Ben has one dog. Jake has two fish. How many fish are there?

Three. Ben’s dog was just a red herring

Guess how many fish I got from the market?

Tuna half.

Why do so many fish live in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

Man catches too many fish

I went fishing and I was as on one side of the river the other man was on the opposite. First day he caught huge fish and plenty of them, yet I caught nothing. Second day comes and I take the side the other man was on in hopes of finding his catches yet he takes the opposite of me again. Yet he some...

Fish tank

my friend told me they just got a new fish tank. They hadn’t gotten many fish yet, so it was still in the betta stage.

Why did the shark quit dating_

Even though there are still many fish in the sea, he was netted into a relationship and got catfished.

Girlfriends and fishing are similar

There are many fish in the sea, but till you hook one, you're just holding your rod.

Paddy and Mick are fishing

.. and they're not catching anything.
As they're about to give up for the day past them walk two Englishmen with huge baskets of freshly caught fish.


"BEJEYZUS!" Paddy exclaims, "How on Eart did ya catch soo many fish?"
The Englishmen explain that it's a life-hack they've been...

A tourist drives along the shore of the Dead Sea and spots a fisherman casting his fishing rod into the water.

The tourist, surprised, stops and explains to the fisherman that no fish can live in the Dead Sea.

The fisherman said “Yes, some do.   For $10, you may sit next to me and I will show you.”

The curious tourist paid the $10 and waited patiently. After an hour, the tourist said: “hey, whe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman contacts her brother-in-law last minute to ask him to watch her daughter for the day...

The brother-in-law, Tim, grudgingly agrees. He picks the girl up and takes her down to the shoreline where he works.

"Do you know what I do for a living?"

She nods. "You're a fisherman, right?"

"Well, kind of. See, we get a lot of fish around here, and in order to catch as ma...

Old man and fishing

Yesterday I watched an old man fishing in a puddle outside our neighborhood bar. So I invited him in and bought him a beer..I thought I would humor the old man and ask him how many fish had he caught today. The old man replied, "you're the eighth."

My grandpa used to take me ice fishing

We never got to spend too much time together, so it meant a lot to me to spend time with him. He was really getting on in age - his teeth were gone and he usually mumbled unless he was frustrated. You could understand him if he yelled, but that was rare since he was such a gentle soul. His mind w...

Never Be Dishonest With Smart Women

Man on telephone talking to his wife: "Dear, I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my manager for seven days. I think that this is a positive and great opportunity for me to get that promotion finally.
So honey, will you be able to please pack enough clothes for seven days, my toiletry bag ...

Bag limit.

A guy was on his boat fishing in a pond and caught way over the bag limit. He was heading back to the dock when the game warden stopped him and asked to check what he caught. The warden opens the fishermen's cooler and sees that the guy has surpassed his limit by about 20 fish. The warden tells the ...

Bubba and the game warden

Bubba always came back from fishing with a lot of fish. The game warden saw him one day and asked how he caught so many. Bubba invited him to fish the next day and the warden said yes.

Once they get to the fishing spot, Bubba takes out a stick of dynamite, lights it, throws it in the water, a...

The old man, the prince, and the fish.

Once upon a time, there was a prince of a certain land, who wanted to be a lowly fisherman when he grew up. But try as he could, he couldn't ever catch a single fish. He had tried many methods, including nets, spears, and traps, but all to no avail.

Furthermore, he was looked down upon by the...

Newfoundland Fishermen

A Newfie Fishermen had no luck, and caught nothing, but saw his Fisherman friend had better luck he was carrying a bag of fish. He said to his friend "If i guess how many fish you have in that bag will you give me one of them?" His buddy who had the bag of fish says "If you guess how many fish I ha...

There is an isolated indigenous tribe that lives in the Amazon.

What's interesting about them is that in their language they only have words for numbers 1 and 2, and every number higher than 2 is just 'many'. You have 3 kids? You have many kids, You caught 20 fish? You caught many fish.

I guess trying to come up with words for three numbers was just one t...

A young man wishes to purchase a fish

So he approaches the town fisherman at the market. With his pockets full of cash, he can't wait to buy a delectable salmon from the highly recommended old man.

The fisherman sees the young man approaching and asks what he can do for him.

The young man holds out a handful of bills and ...

My girlfriend broke up with me because I'm too much of an environmentalist...

Oh well, not many fish left in the sea

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