Portly Jokes - 6 Hilarious Portly Jokes

The portly bald wizard just made a basketball appear out of thin air.

He must be a sportscaster.

"Kneel before me!" demands a portly king. All present kneel, except for one peasant who remains standing casually. Outraged, the king points his scepter at this peasant and barks, "You there, why do you not kneel!?" The peasant responds,

"Considering how long it'd take you even just to get out of that chair, there's clearly no need to rush."

A Space Marine walks into a bar.

He says to the grizzled, portly barkeeper, "Bring me two beers." Seeing that he is alone, the barkeep asks him 'Why two?' The Space Marine chuckles and replies, "Simple, my friend. One for me, and one FOR THE EMPEROR!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The fat guy who saved my life.

I was rushing down the road, on a cloudy and rainy day, thunder and lightning bursting in the distance.

I turned the corner, past a cemetery, when suddenly i heard a yell, and my body was tackled to the ground.

I hit the floor with a thud, my eyes focusing on this extremely portly guy ...

A marine hits the beach on D-Day

A young marine hits the beach on D-Day, June 6, 1944. In the chaos of storming the beach he drops his rifle. Panicing, he runs to his Sergent and tells him what happened. The Sergent hands him a peice of driftwood and says "Now anytime you see a Kraut, just point this stick a him and should 'bangity...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was out of work...

A man was out of work, and he was combing through the want ads. He saw that a school was looking for a bus driver, so he called and was asked to come for an interview. He got the job, and was surprised when he went out and found that the bus was garishly painted with Big Bird, Bert & Ernie, and ...

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