UPJOKE
toyrobotsdenmarkplaythingferrarilego grouplegolanddollmicrometretoylinetetrisikeapuzzlessandboxludo

Lego Jokes

What's the most common operation in a LEGO hospital?

Plastic surgery.

[Credits: My 11yo son invented this joke]

The Lego store near my house just reopened after lockdown...

People were lining up for blocks.

I stepped on a rusty Lego the other day...

I'm worried I might have contracted Tetris.

My girlfriend has a fetish for LEGO

If you build it, she will come

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boobs are like legos

They're really for the kids, but the dads always end up playing with them

Someone keeps dropping off random Lego blocks in front of my door every morning.

I …don’t know what to make of it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

LEGO bricks are like boobs...

...They're designed for kids, but it's the grown-ups who have more fun with them. Oh, and it hurts when someone steps on them.

The reopening of Lego World in 2021 was a big deal.

People were lined up for blocks.

A small meteorite is reportedly headed for Lego Land

The damage is expected to be about 50 square blocks

Did you hear about the LEGO truck that crashed on the highway?

Authorities are still trying to piece everything together...

What do most legos have?

Separation anxiety

Walking and LEGO manuals are basically the same thing

There are to many steps

"What did the Lego alien say?"

"I come in pieces."



*An original joke by my 8 year old daughter.*

I'm trying so hard to create a LEGO joke.

But the pieces just won't go together.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tits are like Lego bricks.

They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Q. What do boobs and Legos have in common?

A. They were both intended for babies but adults also enjoy them.

What do legos celebrate?

They celebrate block parties

Today is the Grand Opening of the new Lego Store.

People are lined up for blocks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the Lego prostitute?

They’ve got customers lined up for blocks.

My on and off Lego girlfriend

and I have been going strong for a while now.

But the last breakup we had, I was left alone to pick up the pieces.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do legos and boobs have in common?

They are both made for kids but daddies usually play with them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what do you call a grown woman with a Lego obsession?

Legolass. And beautiful if you still want to be married.

So Little Timmy is Playing with His Legos...

...when all of a sudden his mother comes up to him. She tells him "Timmy, when your father comes home can you tell him to come to our room? Tell him it's very very important". Timmy agrees and continues to play with his legos. A couple of hours later the father comes home and Timmy runs to him and s...

Did you hear they just opened the worlds largest Lego store in Las Vegas?

People are lining up for blocks.

What did the elf say after an orc stole his Legos?

I’m Legolas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sometimes I hand a Lego to my blind friend and ask him what it says.

Apparently all Legos say “Fuck off!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL Lego porn exists

It didn't click for me.

I am a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me LEGOs for my birthday.

I don’t know what to make of it.

A gun company has been criticised after bringing out a pistol covered in Lego

The manufacturer says it's perfectly safe, unless you step on it in bare feet.

The Legos stores have finally reopened in Europe after Corona virus,

People have literally been lining up for blocks!!

What happens after you eat a LEGO?

You sh*t a brick.

What's worse to step on in the middle of the night than a lego

A landmine

So what? I have a bunch of Legos.

You wanna make something out of it?

Lego box said 5-12 years

I got it done in 2 weeks

What do you call a PC made of legos?

Bricked

What do you call a russian lego?

The Soviet Bloc

r/TheLegoMovie was banned about a month ago

I wonder what horrible things they did to get blocked.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between sex and lego?

You don't know? Then you should probably stick to lego's

I'm having trouble with my Bonnie Tyler LEGO sculpture

Every now and then it falls apart.

My wife bought me a Lego car set to build and it said +3 years in the box.

I got the last laugh, I finished it in 2.

Captain America, The Hulk, Thor, and Iron Man all get Lego sets for Christmas.

"Avengers, assemble!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is it bad to eat legos?

Because then you start shitting bricks

How do you measure a Lego minifigure's shoe size?

In square feet.

My Mother died and left me a giant tub of LEGOs.

I just don’t know what to make of it.

What do you call it when you misplace your Lego Lord of the Rings mini figures?

A Lego Legolas Loss.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between IKEA and LEGO?

Time it takes to build.

Did you hear about the kid who lost his lord of the rings LEGO set?

He was LEGO less.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] What do a woman's breasts and LEGO have in common?

They're both for the kids but the dad likes playing with them the most.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife swallowed a lego without knowing it

She shit a brick after I told her

What do Landmine and legos have in common?

Nobody picks them up when they’re done

Hey, are you the top of a Lego brick?

Because you're a stud.

Watching the first presidential debate was like watching two people who shouldn’t play with legos argue

One acted like he was under 4 years old and the other acted like he was over 99!

What does a priest and legos have in common?

They both come in small packages.

My kid is a LEGO genius. The box said 6-12 years...

... and she finished it in less than a day. That's gotta be some sort of record.

This week Lego Batman sold more tickets than the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey...

When asked to comment about this 50 Shades stated "It's okay, I like to be dominated."

Why was the Lego man sick?

He had a BLOCKED NOSE!

What was Legolas when his father took away his Legos?

Legoless.
I’ll see myself out...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I swallowed a piece of Lego the other day

I was shitting bricks.

Steal a man's wallet and he will be broke for a week

Give a man a lego passion and he will be broke for a lifetime

Businesses are starting to open up. In fact, the LEGO store is open now, but I recommend staying away for a while.

People will be lined up for blocks.

A police officer pulled over a Lego man today...

...and when the officer asked the man if he knew why he was being stopped, the Lego man responded, "I bet it's because I'm block."

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.