How does Marilyn Manson know who's at the front door?

The beautiful peephole, the beautiful peephole.

Jackie: John, did you sleep with Marilyn Monroe?

JFK: I had to Jackie. Not because she was easy, but because I was hard

Marilyn Monroe suggests to Albert Einstein : "If you and I were to marry, our kids will be the smartest and most beautiful in all the world."

Einstein: "What if they get my looks and your brain?"

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What do Adam and Marilyn Manson have in common?

They both gave up a rib to get a blowjob

What did JFK say before going to visit Marilyn Monroe?

I choose to go to Marilyn's hotel room this night and do the naughty things,
not because she is easy, but because I am hard.

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What did JFK say to Marilyn Monroe when she accused him of using her for sex?

“Marilyn, I’m taking you to bed not because you are easy, but because I am hard.”

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What's the difference between a Redditor, Marilyn Monroe, Melania Trump, and Lee Harvey Oswald?

One's a jerk who jacks off, one jerked off Jack, one jacks off a jerk, and one's a jerk who offed Jack .

Every girl's a bit of Marilyn...

But some of them got more from Manson.

3 Nuns were involved in a motor accident.

3 Nuns were involved in a motor accident. They died and went to heaven. At st. Peters gate, they were told it wasn't their time to die, so they will be sent back to earth. As a reward for their good earthly deeds they will allowed to go back to earth as whom they want regardless of timeline.
1st ...

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

What does Marilyn Quayle have in common with Marion Barry?

They've both been known to blow a little dope.

What did JFK say after banging Marilyn Monroe?

"Some men have greatness thrust upon them, some men thrust upon greatness."

New Year’s Eve

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local bar and said that it was time to get ready.

At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck 12, the bar...

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Way ahead of you Dave

Dave woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.


Dave: "Marilyn, te...

Three Nuns

One Friday, there were 3 nuns riding on a mountain road. They were coming around a turn when a semi rammed into them head on killing them instantly. They were coming to the gates of heaven and noticed a sign that said "Closed for Remodeling".
One nun knocked on the gates and out came St. Peter. H...

There are some eerie similarities between the assassinations of President Lincoln and Kennedy...

Lincoln was elected into Congress in 1846.
JFK was elected into Congress in 1946.

Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
JFK was elected President in 1960.

Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy.
Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln.

A week before ...

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Eric is in Hospital

Who the hell is Eric ?

Well,Eric is the geezer who got home late one night:
Marilyn his wife was waiting for him with ....
"Where the hell have you been?"
Eric replies "I was getting a tattoo!"

"A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred quid note tatt...

[NSFW]A more honest retelling of John F. Kennedy's famous quote on lunar exploration.

"We choose to go to the moon, and Marilyn Monroe's bedroom, because it is easy and because I am hard."

JFK - 1961.

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A man and woman get married

The next day they're talking to the neighbor. "So, who'd you put on your list?" The neighbor asked. Confused, the wife says "what list?" "Oh you know, the list of who you can still have sex with if ever given the opportunity, mine consists of Raquel Welch and Marilyn Monroe." Intrigued, the wife...

I had a dream.

Last night I had a dream. I dreamed that Hugh Hefner, publisher of Playboy died and went to Hell. He was trapped in a small room with no doors or windows with an unattractive, hateful woman. A voice boomed out from nowhere and said: "Hugh Hefner, for your sins in life you shall spend eternity wit...

In other news....

We now have the most attractive First Lady since Marilyn Monroe.

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