If I won the $51 million powerball jackpot, I’d give a quarter to charity.

Not sure what I would do with the other $50,999,999.75 though...

If I win tonight's Powerball, I'm sharing with everyone on Reddit.

I'm not sharing the money. I'll just let you know I won.

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Powerball

Wouldn’t it be funny if the woman on TV pulled out a strand of anal beads from behind and said “And the winning powerball numbers are....”

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A 90 year old man wins the Powerball for 400 million dollars..

He arrives at the press conference, accepts his giant check and teary eyed with joy proceeds to take questions from the media storm. First reporter asks "What is your full name?" He replies his name is Ira Mandelbaum. Second reporter asks "What are you going to do now?" Ira replies "First, I am ...

In honor of the Powerball

A man comes home one day and says, "Guess what honey? Pack your bags, I won the lottery!" The wife squeals with delight and says, "That's great! Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?" He says, "I don't care, just get out!"

If everyone bought a powerball ticket, who would win biggest?

Powerball

A liberal wins the powerball!

Millionaires and Billionaires aren't so bad now after all!

Did you hear about the woman who blew all her money on powerball tickets?

She made a lotto bad decisions....

Government: Gambling is addictive, morally wrong, and predatory, so we are outlawing it.

In unrelated news the Powerball jackpot is $126 Million Dollars! Can't win if you don't play!

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A woman bursts into her man's room, holding a ticket...

She yell's "I just won 15 million dollars in the powerball Harold! Pack your bags!"
The husband jumps out of his seat "Oh my god! Should I pack for Hot or Cold weather!?"
The wife replies "I don't give a fuck just get the hell out!"

A Man Finds a Magic Lamp While Walking Down the Beach

He rubs the lamp and out pops a genie! The Genie says "I'll grant you three wishes BUT!!!! There is a catch. Whatever you wish for every lawyer in the world will receive double."

After thinking long and hard and about his decision the man finally answers. "I'd like a A 1963 Ferrari 250 GTO." ...

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An old man walks into a bank....

....and says to the teller,

"I wanna open a damn checking account."

Taken aback, the woman replies,

"I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misheard you....what did you just say to me??"

"Clean the crap outta yer ears. I said I want to open a damn checking account, right ...

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