The 20+ Best Fission Jokes

Have you heard about the dyslexic spy who got caught with a suitcase nuke in the post office?

Fission mailed!

What's does nuclear radiation specialist have for dinner?

Fission chips!

Me: So I went fission.

Me: So I went fission.

And I caught a fish thiiiis big.

My Friend: Are you gonna split it with me?

Which fast food produces the most radiation?

>!Fission chips. !<

A nuclear power plant worker…

A nuclear power plant worker sees his coworker with a fishing rod and line in the reactor.

“How’s the fission, John?”

Why is the electron not at the nucleus?

It's gone fission.

What do nuclear plants serve their workers for lunch?

Fission Chips

Where do nuclear scientists go on their holidays

They go Fission...

What is a nuclear physicists favorite food?

FissionChips

I set up a small nuclear power plant in my garage.

It was running well until I got busted by a fish and game warden of all people. He gave me a fat ticket for not having a fission license.

What do you get if you apply enough heat and pressure to Pringles?

Fission chips

Yesterday I was talking to an alien from space..

Turns out they eat radio active materials. I ask it what its favorite meal was.

It told me, fission chips.

What did American physicists say to the US government after German scientists discovered how to split atoms?

Don’t worry, theres other fission, DC.

What did the sign say on the abandoned nuclear reactor?

Gone fission

A nuclear scientist sent me a dodgy email

I've heard about this fission scam

What does the note on a vacationing nuclear physicist's office door say?

Gone fission.

He was an expert on all types of atom splitting.

In fact you could say he is a fission-ado.

Why did the nuclear physicist miss the laboratory meeting?

Because he was gone fission.

Don't reply to nuclear reactors that say they're ugly.

They're just fission for compliments.

What do you call a seafood restaurant that generates its own power?

A fission-chips shop.

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