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Inexperienced Jokes

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An inexperienced young dude hooks up with a rather experienced MILF on Tinder...

They make out, when she says - hey, you ever had a 69? "No, what's that?", he replies. She says "let me show you", as she pulls down her undies and straddles his face, taking his dick in her mouth.

Few minutes into it, she's hot and bothered, and lets out the tiniest "feeeeeeeeepppp" fart war...

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A young inexperienced man goes to work on a farm…

…first day the farmer is showing him around the farm and explains his duties and a special job to do today.
“Go out to the chicken coop and get me a male and a female “ says the farmer. The boy goes and brings back two chickens. “I got a chicken and the rooster” says the boy.
The farmer corr...

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A 21-year-old Texan was still a virgin, so he travelled to a brothel in Dallas to see what he’d been missing.

He got the address of a reputable place and in no time at all he was in bed with an attractive hooker. She sensed he was inexperienced, so she took his hand and placed it on her money maker. “Is that what you’re looking for?” He said “I don’t know ma’am. I’m a stranger in these parts.”

A woman is deciding between three suitors which one to be with. She says to the three men, "we are still young and inexperienced, go out there and travel around the world, we'll see when you come back."

So the first guy goes to Europe and tours the different countries there.

The second guy goes to Europe, then Asia, then Africa, then Australia and basically goes everywhere.

The third guy doesn't go anywhere.

6 months later they all meet up and the first guy says, "I went to all...

A businessman went into the office and found an inexperienced handyman painting the walls.

The handyman was wearing two heavy parkas on a hot summer day.

Thinking this was a little strange, the businessman asked the handyman why he was wearing the parkas on such a hot day.

The handyman showed him the instructions on the can of paint. They read: “For best results, put on two ...

What do you call an inexperienced Egyptian God?

Anoobis

People say Donald trump is inexperienced as a politician...

But he's the best damn liar I've ever seen!

I wrote a joke about an inexperienced skydiver.

It didn't go down well.

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What do you call an inexperienced prostitute who cheats at billiards?

Snooker

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So, a woman and an inexperienced guy want to have sex...

She proposes doing 69, he doesn't know the position but agrees - doesn't matter had sex, he thinks.

They begin, she sucks and he licks happily away, but suddenly she has to fart. He pauses, shivers but continues.

Shortly after, she farts again. He pushes her off, puts on his pants. She...

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An inexperienced preacher was to hold a graveside burial service at a pauper's cemetery

for an indigent man
with no family or friends. Not knowing where the
cemetery was, he made several wrong turns and got
lost. When he eventually arrived an hour late, the hearse
was nowhere in sight, the backhoe was next to the open
hole, and the workmen were sitting under a tree eatin...

A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar

They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak.

They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society. ...

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Submitted Dating ad:

I am man, 33, looking for a long term relationship.
Profession: Member of parliament for 11 years.
Traits: Strenuous, hard-working, righteous, honest, incorrupt, truthful, fighting for the rights of poor people.

Answer:
I am 30.
Profession: Working 15 years as a prostitute.
Tra...

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I went on a date with a lovely woman and we started talking about sex.

"I'm quite inexperienced. Could you give me some advice on how I might make a woman orgasm?" I asked.

She said, "I suggest that you use two fingers instead of one."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," she added. "It's a good way to tell the barman that I'd like a double shot next."

Donald Trump, Boris Johnson and Vladimir Putin go to a bar

Bartender (who is somewhat inexperienced) asks what they want to order.

Putin - "I'll have a V and C."
Bartender - "What's a V and C?"
Putin - "Vodka and Coke."

Johnson - "I'll have a G and T."
Bartender - "What's a G and T?"
Johnson - "Gin and tonic."

Trump - "I'll ...

Two men fell madly in love with the same woman

They went to the woman and demanded she choose between them.

The woman told the two men that they were young and inexperienced, they should both go all the way around the world at least once before she could decide.

The first man immediately went home, began packing, and booked a the f...

Jeremy Clarkson on the farm.

After a disastrous first year on the farm Jeremy Clarkson hatches a new plan and gets ten sows and a hog to make lots of piglets.
He calls the vet and asks for any help and what to look for. The old vet tells him if the hog has been successful the sows will be asleep on their backs with all for ...

I'll never forget when I saw it for the first time.

I was 12 at the time, I just hit puberty. I measured it and it was 3.5 inches if I remember correctly. I almost couldn't believe my own eyes. It's more than twice of what I been seeing before. It was crazy. Ill never forget how sensitive it was and how inexperienced I was when touching it using my o...

Priest calls a town meeting about rumors of ghosts... (long)

In a small rural town rumors start to spread that people are seeing ghosts, so the new and inexperienced priest hears about these rumors and decides to call a town meeting to get to the bottom of these rumors. After everyone arrives the priest then starts the meeting with a question: "Who here has s...

An atheist and a pastor are playing around of golf

The atheist is new to the game of golf and therefore is inexperienced unlike the pastor.

On the first hole the atheist misses and shouts “GOD DAMM IT I missed!” And the pastor being a pastor tells him not to use the lords name in vain.

On the second hole the atheist misses and again ...

A bully and his gang walk into a Subway store

He then sees the sandwich artist (that's what they are called) is a skinny, young, inexperienced kid- a perfect target to bully while ordering some subs. He walks up to the kid and starts his order of his 6-inch sub

The kid then proceeds to cut a footlong sub bread in half for a 6-inch sub wh...

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69 gone wrong

A woman took an inexperienced man home one night. When they got to her apartment, she suggested that they try a 69.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Not knowing quite how to explain, she said, "You put your head between my legs and I'll put my head between your legs" Still unsure but wi...

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An English Man, An Irish Man, and a Scots Man all go to the beach...

As they walk along the sand they see a Mermaid laid up on the rocks, the waves crashing around her. They are all struck by her beauty but are initially scared to approach. The English Man finally does and strikes up a conversation. As they talk he realises she is totally inexperienced with human int...

The lock

One night a guy and his new girlfriend are about to go into his apartment for the first time. Before he can open the door his girlfriend says, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door."

The guy says, "What do you mean?"

The girlfriend says, "First, if ...

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A deaf married couple are on their honeymoon...

They were both inexperienced sexually and were having a bit of trouble communicating with the lights off. Finally the wife turns on the lights and signs:

"If you are horny, squeeze my tits once, If you are not, squeeze twice."

The husband thought about this and signed back:

"I...

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Chemical Analysis of Women

Item: Chemical Analysis



Subject: Women



Symbol: Wo



Discovered by: Adam



Atomic Weight: Average expected as 150lb, but there are known isotopes ranging from 100lb to 250lb.


Occurrence: Surplus quanti...

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It’s time to redecorate the nunnery and Mother Superior is feeling overwhelmed with supervising all the various contractors. Wanting to save some money, she tasks the 2 newest novitiates with painting the cloister...

The young nuns are inexperienced painters, and they paint slowly and carefully, concerned about getting paint on their habits.

Mother Superior comes to check on them and is dismayed to find by the end of the day they’ve barely painted one wall.

“You’ll need to paint faster ladies, w...

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A young teenager walks in to a pharmacy

A young teenager walks in to a pharmacy to buy a pack of condoms. There was a beautiful assistant behind the counter and she noticed that the boy was inexperienced. She handed him the package and asked if he knew how to put it on.
“No, I’ve never done it”.
Next thing he knew, the assistant o...

It was their wedding night. . .

And the inexperienced couple had never undressed in front of each other. As the new groom slipped off his shoes and socks, his bride couldn't help but notice how terribly deformed his feet were.

"My goodness, Dear, whatever happened to your feet"

"Well, my love, I never mentioned this...

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SIXTY NINER anybody?

A girl brings a guy home one night. They get into her apartment and immediately she suggests that they do "69". "What the hell is that?" asks the guy. Realizing he's inexperienced, she tries to explain, "I put my head between your legs and you put your head between mine." Still not knowing what she'...

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3 friends want to work in the local mine...

They are totally inexperienced, but the money offered is good and they figure they can bluff their way in.

All 3 of them show up on the day of the interview and the first one is called into the boss' office.

Boss: So, do you have any mine working experience?

Friend 1: Sure, yeah...

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Sixty Nine

Jack is about to have sex with Jill but both of them are a bit inexperienced. Jill had gone on the internet earlier and looked up some new positions for them to try. She suggests to Jack that they should try 69
Jack tells her that he has no idea about this position so Jill explains to him that sh...

the greenhorn

A greenhorn comes from back east to try his hand at prospecting. He buys his gear and heads off into the hills. He has a couple of lonely weeks, with a little bit of success finding gold.

He's sitting by his campfire one evening when this crusty old prospector shows up and says "Howdy there...

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So, these 3 brothers buy a donkey for their farm...

After just 3 days of working, the donkey dies. The youngest brother decides to bury the donkey in the nearby forest. He brings his shovel, grabs the donkey and goes out. On his way to the forest he remembers that there is a very deep lake somewhere around. After a few hours of searching he finds the...

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Hung Like a Baby

A young, and very conservative couple is planning to get married. They are deeply in love, but have scarcely done more than hold hands, and only with each other. As they walk along the downtown streets of their city, admiring wedding dresses and cakes at various shops, and making notes about what th...

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