Me: So I went fission.

Me: So I went fission.

And I caught a fish thiiiis big.

My Friend: Are you gonna split it with me?

Which fast food produces the most radiation?

>!Fission chips. !<

What did Enrico Fermi say when he split the atom?

“Fission Accomplished!”

Why is the electron not at the nucleus?

It's gone fission.

Why did the Nuclear Power Plant have an aquarium built next to it?

To put all its nuclear fission.

I set up a small nuclear power plant in my garage.

It was running well until I got busted by a fish and game warden of all people. He gave me a fat ticket for not having a fission license.

What is a nuclear physicists favorite food?

FissionChips

Yesterday I was talking to an alien from space..

Turns out they eat radio active materials. I ask it what its favorite meal was.

It told me, fission chips.

What do you get if you apply enough heat and pressure to Pringles?

Fission chips

What do British nuclear engineers eat?

Fission chips.

What is a scientists favorite lunch?

fission chips

What did American physicists say to the US government after German scientists discovered how to split atoms?

Don’t worry, theres other fission, DC.

He was an expert on all types of atom splitting.

In fact you could say he is a fission-ado.

What does the note on a vacationing nuclear physicist's office door say?

Gone fission.

What do nuclear physicists do when they have time off?

They go fission.

A nuclear scientist sent me a dodgy email

I've heard about this fission scam

Why did the nuclear physicist miss the laboratory meeting?

Because he was gone fission.

What do you get if you mix plutonium with a fishing rod?

Nuclear fission

Don't reply to nuclear reactors that say they're ugly.

They're just fission for compliments.

What do you call a seafood restaurant that generates its own power?

A fission-chips shop.

An American, a German, and a Chinese man were all arguing over their drinks about whose country was the best.

An American, a German, and a Chinese man were all arguing over their drinks about whose country was the best.

The American started things off. "America invented the atomic bomb, discovered DNA, made the Internet, and went to the Moon. Without us, none of those things would have happened."
...

What meal was given out to the survivors of the Chernobyl accident?

Fission chips.

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