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Person Die Jokes

There was a plane crash and every single person died

All the married couples survived

Which body part continues to live even after a person dies?

The Liver

a person died and reached the gates of heaven. An angel was guarding the gates.

a person died and reached the gates of heaven. An angel was guarding the gates. The Angel said "to enter the heaven, you need to answer 3 questions". The person agreed. (Angel : A, Person : P)
A : name 2 days of a week, that starts with letter T.
P : Today and tomorrow
A: ok, I can ac...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a situation in which a person died while his penis was erect ?

A Die Hard situation

Me : Lets plant a tree after each person dies.

Thanos becomes the biggest contributer of teamtrees

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fellow stuck in a coronavirus outbreak, prayed to God for help.

Soon the head of the WHO came by. He said “Try social distancing! It can save you!”

The fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me.” So the head of the WHO went on.

Then Dr. Fauci came by and told the man “Wear a mask! It can save you!”

The ...

After a person dies, what part of their body is the last to stop working?

Their eyes. They dilate.

Q: A plane crashed and every single person died except four, Why?

A: Because they were flying United Airlines

If a person dies after suffering an average number of strokes for their age

did they make par?

There was a man in Bulgaria who drove a train for a living...

There was a man in Bulgaria who drove a train for a living.

He loved his job, driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child.

He loved to make the train go as fast as possible.

Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash.

He mad...

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies.

Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

Horse Statues

If a statue depicting a person on a horse with all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.


If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in a battle.


If a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in a ...

A man named Joke

Once upon a time in ancient times, there was a man named Joke. He lived a long and prosperous life, happily married to his wife and having three children.

In the culture that they lived in, most believed that when a person died, a new star was born in the sky for them. However, Joke did not ...

These exchanges were recorded verbatim by court reporters and published in the book, "Disorder in the American Courts".

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget..

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

WITNESS: How would I know?
___...

What is the most toxic gas? (Possible Dad Joke?)

Air, every person died consuming it.

Clocks, Trump, and Heaven

A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says, "I'm not very busy today, why don't you let me show you around?" The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course...

Till death

So imagine a world where a person dies, goes to heaven, and gets a vehicle based on how faithful they were to their spouse.

Three men all die at the same time and are sentenced to their vehicle along side one another.

*The first man*: He was faithful to his spouse every day of his lif...

2 people walked into a bar...

The first person asked the bartender for some H20.

The second person asked for some H20 too.

They both sat down and enjoyed their drinks.

The second person died.


*Credit to my Chemistry Teacher for making this joke*

There was a fire yesterday at my local thrift store

A person died of secondhand smoke

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