Mp Jokes

Interview Start...

>> MP&HR Officer <<
........................................

HR : what is your name?

Mike : MP sir

HR : In full please...

Mike : Michael Phang

HR : your father's name?

Mike : MP sir

HR : what does that mean... read more

He's not sick. I just think he can do better.

A Baptist preacher and a Methodist preacher lived in a small town.

Being quite young ministers, they rode their bicycles to the town’s only service station every Sunday morning to eat breakfast and discuss their sermons before riding off to preach to their respective congregations.

On... read more

The sergeant major points to the chaplain, he says to the E2 newly enlisted Military Police officer, see that chaplain over there? Yes, said the MP. The sergeant major said "arrest him, hes wearing headphones at post". The mp puts the chaplain in cuffs and reads him his rights before stopping and st... read more

It’s a slightly disappointing end to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.

While walking down the street one day a Member of Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and dies.


His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.


'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter.


'Before you settle in, it seems there is a pro... read more

An anti-inflamaTory.

A Russian spy is in the UK trying to dig up dirt on an MP.

He walks into a pub, sits next to the MP and orders a drink. He tries to start up a conversation but the MP says he knows he's a spy.

"Of course I'm not a spy, I can sing the whole British anthem", he then sings every verse per... read more

Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later.”

The nun agreed…

A moment later two MP’s ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”

The nun replied, “He went that way.”

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from und... read more

To find the spy, they put a can of Guinness at each soldier's bed during the night, the second morning, the Russian who drank the canned Guinness is then arrested.

The other barracks received the same report and try to do the same, they left a bottle of vodka by the bed of every soldier, the ... read more

He spots a Nun and says, "Sister, Sister. Please let me hide inside your habit! I'll explain why later."

The sister nods an okay and the soldier hides. The MP gets there and asked the Nun if she saw a soldier pass by.

The Nun, in a nervous and squeaky voice says, "Yes! He went that way... read more

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there w... read more

He doesn't believe in putting his hand up another man's ass

Late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base.

They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot’s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted t... read more

A Tory MP woke up in hospital after a serious operation and found that the curtains around him were drawn. He called for a nurse and asked "why are the curtains closed, Is it night"?
The nurse replied "No it's just that there's a fire across the street and we didn't want you to think the operat... read more

the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."


Making a mental note to complain to my local MP about this running amok,over-enthusiastic security rubbish, I did just as she had instructed....
After the shrieking and hysterical remarks finally subsided, I found out that she was referrin... read more

The name should be changed, the MP argued, on the ground that mass is a Catholic terms that Britons, being largely Protestant, should not use. But another member, it is related, rose to object to the argument. Christmas, he declared, might not want its name changed. "How would you like it," he asked... read more

...and he didn't carrot all

Synthesis of these two jokes: [Joke 1](http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/30/80/82/308082e606bbe01cf521a44fc1d1facf.jpg) and [Joke 2](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-enq7MUsd8sQ/Usw-7DQ-oSI/AAAAAAAAW8A/Q_mMpU7km5Y/s1600/carrot+all.jpg)

He's truncated.

My 8 year old son told me that joke this morning. He didn't know what truncate meant, he just replaced the mp sound of trumpet with the nk sound, and said trunket. He'll make a good dad some day.

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view m... read more