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Mary Had A Little Lamb Jokes

Alternative nursery rhymes

Mary had a little lamb, her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, between two chunks of bread.

What happened when Mary had a little lamb?

The doctor fainted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mary had a little lamb, It ran into a pylon.

10,000 volts went up its arse,

And turned its wool to nylon.

When Mary had a little lamb, The doctor was surprised.

But when Old MacDonald had a farm, The doctor nearly died.

Mary had a little lamb...

Her gynecologist fainted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny

The third-grade teacher was teaching English and repeated for her class:



"Mary had a little lamb,
Whose fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go."



She explained this was an example of poetry, but could be changed...

I met this girl Mary on tinder and took her to an all you can eat buffet I knew it wasn't going to work out when she told me she was a vegetarian so I decided to go down with guns blazing.

She came back with her salad to find me with my plate loaded up with every type of meat I could get my hands on.

I was shocked, though pleasantly surprised, when she asked for a bite of my kabab.

Mary had a little lamb.

If Mary gave birth to Jesus and Jesus was the lamb of God....

.....does that mean, Mary had a little lamb?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some amended Nursery Rhymes

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you dick...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Research has shown that sheep have vaginas almost similar to women

Is that why Mary had a little lamb?

Took my wife Mary out to a fancy restaurant last night. I had the filet mignon...

Mary had a little lamb.

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