My Oscars speech

I have to thank my arms for always being at my side, my legs for supporting me and my fingers because i could always count on them.

We really shouldn't care what people at the Oscars say

They are all paid actors anyway

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Why don't porn movies win Oscars?

Because the plots are full of holes.

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A man went to a gigantic zoo to visit his buddy Oscar [LONG]

Once there, he marveled at all the animals in their different habitats. Still in awe, he then asked one of the employees where he could find Oscar.


"Oscar? I know two Oscars who work here. Are you looking for Oscar Peterson or Oscar Cocks?"


"Oscar Peterson is ...

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Why aren’t porno movies included in the Oscars?

I mean winning an Oscar pretending to be the Queen of England is one thing, but looking like you’re enjoying two dicks in your ass, now THAT’S acting.

I told Leonardo DiCaprio a joke about the Oscars...

He didn't get it.

Several aristocrats are having a party on a cruise ship, when the captain comes down and interrupts.

"I have some good news and some bad news," he says. "Which do you want to hear first?"

"Good!" everyone says in unison.

The captain says, "We won eleven Oscars!"

Didn't see Liam Neeson at the Oscars last night.

Must be on a blacklist

Why was Spike Lee mad after the Oscars?

Jussie Smollett got the Oscars for writing, producing and directing BlackKlansmen

Oh snap..I missed the Oscars again.

That makes 35 years in a row now.

It's ironic that Parasite won.

Because there was no host for the Oscars.

Huh? Huh?
I'll show myself out.

Thank you for the silver star!. My first!

Oscars experience mistake awarding Best Picture to Moonlight...

Hollywood blames Russian hacking

I guess we know why Kevin Spacey doesn't win the Oscars race anymore...

He always comes in a little behind.

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

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If you thought black people were mad about the Oscars...

wait until the nominations come out for the World's Greatest Dad Award.

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If I had a nickle for every time I heard the word Diversity at the Oscars..

I still wouldn't give a shit.

What's the difference between the Oscars and the BET Awards?

Oscar winners can thank BOTH of their parents.

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