Play Guitar Jokes - 20 Hilarious Play Guitar Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that."

So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and...

I used to play guitar in my room when I was a child, and it was my dream to make it big. Fast forward twenty years, and now I play to thousands of people a week.

If only some of them could spare me some change.

Does Freddie know how to play guitar?

No, but Brian may

How do you attract a priest who likes to play guitar?

B Minor!

I play guitar underwater

To drown my solos.

There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident.

He became very depressed because he had loved to play guitar and do a lot of things that took two arms.

One day he had had it. He decided to commit suicide and went to the top of a building to jump off.

He was standing on the ledge looking down when he saw a man skipping along, whistli...

I get suicidal when I play guitar

So I don't fret about it

Sorry [8]

Doc, will I be able to play guitar after my arm heals?

Doc: Of course

Dude: Sick! I couldn't do that before!

I was asked to play guitar and sing for a homeless man's funeral...

The service was going to be held out in the middle of nowhere, and when I was on the way my gps got me lost. When I finally found the cemetery, it was too late, the cemetery workers were already digging the hole. I decided to sing my heart out to this homeless guy, after all he probably had no famil...

A horse is sitting at home, watching MTV...

He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"

The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.

"Sure," says the m...

So, there was a Horse, a Sheep and a Chicken and they lived in a barn

The horse had long dreamed of learning to play the guitar.

So the horse rings a music shop and he says, “Hey, I’d love to learn to play guitar. Is there anyone who can teach me”?

The music shop manager says “That’s not an issue, let’s get you started on some music lessons.” ...

A horse in a barn was listening to some rock and roll on the radio...

And he was inspired. The guitarist was masterful, and the horse knew, then and there, that he needed to play guitar. More than anything he'd ever needed before.

So he calls up his buddy, who is a guitar teacher, and asks his buddy to help him learn guitar. The horse takes to it quickly and p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horse is sitting in his stable one day when he hears music coming from the farmhouse. He waits patiently for the farmer to go out before making his way across to the farmhouse to see what's going on. As he peers through the window he can see MTV is on the television.

Horse goes into the house and sees a rock band on the screen. He is instantly taken by the guitar and decides there and then he wants to play. He uses the telephone and calls the local music shop. He explains that he has seen the band on TV, that he is a horse and that he wants to play guitar, The m...

One day a farmer discovers he has a talking horse

So, after talking to it for awhile, the horse decides that it wants to learn how to play guitar. So the farmer does the only logical thing, and buys the horse a guitar. Somehow, the horse learns how to play the guitar, and tours the country on talk shows, concerts, and even meeting the president. Th...

One day a horse is watching a music video [Long]

One day a horse is watching a music video and decides that he himself, wants to make a music video.

In preparation, he goes to the phone book and looks up a local music teacher. He calls him up and says

"Hey, I saw that you teach musical instruments, and I really want to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Barnyard Blues

There’s this horse in a barn and he’s watching TV and he sees a rock band playing music so he calls up a music teacher “Hey, I wanna learn to play guitar, there’s only 1 problem I’m a horse” music teacher says “no problem I can teach anyone anything” 2 months go by and horse is shredding it on the g...

A bard and a priest are trapped amid rising floodwaters.

"What are we gonna do?!" Screams the bard.

"Quick," the priest says,"Give me your guitar!"

"We're going to die and you want to play guitar?!" The bard exclaims.

"Trust me."

And with a single strum, a white light envelops them. When the light clears, they find themselves o...

A man walks into a doctor's office with a broken arm.

He asks the doctor, "Doc, when my arm is healed, will I be able to play guitar?"

Doctor: "Well the fracture doesn't appear to be too bad, so yes you should be able to when it's all healed"

Man: "That's fantastic news! I've always wanted to be able to play guitar."

With all this quarantining we have to be especially careful of drummers

When this is over they’re gonna come out thinking they can play guitar and sing

Why the long face?

There’s a horse in middle school, he doesn’t really have anything going for him, he’s watching MTV, sees jimmy hendrix playing, wants to be like him, asks his parents for a guitar, they deliberate but then give him one, he plays, gets really good, then gives up
Few years later, he’s in high schoo...

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