Fission Jokes - 21 Hilarious Fission Jokes

Me: So I went fission.

Me: So I went fission.

And I caught a fish thiiiis big.

My Friend: Are you gonna split it with me?

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What's a nuclear engineer's favourite meal?

Fission chips!

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What does the sign say on the office of a nuclear physicist who went on vacation?

Gone fission

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What did the bacteria say when it successfully divided?

Fission accomplished!

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How does a nucleus relax?

It goes fission’

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What do nuclear plants serve their workers for lunch?

Fission Chips

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Have you heard about the dyslexic spy who got caught with a suitcase nuke in the post office?

Fission mailed!

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A nuclear power plant worker…

A nuclear power plant worker sees his coworker with a fishing rod and line in the reactor.

“How’s the fission, John?”

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Which fast food produces the most radiation?

>!Fission chips. !<

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Where do nuclear scientists go on their holidays

They go Fission...

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What is a nuclear physicists favorite food?

FissionChips

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What do you get if you apply enough heat and pressure to Pringles?

Fission chips

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Yesterday I was talking to an alien from space..

Turns out they eat radio active materials. I ask it what its favorite meal was.

It told me, fission chips.

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A nuclear scientist sent me a dodgy email

I've heard about this fission scam

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I set up a small nuclear power plant in my garage.

It was running well until I got busted by a fish and game warden of all people. He gave me a fat ticket for not having a fission license.

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What did American physicists say to the US government after German scientists discovered how to split atoms?

Don’t worry, theres other fission, DC.

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He was an expert on all types of atom splitting.

In fact you could say he is a fission-ado.

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Don't reply to nuclear reactors that say they're ugly.

They're just fission for compliments.

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What do you call a seafood restaurant that generates its own power?

A fission-chips shop.

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What meal was given out to the survivors of the Chernobyl accident?

Fission chips.

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An American, a German, and a Chinese man were all arguing over their drinks about whose country was the best.

An American, a German, and a Chinese man were all arguing over their drinks about whose country was the best.

The American started things off. "America invented the atomic bomb, discovered DNA, made the Internet, and went to the Moon. Without us, none of those things would have happened."
...

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