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Stressful Jokes

For the first time in history, a US president haven't grown old, gray haired and tired by the stressful tasks of his presidency ...

... Instead everyone else did.

The Covid19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

Becoming a dad is stressful.

One day a man walked into a bar;
Bartender: "hello mate, what can I get you? You look quite tense!"
Man: "beer please, my wife is giving birth, she's had one but the doctors say there's more on the way and to keep myself occupied!"

An hour passes so the man uses the public phone in the ...

Life on Earth is pretty stressful.

We are all under a lot of pressure atm.

A guy walks into a bar after a stressful day at work and gets a beer for himself

As he sits there, alone in the bar, he hears a high-pitched voice say, "That shirt looks great on you!”
The man looks around, doesn’t see anyone, and returns to his drink thinking nothing more of it. But then, a moment later, the voice returns, this time offering, “You seem like a really cool guy...

Levels of stress.

1) You pick up a hitchhiker, A beautiful young girl. Suddenly she faints inside your car. You take her to the hospital.

-Stressful

2) But hospital says she is pregnant and you are going to be a father. You swiftly say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are!!

-Ver...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having sex whilst camping is stressful

It's fuckingintents

This pandemic has been particularly stressful for flat earthers..

A lot of them are worried it's going to push people over the edge

Working at the unemployment office is extremely stressful

Even when you get fired you still have to come into work the next day.

What does a webpage do after a stressful day?

Refresh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife has been cheating on me and in hindsight I should have seen it coming

For the past couple months we'd barely talked at all. Our jobs had been super stressful and it made things tense. When she'd ask how my day was, I'd tersely reply "it sucked" or "you don't want to know."

When I asked her how her day had been she'd say "They fucked me at work again"

2 people are talking after something stressful happens...

Guy 1: "Describe how you are feeling in 1 word."

Guy 2: "Good."

Guy 1: "Describe how you are feeling in 2 words."

Guy 2: "Not good."

With how crazy stressful running the US is;

It's amazing Putin has time for Russia.

Being the President is seriously stressful.

Kennedy lost his mind!

Copy-editing is a very stressful line of work

Every time one of us misses a period, we get really nervous.

Parenting is stressful! Parenting is a sacrifice, it’s exhausting, it’s expensive and at times it feels thankless but….

Eventually you die! -Jim Gaffigan

Being A Valkyrie would be stressful as all hell:

Everyone would be dying to meet you

Camping as a couple is stressful...

...it's two in tents.

After a stressful day, one man comes home and sits in his backyard, drinking a beer.

As he's getting up to get a snack, he stops and asks, "Jesus, what is the
meaning of life?"

To which Jesus replies, "You slave in the sun to support the ones you love.
You make money so you can buy things for your family to keep them happy."

The man asks, "Jesus, why is life so h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was just offered a stressful job being a tester for super strength Viagra.

I’m thinking of taking it. How hard can it be?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist says my job is too stressful and driven by competition, so she recommended meditation.

I think I'm a natural talent. I finished my first 5 minute meditation in under 2 minutes 49 seconds.

Half an year ago, a middle-aged man, walking home after a long and stressful day of work, found an old, crusty lamp in an abandoned alley.

"What harm could it do," he said out loud, and gave it a rub.

A genie emerged, exclaiming, “All behold, I, the most powerful genie!! My might is unparalleled, my power is incomprehensible, and I shall grant you 3 wishes for freeing me from my prison...”

"I am a simple man with a simpl...

A woman goes on a business trip overseas, leaving her husband behind to look after the house and kids.

After a few days she calls up to see how everything is.

"Everything's fine" he says. "The kids are finally sleeping OK without you here, and my boss has given me an extra week off until you're back. Oh! I forgot to say, the cat's dead! She was hit by a car!"

"What!?" Says the wife. "A...

I got home after a stressful and demotivating day to find my wife moving my whisky collection up to a high shelf.

I can always rely on her to lift my spirits.

I love to pamper my girlfriend after she's had a stressful day at work.

I get her to text me when she's leaving so I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so that, the moment she walks through the door, the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.

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