UPJOKE
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Messier Jokes

Three men arrive simultaneously at the Pearly Gates.

They are greeted by St. Peter, who tells them, "Welcome! Before you can enter heaven, you must be circumcised, and I can see that none of you are. The standard procedure these days is that we remove your foreskin using whatever method your father used to make a living."
To the first guy, he says...

The supermassive black hole in the core of the Messier 87 galaxy measures 40 billion km across, three million times the size of the Earth, and has a mass 6.5 billion times that of the Sun.

Almost as big as your mom.

A penguin has car trouble

A penguin’s driving down the highway when his engine starts sputtering and smoking. He gets off at the next exit and finds the nearest garage. The penguin proceeds to tell the mechanic what happened and the mechanic says “Give me 10 minutes to look at it to see if I can find the problem.”

The...

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