why was God such a savvy businessman?

He knew how to make prophets.

Jesus would make an excellent businessman.

He was turning up prophets before he was even born.

Less and less people are buying into religion.

Prophets are down.

Have you heard about pogo stick cult?

Prophets have gone through the roof.

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