Lib Jokes - 19 Hilarious Lib Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In breaking news, Trump’s personal library has burned down.

The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist, he hadn’t even finished coloring the second one.

Edit: Wow! Thank you for all of the awards, I didn't anticipate that. Some people need to relax though. This is just a freakin' joke, not the agenda of a movement.

Also,...

What's the difference between a Pizza and a Lib-arts degree?

A pizza is able to feed an entire family.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The creator of mad libs died this week.

His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.

The worst thing about ad-libs...

Is that they are _____.

What's the difference between a Trump interview ad-lib, and a Person of Color?

One's a tangent; the other a tan gent.

What is a conservative provocatuer's favorite game?

Mad Libs

Did you hear the joke about the death of the creator of Mad Libs?

I never thought ________ would happen during _______

A Bishop and his plumber played golf

The plumber kept shooting the ball way out of bounds cursing " Goddamn it, I missed again". The bishop, annoyed, asked the plumber not to speak gods name in vain. As they moved to the next hole the plumber misses again, " Goddamn it, I missed again" The Bishop became furious. The third hole came an...

Why does the conservative agenda seem to be fill-in-the-blank these days?

Because they only care about Mad Libs!

A man came home from a poker game...

A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his hideous harpy of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin. "Where the hell have you been?" she asked.
"You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he ad-libbed. "I've just lost you in a card game." "How did you manage to do that?" "I...

Did you know Liberty Mutual customizes your home bread making experience?

You only pay for what you knead.

A Republican and a Democrat found a magic lamp

The genie said "I will grant one wish per person". The Republican immediately jumped forward and said "I wish all Republicans and conservatives had their own planet, separate from all these libs." The genie nodded and the Republican vanished. The Democrat then asked "Are they all on their own planet...

Why can't conservatives ever make good chili and barbeque?

Because they have to be liberal with their spices.

My wife was inhaling popcorn and nearly choked to death on an un-popped kernel.

I almost had to call the popcoroner.

(Real life: my wife really was eating popcorn with no breathing in between and I said “maybe slow down so you don’t choke on that. I don’t want to have to call the pop coroner”, and she abruptly started laughing and, I swear, choked on some (non-fatal). ...

56 years ago a prophet predicted Sean Connery's death.

Instead of: I expect you to die at the ripe old age of 90 while you sleep Mr. Sean Connery.

They ad libbed: I expect you to die Mr. Bond

What's a right winger's favourite word game?

Mad libs.

Donald Trump really loves word games.

If you listen to his speech patterns, it’s clear that he’s playing “Mad Libs.”

What is Ben Sharpiro's favorite dessert?

Lib-tarts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What you got there, boy?

A boy is walking down a country lane, past an old codger's house, carrying a roll of chicken wire.

"What you got there, boy?" asks the old man.

"Well, sir. This here's chicken wire so I'm gonna go git me some chickens", replies the youth.

"Pshaw! You're crazy son", ...

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