In the past people listened to prophets

Now they listen to profits

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar

They all begin discussing their own churches and synagogue. As the night goes on, they drink more and more, and the discussion starts to turn competitive. Each starts to boast about how eloquent they are, and how great they are at converting non believers. Eventually, the bartender gets sick of it. ...

I've started a business crafting small figurines of Muhammad.

It's making little prophets.

I started a business selling landmines as prayer mats.

The prophets are through the roof!

What's a Ferengi's least favourite band?

The lost prophets

Did you know that you don't pay taxes on flatbreads if they have a picture of Mohammed on it?

That's because naan-prophets are tax-exempt.

Why shouldn’t atheists pay taxes?

They are not for prophets

Jesus would make an excellent businessman.

He was turning up prophets before he was even born.

Less and less people are buying into religion.

Prophets are down.

I recently began selling faulty jetpacks to fortune tellers.

Prophets are flying through the roof.

Star Trek: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Captain Kirk: "To boldly go where no chicken had gone before!"
Spock: "At the time, it seemed the logical thing to do."
McCoy: "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a barnyard psychologist!"
Scotty: "Because it couldna change the laws o' physics!"
Computer: "Insufficient data."

D...

Why was God so rich?

Because he had so many prophets

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