Two electrons were following quantum physics principles, as usual, while exchanging virtual protons to conduct an electric current

One electron said to the other, "This quantum trading stuff sounds like imaginary nonsense; if I can carry meaningful information faster than the speed of light, then I will."

The remaining electron watched his former partner depart into the nether, sighed, then said to his collar microphone,...

Protons have mass?

Never knew they were Catholic

Protons, neutrons and electrons

Are the little things that matter.

Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?

Because they didn't want to elect ron

What did the protons yell as they rushed into battle?

*CHARGE!*

What did the charged electron say to the other protons?

I got my Ion you

Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons

They forgot to mention Morons.

Girl, do you have 67 protons?

Cuz you a Ho

I've been calibrating my new device which measures the electric charge of subatomic particles by testing it on Protons

So far, the results have been positive.

A man gave me 79 protons

Thanks for the gold!

You must have 11 protons,

Because you are SODIUM cute.

I'd like to give a shout out to protons-

for keeping our community positive.

All the protons went to a party...

They were enjoying themselves until the electrons attacked them. There was a scare in the party scene. Then emerged a brave man who took care of all electrons at once..All the protons were astounded by it and asked him who he was.

He replied, "Bond...Covalent bond"

What kinds of clothes do protons wear?

Plus sizes!

2 scientists were at a science sale

The first one was selling protons and electrons for .10 cents each. The second one was just handing out neutrons to anyone. When I asked the second one why he wouldn't accept any money for the neutrons he repllied: *they're free of charge*.

Oxygen and potassium went on a date...

...it went ok.

Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

The other chemicals were like 'omg'!

Two noble gases went on a date.

There was no reaction.

Two protons went on a date.

There was no attraction.

Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.

They felt...

An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland.

The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. "The Collider can accelerate protons," the assistant began.

The professor smiled and said, "Yes, I've seen it do that, personally."

Surprised and intrigued that his mentor had worked with ...

At one point in time...

we thought atoms represented the smallest unit of matter. Although initially thought to be indivisible, this was proven false and each atom is made up of proton, neutrons, and electrons inside.

For a time these were the smallest units, then we found that these protons and neutrons were made u...

What is satan's favourite chemical?

Carbon. because it has 6 protons 6 neutrons and 6 electrons

A guy wants to build a nuke. He goes to a supplier and asks...

"How much are the protons?"

"A dime a dozen, and the neutrons are free of charge."

Special shop sale:

electrons: 10 cents

protons: 10 cents

neutrons: free of charge

A group of cosmic rays establishes a stock trading company

A group of cosmic rays establishes a stock trading company. As energetic as they come, they start off with a bang. With a handful of eager young protons joining their ranks, they begin to see extremely positive gains in their investments in no time. They're making more money than they know what to d...

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT: ADMINISTRATIUM

I found this in my humor folder while cleaning out old files. It's the only one that I didn't see posted previously on Reddit. Hope I didn't just miss it.

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT: ADMINISTRATIUM

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by University phys...

An atom asks another atom,

Do these protons make my mass look big?

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