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Nasal Jokes

you know what they say about elephants with nasally voices

They got a lot of junk in the trunk

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I know about oral and ... but... nasal ?

knows.

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What infection can you get for having nasal ?

Sniffilis

There is a mysterious blockage high up in my nasal cavity...

...I would like to figure out what it is, but I just can't put my finger on it.

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now comes in a nasal spray.

It's for heads.

I set up a production business for oils that clear up colds and nasal blockages.

An olfactory oil factory

How can you ingest alcohol nasally?

Punch line

What did the man who blamed his nasal congestion on the federal reserve do in response?

Sudafed

Pill commercials nowadays be like

“After just one use, derpatine fixed my knee pain and I can run again!”

“Consult a doctor if you’re experiencing any headaches, nausea, muscle pain, blurry vision, nasal congestion, loss of sight, kidney failure, hernia, heart attacks, strokes or knee pain after using derpatine”

You call it a nose ring,

I call it Nasal Drip.

I heard my buddy talking with a blocked nose and he seemed to be in pain

I asked him "What's wrong with your nose?"
He said "I got a seenus problem", with a nasally voice.
I said, "Sinus. You mean sinus?"
He said "No, seenus. I was bangin' this chick and her husband came home and he seen us."

I got some really cool clothing for my tonsils

Now I have post-nasal drip

After rewatching Doctor Strange use the Eye of Agamotto

I thought that it would be a good idea to list other lesser known, possibly not as powerful, Eye Relics for those who may not know of their existence.

The Eye of Hellomoto: Helps improve Motorola phone reception.

The Eye of Pickamoco: Aids in clearing the nasal cavity of any sorcerer...

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Ornithology

This joke was told to me by an older man that is a retired engineer.

>Back in the 60's when I was in engineering school, I needed an easy filler class. I was already loaded down with calculus, physics, and engineering classes, so when I saw Ornithology, I decided to sign up. It only met 1 ...

An English businesswoman explained to her doctor that she was always breaking wind.

At board meetings, during interviews,in lifts and on trams -- it was impossible to control. "But at least I'm fortunate in two respects," she told her doctor. "They neither smell nor make a noise. In fact, you'll be surprised to know I've let two go since I've been talking to you."
The doctor rea...

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Jeff the Bellboy

Three couples got married and spent their honeymoons at the same hotel, where they were all attended to by Jeff the Bellboy.

The first man married a nurse.

Jeff showed them to their room, all the while thinking to himself, "Lucky guy! Nurses are known to be hot to trot."

The ...

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Holy !

The neighbors had been complaining that my dogs had been barking non-stop. I hate the electric zapping bark collars so I purchased a humane citronella collar. When a dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose and apparently they don't like it.

This evening I was getting the c...

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The Gym (at 40) - Try and read this without laughing out loud!

Dear Diary

For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since playing football 24 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

Called ...
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