His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.
A Republican and a Democrat found a magic lamp
The genie said "I will grant one wish per person". The Republican immediately jumped forward and said "I wish all Republicans and conservatives had their own planet, separate from all these libs." The genie nodded and the Republican vanished. The Democrat then asked "Are they all on their own planet...
What's the difference between a Pizza and a Lib-arts degree?
A pizza is able to feed an entire family.
What’s Ben Shapiro’s favorite game?
The worst thing about ad-libs...
Is that they are _____.
My wife was inhaling popcorn and nearly choked to death on an un-popped kernel.
I almost had to call the popcoroner.
(Real life: my wife really was eating popcorn with no breathing in between and I said “maybe slow down so you don’t choke on that. I don’t want to have to call the pop coroner”, and she abruptly started laughing and, I swear, choked on some (non-fatal). ...
Did you hear the joke about the death of the creator of Mad Libs?
I never thought ________ would happen during _______
What's the difference between a Trump interview ad-lib, and a Person of Color?
One's a tangent; the other a tan gent.
56 years ago a prophet predicted Sean Connery's death.
Instead of: I expect you to die at the ripe old age of 90 while you sleep Mr. Sean Connery.
They ad libbed: I expect you to die Mr. Bond
What do you call an angry group of Democrats that can’t finish their sentences?
What's a right winger's favourite word game?
Donald Trump really loves word games.
If you listen to his speech patterns, it’s clear that he’s playing “Mad Libs.”
A man came home from a poker game...
A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his hideous harpy of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin. "Where the hell have you been?" she asked. "You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he ad-libbed. "I've just lost you in a card game." "How did you manage to do that?" "I...
What is Ben Sharpiro's favorite dessert?
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
What you got there, boy?
A boy is walking down a country lane, past an old codger's house, carrying a roll of chicken wire.
"What you got there, boy?" asks the old man.
"Well, sir. This here's chicken wire so I'm gonna go git me some chickens", replies the youth.
"Pshaw! You're crazy son", ...