A professor gives an IT student, a law student and a medical student a phone book to memorize

The IT student creates a program that does it for him, the law student asks whether the assignment is legal and the medical student asks „When is it due?“

A professor asks a math student, an engineering student and a medical student what 2+2=...

A professor asked a math student, an engineering student and a medical student, "What is two plus two?"

The math student excitedly states: "That is a solvable problem. The set of integers is a closed system under addition. Two is an integer, so the sum of 2 and 2 must also be an integer. Supp...

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A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes

getting a little practice in before the final exams. He went over to a table where a body was lying face down. He removed the sheet over the body and to his surprise he found a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring this was fairly unusual, he pulled the cork out, and to his surprise, music began pla...

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So there's this pathologist who's just walked into the morgue with his medical students

They walk over to a cadaver that's just arrived that morning.

"Please observe the following" he says. He takes his index finger and shoves it up the anus of the cadaver, pulls it out and sucks on his finger. "Now you all try" he says as each student puts their index finger up the anus and li...

What do you call a Medical student who finishes last in their class?

Doctor

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Two medical students were

walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. Th...

During his exam, a medical student had to perform a surgery on a patient.

One of them passed.

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A group of first-year medical students is gathered around an operating table for their first anatomy lesson with a dead body.

“As a doctor, you’ll need to develop two key skills,” the professor begins. “The first is stoicism. You can’t be disgusted by anything involving the human body.” The professor then rolls the body over, sticks his finger into the corpse’s butt, withdraws it and sticks his finger in his mouth. “Now do...

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A medical student decided to study sexual dysfunction as his speciality.....

On his first day in the hospital, the chief doctor decided to show him around and to start teaching his new student about this area of medicine. As part of the training, the chief doctor decided to bring the student around to all the patients in his wing so the student could see firsthand some of th...

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A doctor presents some medical students with a cadaver

A doctor presents some medical students with a corpse. He tells them 'It is important to be comfortable with the cadaver'.

He briefly inserts his finger into the naked corpse's anus. He then licks his finger. He instructs the students to do the same. One by one they reluctantly do the same....

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Medical Students

A group of first year medicals students are attending their first class. An eccentric looking lecturer walk in and says: "An important thing in medicine, is not to be fazed by what seems disgusting to the general public. Allow me to demonstrate" The lecturer brings a cadaver into the lecture theatre...

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New medical students

A group of doctors in training and their teacher are standing in a circle in the lab around a cadaver. The teacher tells his students:

"it's very important that you feel completely at ease with the corpse", so he puts his finger up the ass of the corpse, takes it out and licks it. "Your turn...

Two medical students are about to witness an autopsy for the first time...

One asks the other, "What do you think it'll be like?"

The other student shrugs and says, "Remains to be seen".

What did the blonde medical student die from?

An aneurysm.

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"Involuntary Muscular Contractions"





A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions"to his first year medical students.Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.



He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, ...

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This one is from a famous comedian in my country

Two medical students notice an old man in the sidewalk. The old man has a hand in his hat, another in his butt and is having trouble walking. One student says to the other:

\- You see that? That is a clear case of Polio.

\- Nah, that is definitely femoral dysplasia.

The students...

It annoys me when Engineering students call themselves Engineers...

You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors, or art students calling themselves unemployed.

An engineering professor is ranting to his class one day

He says "I hate when engineering students call themselves 'engineers', you don't hear medical students calling themselves 'doctors', or art students calling themselves 'unemployed'

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A man passes out while swimming in a river.

A group of people surround the riverbank where the young man was floating.

Then, a cocky medical student pushes through the crowd, dives into the river and pulls the man half out.

He then starts performing CPR on the man, with every chest compression water comes out of the man's mouth....

Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is 2 * 2 ?"

The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it's old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces "3.99".

The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces "it lies between 3.98 and 4.02".

The mathematician cogitates for a whi...

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Dads favorite medical school joke.

Medical students were attending their 1st biochemistry class. They all gathered around the Lab table with a urine sample. The professor dip his finger in urine & tasted it in his own mouth.  Then he asked the students to do the same. The students hesitated for several minutes, but at last every...

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A man hasn't pooped in 3 days...

...so he goes to the doctor. The doctor walks into the exam room shadowed by a medical student. After the man describes his symptoms, the doctor says,

"Well, you're constipated."

The medical student says, "No shit."

The doctor replies, "Don't insult the man, I'm sure he knows w...

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(NSFW) The Anatomy Class

Some medical students attends an anatomy class and today's subject is involuntary muscle contractions. The professor tries to lighten the mood in the class by asking:


"Do you know what your asshole is doing, while you are orgasming?"


-“Yes”, says one of the female students, “He...

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First-year med-students in their first anatomy class...

It is the first day of medical school, and the doctor in charge of the new class has all the new students gather in the main lecture hall for the orientation. Taking his place in front of the group, he starts his speech.

"In order to succeed in the world of medicine, you must first master two...

One day, a boy was walking down a road when a frog called to him, “Boy, if you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess.”

The boy picked up the frog, smiled at it, then placed the frog into his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog said, “Boy, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I will stay with you for a week.”


The boy took the frog from his pocket, smiled at it, then put it back ...

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