Did you hear about the guy that escaped from a loony bin, went to the laundromat and assaulted some patrons, then ran away?

The headline in the paper read,

> Nut Screws Washers and Bolts.

Did you hear what happened at the laundromat last night?

Three clothespins held up two shirts.

Where do you go to find something you lost at a laundromat?

The washed and found

A Woman goes into a laundromat

The woman says: “I spilled salad on it.” The Worker, not hearing them, said: “Come again?”
The woman says: “No, not this time, it was salad.”

Why was the laundromat cancelled on Twitter?

For reminding people to separate whites from colors

I brought my therapy dog named “stains” to the laundromat the other day and he started to run of

So i shouted “come stains!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a prostitute and a laundromat have in common?

If you run out of time you will need more change to finish your load.

What city does the Laundromat man protect?

Clotham

So I was at the laundromat the other day

I went to the change machine to get some quarters. It took my bill but nothing came back out.

And I thought, "that doesn't make cents."

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

I saw a guy stealing candy machines out of a laundromat and yelled at him, "Why would you do that?!!"

He yelled back, "Jack nickels, son!!"

A homeless man and his wife got married in a Laundromat. Where did he take her when she wanted a divorce?

He took her to the cleaners

A man was at the laundromat

to do his laundry. He saw that it was going to take a few hours so he went to Subway to grab a bite. He was about to pay when he realized he left his wallet at the laundromat.

He went back and he saw police cars around. The man was arrested.

"Money laundering is illegal, buddy", said t...

The management at my laundromat has been having some issues lately, and as a result, have been slow on getting items back

I need my suit on Sunday so I hope they've ironed things out.

A blonde walks into a laundromat...

And says to a worker, "can you wash this shirt?"

The worker did not hear her and said "come again?"

The blonde than replies "no it is mustard this time"

Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat?

Because it was clothed.

Yo mama so fat

That when her underwear got dirty and she went to the laundromat, they told her that they don’t accept parachutes

I got up the courage to try the change machine at the laundromat today

But it must be out of order

my life is still the same







How is your mom just like a laundromat?

For a dollar in quarters she will take my load.

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A porn star comes running up to a laundromat just as it's closing, offering to trade sex so she can wash her clothes. [nsfw]

She just wanted to get one more load in.

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?

Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.

Blonde walks into a...

A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."

My girlfriend just yelled at me to "seperate the whites from the colors!"

Yeah, racist as hell. If that's the way she's going to act, she can go to the laundromat alone next time.

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Man escapes from insane asylum, and has sex with a girl in a laundry mat.

The newspaper the next day reads:

"Nut screws washers and bolts."

A man inherits a priceless coin collection...

from his deceased grandfather. One day a friend of the grandfather sees the grandson and asks him about the collection.

"Oh that? None of those coins worked in the laundromat, so I swapped each one of them for a shiny new coin at the bank." The grandson replies.

"You did what?!" The ol...

A guy escaped from the lunatic asylum.

He broke into the local laundromat, banged the female assistant and ran off.

Headline in the local newspaper next day read,

"Nut Screws Washer and Bolts”.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is in a bar when he asks the bartender where to get some action...

A man is sitting in a bar when he asks the bartender where he can get some action around here.

"Well if you go down the alley behind the laundromat there's a hooker who will blow you for 15 bucks."

The man thanks the bartender and runs out of the bar and down the dark alley to find th...

I like to do my laundry naked so that all my clothes are clean.

Unfortunately, the patrons at the laundromat don't seem to agree.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Names
===========
If Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice go out for lunch, they will call each other Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice.
If Fred, Luke, Bradley, and Jeff go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.

Eating Out
===========...

Nicknames

Three woman who were good friends would meet at the laundromat once a week to talk while washing their clothes. All of the woman were dating men named john, so one week they decided to make up nicknames to call their men so that they could tell them apart.

One of the women says, "let's name o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Odd Signs From England

Sign in a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN
THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Sign in a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING
IT BACK OR FURTHER STE...

A woman goes on a date.

It was wonderful! Though the next day, she noticed a stain on her dress. She didn't worry though, because she often went to a laundromat to get her clothes cleaned, and she had made friends with the staff there. Later, she went into the laundromat and said to the old clerk, "Hello Bob! Can you clean...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Male chauvinist pig jokes.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

Wha t are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?...

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