UPJOKE
perceptibletangibleevidentobviousunmistakableapparentmassageambivalenceintenseemotionalprofoundunderstandablegiddyunsettlingvisceral

The tough question

One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

\- "I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"

The driver agrees:

\- "You're right. As your driver, I ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Two lovers of a recently deceased woman, both named Jack, attended her funeral.

They did not know about each other, nor the womanโ€™s apparent penchant for lovers named Jack. They both, despite their typical emotional despondency, ended up caring for this woman over their respective affairs. Upon meeting and talking, at the reception, they realized they had both been played. Both...

At a conference for the arcane and supernatural...

The speaker is interested in the supernatural experiences that the audience members may have been through. "Raise your hand if you have ever seen a ghost" About 80% of the audience raises their hand. "Great" says the speaker "now keep your hand raised if you have spoken to a ghost" Half of them low...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

An American walks into a pub in Ireland

...he sits down next to an old, mangled Irishman who is clearly on his umpteenth drink of the afternoon.

As the American orders a beer, the Irishman leans over to him and says:

> Whatโ€™d ya think of this bar, young man?

โ€œItโ€™s nice.โ€ The American says, nonplussed. He just wan...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Uranus ( long )

Originally from Buck Buchanan 9 i just had to share) let the Uranus jokes come forth.............anyway....

โ€œIt's my understanding that the first six probes were recklessly plunged into Uranus at such excessively high speeds these early attempts only produced massively dense clouds of methane...

The Lord will take care of me

Mr. Jackson was a devout Southern Baptist. He spent his entire life in dedicated service to the Lord. He never missed a church service, or an opportunity to demonstrate his great faith in The Father.

One Sunday morning the congregation of Mr. Jackson's church were gathered for service, and...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.