Laundromat Jokes

Three clothespins held up two shirts.

…I hope you grow up.

For reminding people to separate whites from colors

The washed and found

I recon a washing machine beat the snot out of a handkerchief.

The woman says: “I spilled salad on it.” The Worker, not hearing them, said: “Come again?”
The woman says: “No, not this time, it was salad.”

I went to the change machine to get some quarters. It took my bill but nothing came back out.

And I thought, "that doesn't make cents."

I feel like I’ve been taken to the cleaners

to do his laundry. He saw that it was going to take a few hours so he went to Subway to grab a bite. He was about to pay when he realized he left his wallet at the laundromat.

He went back and he saw police cars around. The man was arrested.

"Money laundering is illegal, buddy", said t... read more

Because it was clothed.

The headline in the paper read,

> Nut Screws Washers and Bolts.

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

For a dollar in quarters she will take my load.

They’re watching for ethnic cleansing.

A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."

So i shouted “come stains!”

Two old friends, Paul and Donny, run into each other at the same laundromat. Paul brings a variety of detergent while Donny doesn't.

Donny asks Paul if he could use one of his detergents and Paul gladly hands him some Tide. Unhappy with the way his clothes came out, Donny asks Paul if he had... read more

Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.

I need my suit on Sunday so I hope they've ironed things out.

But it must be out of order

my life is still the same

“Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"

“Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend "What did you do?"

“I opened a can of peas instead."

Plus it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

He took her to the cleaners

Yeah, racist as hell. If that's the way she's going to act, she can go to the laundromat alone next time.

He broke into the local laundromat, banged the female assistant and ran off.

Headline in the local newspaper next day read,

"Nut Screws Washer and Bolts”.

Unfortunately, the patrons at the laundromat don't seem to agree.

It was wonderful! Though the next day, she noticed a stain on her dress. She didn't worry though, because she often went to a laundromat to get her clothes cleaned, and she had made friends with the staff there. Later, she went into the laundromat and said to the old clerk, "Hello Bob! Can you clean... read more

from his deceased grandfather. One day a friend of the grandfather sees the grandson and asks him about the collection.

"Oh that? None of those coins worked in the laundromat, so I swapped each one of them for a shiny new coin at the bank." The grandson replies.

"You did what?!" The ol... read more

Three woman who were good friends would meet at the laundromat once a week to talk while washing their clothes. All of the woman were dating men named john, so one week they decided to make up nicknames to call their men so that they could tell them apart.

One of the women says, "let's name o... read more