Putin

It was in the news recently that Putin was visiting a school in Moscow to promote the nations power on the world wide stage.
The children were allowed to ask questions before lunch.

Little Alina speaks up and says to Putin...

“I have two questions”

“Why did Russia take Crim...

What are some pros for Ukraine after loosing Crimea to Russia?

Theres no Crimea in Ukraine

Vladimir Putin visits a primary school one day

And he gives a lecture about how great the government is, and how Russia is the best country in the world.
At the end of the lecture he invites people to ask questions and one kid stands up and says
“Hello my name is Sasha and I have two questions”
Putin: “go ahead”
Sasha: “Why did Russi...

What's the least sympathetic body of water?

The Crimea River

Putin visiting Crimea

Frontier guard: Name?
Putin: Vladimir Putin
Frontier guard: occupation?
Putin: yes

What flows through Ukraine and doesn't care about your feelings?

Crimea River

Roosevelt, Churchill, and Stalin are riding in a car in Crimea when suddenly they see a big bull blocking the road.

Roosevelt gets out of the car and asked the bull to move, but the bull doesn't move. Churchill began to plead with the bull to move over, but the bull pays zero attention. Finally, Stalin walks over to the bull and whispers something in its ear, after which the bull sprints off into the distance. In...

The big questions

VLADIMIR Putin, wanting to get on the good side of voters, goes to visit a school in Moscow to have a chat with the kids. He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wants the best for the people.

At the end of the talk, there is a section for questions, so Little Sasha ...

What did Putin say to Obama when Russia annexed Crimea?

Crimea river.

How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

Justin Timberlake is bad at geography

He sings this song, "Crimea River", but I checked, and Crimea is a peninsula, not a river.

What did Putin say to NATO in response to being criticized for annexing parts of Ukraine?

'Oh, Crimea river.'

A Russian walks into a bar in Lviv.

“Can I have a beer?” he asks the bartender.
“Sure. It's 100 Hryvni,” replies the barkeep.
“But it was usually 50...”
“Yes, but now it's 50 for the beer and 50 for the occupation of Crimea & the Donbas.”

The Russian frowns, but gives the bartender 100 Hryvni. The waiter takes it, ...

Trump is reportedly upset that the Ukraine just elected a comedian as president.

Oh, Crimea river!

Russia: Hey Ukraine, wanna hear a joke?

Ukraine: Sure!

Russia: Crimea.

Ukraine: I don't get it.

Russia: You will never get it.

Misunderstood JT

In the early 2000s Justin Timberlake did a tour in Eastern Europe and had a stop in southern Ukraine.

After playing a show in Sevastopol he had some down time so he travelled the countryside, and was amazed by the stunning beauty of the peninsula's nature and wildlife. He backpacked through ...

In 2002 Justin Timberlake made a hit song about Eastern European waterways.

It specifically talks about a river in Crimea.

(edit: I originally got my Justins mixed up, thanks for the comments :) )

Vladimir Putin shows up in one of the Moscow's primary schools

After the welcoming ceremony there is some time for the students to ask the President a few questions

Little Sasha stands up and says:

I only have 2 questions:

1. Why did Russia take over the Crimea?

2. What are Russian soldiers doing in Ukraine?

Before Putin was a...

What's Putins favorite song to play for Ukraine.

Crimea-River

Bought a Russian car...

The salesman said it was the krem de la kremlin, but every time it's putin gear, it keeps stalin. My wife said, "Crimea river, I'm not lenin you my car!"

What did Putin tell the Ukranian government when he invaded western Ukraine?

Crimea river.

Where do unsympathetic Ukrainians come from?

The Crimea River

Trump calls Putin on the phone

Trump says, "You need to stop annexing territory in Ukraine"

Putin responds, "Crimea river"

What's Justin Timberlakes favorite part of Eastern Europe?

The Crimea River.

What did Stalin say to all the thousands of people he killed?

Crimea river

So apparently Justin Timberlake is going to write a song for all the people that have been devastated by the crisis in Ukraine.

It's going to be called 'Crimea River'.

What's the current number one song in Russia?

Crimea river

What did the peninsula say before it was split in half by a flowing mass of water?

Crimea River

A man walks into a bar in Russia.

A man walks into a bar in Russia.
"Can I have one beer?" - he asks the barman.
"That will be two hundred rubles," - says the barman.
""What? It was one hundred yesterday!" - says the man.
"Well, you see, it is one hundred for a beer and now you have to add a hundred for Crimea,"-...

Top UN officials asked Vladimir Putin to stop annexing countries

He responded: Oh go Crimea river

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