What does the MacBook have in common with Donald Trump?

I would tell you....

But I don't compare apples to oranges.

Why do astronauts use Macbooks?

Because you can't open Windows on the International Space Station.

An old lady walks into an Apple store with a dripping wet MacBook in hand.

She finds an employee and tells him that her MacBook wouldn’t turn on after she cleaned it. The employee looks at the MacBook and sees that it’s soaking wet.

“Ma’am did you wash it with water?” He asks.

“Yes but I don’t think that’s what killed it.” Replied the old lady.

“Than w...

Why don’t MacBooks sing?

Because you need A Dell.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went into the Apple store to get a new MacBook for my wife.

Bastards wouldn't do the deal, and said they prefered cash.

I spilled coffee all over my Macbook...

...now it won't go to sleep.

TIL if you buy the new MacBook Pro

There is no escape.

Using a macbook is like making love to a woman

There are so many things to do with your fingers, but none of them work.

Why did the pirate update his Macbook?

His matey told him he needed an iPatch

Makes sense Apple fans would buy a MacBook candle...

...They're already used to the smell of burning synthetic materials and watching their money go up in flames.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is buying a macbook like using a high end prostitute?

Because you spend more but, at least you don't get a virus

I really hate people who brag about their expensive stuff

Sent from my iPhone 7 Plus

EDIT : had to manage as my MacBook Pro ran out of battery

A normal day at the Apple store

Me: *Walks into an Apple store.*

Apple employee: Hi, what would you like today?

Me: I got $1000 to buy anything I want.

AE: Then our iPhone XS will be perfect! You can have the power of a computer right in your pocket. You can call, text, browse, play games, and so much more!...

What laptop does an astronaut use?

Macbook. ‘Cos you can’t open windows in space. Ciao Bella ciao

After his death, Steve Jobs wakes up in Hell and asks Satan, "Why am I here?"... (It's not in bad taste.)

After his death, Steve Jobs wakes up in Hell and asks Satan, "Why am I here? Certainly I've changed the world for the better through an innovative technological revolution."

"That's quite true," says Satan. "You belong 'upstairs' and I'm only borrowing you for a few days. But see, whenever ne...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his land

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are talking about what they got their wives for Christmas...

the first man says, "i got my wife a purse and a macbook." "Why the macbook?" the other man asks. "Well thats easy, so if she doesnt like the purse she can return it online and get a new one". The other guy says, "oh i did the same thing I got my wife a ring and a bmw so if she didnt like the ring s...

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