UPJOKE
sawfretsawpuzzlesawing machinepower sawscroll sawtoolboxchessboardspannerwrenchtangramhacksawsawtoothseesaber saw

A Blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He st...

Why did the Blonde feel so proud of herself for finishing a jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

It said 2-4 years on the box.

A blonde woman called her brunette friend. "I'm doing a jigsaw puzzle at my apartment, but it's way too hard for me!"

"What's the jigsaw supposed to be?" asks the brunette.

"According to the box," says the blonde, "it's supposed to be a rooster."

When the brunette arrives at the blonde's apartment, she looks at the puzzle pieces. Then she look at the box. Then she says to the blonde, "I'm afraid you w...

I don't want to brag, but I finished a jigsaw puzzle in 3 hours.

The box said 2 to 4 years.

I think my anime jigsaw puzzle was too simple. It was...

...One Piece

My nan was doing a jigsaw puzzle of a chicken but she said the pieces weren't right.

I said, "Nan, it's a box of Cornflakes!"

Have you ever seen a man who was murdered by a jigsaw?

They always look puzzled.

A blonde woman was trying to do a Jigsaw Puzzle

She got very frustrated that she struggling so she decided to ask her husband for help.

She said "Can you help me finish this puzzle, Its supposed to be a Bird"

Her husband replied "Put the Froot Loops back in the Cupboard"

I got a joke about jigsaws

but I can't get it together.

I saw a woman attack a man with a jigsaw.

He looked puzzled.

Strange Jigsaw Puzzle

A blonde girl decides to do a puzzle so she grabs the puzzle and pours out all the peices. She tries to put it together....After a while of trying she gets frustrated and calls her boyfriend...Her boyfriend says: Honey whats wrongThe Blonde says: Im trying to put this puzzle together but I can't do ...

My blonde friend Charlene phones me up to ask for help with her jigsaw puzzle

I said "Surely, you can manage a simple jigsaw puzzle without needing help?"
She said "No honesty, it's really hard. The pieces are quite similar. I've been working on it night and day for a week and I've got nowhere"
I said "what's the picture of?"
"She said "It's a cartoon chicken."
I ...

My wife woke me up this morning by smacking me upside the head with a thousand piece jigsaw...

"What the hell did you do that for?" I said, looking puzzled.

Jigsaw puzzle

I got my 22 year old brother a jigsaw for his birthday 2 weeks ago. He ecstatically phoned me today telling me he had just finished and that he was so proud of completing it so quickly. Confused, I asked why he was so proud if it took him 2 weeks. He replied "Because on the box is it says 2-4 years"...

3d Jigsaw on the cheap..

..bag of frozen fries, re-assemble the potatoes.

During lock-down I have mastered jigsaw puzzles.

I have just completed my first one in just over 10 and a half weeks.

I feel so proud of myself, on the box it says 5 to 6 years.

Which 80's song chorus can help you try to escape Jigsaw?

Everybody cut foot loose!

One year for my sister’s wedding anniversary, I bought my sister a jigsaw puzzle that when put together would show her wedding picture.

Little did I know that shortly after that, her marriage literally went to pieces.

The inventor of the jigsaw puzzle has died today...

...his wife is said to be in 1500 pieces!

What do you call a Peppa Pig jigsaw puzzle?

Bacon.

Three dumb blondes walk into a bar carrying a jigsaw puzzle.

They begin chanting "31 days! 31 days!" as they enter the bar. Confused, the bartender asks them what they mean.

"Well," One of them says, "the box of this puzzle said '5 to 8 years' but we finished it in 31 days!"

I have a 100-piece jigsaw puzzle that's missing three pieces.

The pessimist said, "Three pieces are missing."

The optimist said, "Ninety-seven pieces are here."

EA said, "It's a full puzzle with three DLCs yet to be purchased."

Jigsaw puzzle time record

"Honey, I made the record for solving a jigsaw puzzle" said a blonde woman to her husband

"Really? How long did it take you?" Responded the husband

"I finished in 6 months"

"That can't be a record, can it?"

"Well it said in the box, from 3 to 6 years"

A Buddhist was struggling to complete his jigsaw puzzle

He just needed to find his inner piece.

What do monks spend the most time on with jigsaw puzzles?

Inner pieces.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just completed a jigsaw of a penis in under five minutes.

I expected it to be harder.

A Russian general walks into a room to see Vladimir Putin crying at a table.

A Russian general walks into a room to see Vladimir Putin crying at a table.

"Comrade President! What is wrong?"

"I've been working on this jigsaw puzzle from America all morning, but I can't get any of the pieces to fit!"

"Da, Vlad, I see. Everything will be OK. Why don't we...

A blonde is working on a puzzle...

She calls her husband over and says, "This is the hardest jigsaw puzzle I've ever seen in my whole life!"

The husband responds, "What do you mean, honey?"

She says, "Well there's a picture of a tiger on the box, but looking at all these pieces, I don't see how in the world this is go...

A husband walks in and sees his beautiful, young blonde wife

A husband walks in and sees his beautiful, young blonde wife sitting at a table with a box and all its contents scattered about on the table top. She has a puzzled, frustrated expression on her face as she moves the pieces around.

He asks... "Honey, what are you doing?". To which she replies...

I gave my Marine buddy a gag gift.

I thought it would be funny to give him a 30 piece wooden jigsaw puzzle, intended for toddlers, as a birthday gift, but it backfired on me. Now, every time I see him, I have to listen to him brag about his puzzle skills.

"The box says 2-4 years, but I finished it in only a week and a half!"

136 days!

Three guys are celebrating in a bar.

They keep high-fiving each other and yelling, "136 days!" "136 days!"

They are so excited, the bartender can't stand it any longer.

"Hey," he says, "what are you guys celebrating?"

"We finished a jigsaw puzzle!" says one of them. <...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Blonde Logic Highlights

Blonde Logic

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter!

March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"

Apr...

Whenever I get stressed out I cut shapes out of wood with my jigsaw...

A jigsaw is a great coping mechanism.

Blond

So this blond gets a jigsaw puzzle for Christmas and she proudly posts in April "Hah I finished this in four months! The box said 2 - 4 years!!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lumberjack has sex with a witch, gets his soul trapped inside a jigsaw, and seeks revenge by ruining her cheese company

*I Came. I Saw. I Con Curd.*

A group of blondes walk into a bar

They immediately start to set up what looks like a big celebration; they order numerous pitchers of beer, then push tables together, one of them even hangs a big banner over it. As they're celebrating, the bartender notices that the banner says **"51 DAYS!"**

Curious, he walks over to the...

Since puzzle jokes are the theme of the week, here's how I first heard this one: a half-dozen blondes walk into a bar and order a pitcher of beer.

The bartender brings out a pitcher.&nbsp; The blondes pour themselves a round, raise their glasses, shout "TWENTY-SIX DAYS!", clink their glasses together and drain them.

They order another pitcher.&nbsp; The bartender brings it out.&nbsp; The blondes pour again, raise their glas...

3 idiots walk into a bar....

They all order a round of drinks and inform the bartender that they are celebrating.
The three idiots lift their glasses into the air and together they shout "53" and skull their drinks.
They continue to order drinks throughout the night and evey time they toast and yell "53"
Finally curios...

A brunette walked in to a room.

She saw her blonde friend whooping and hollering. “What’s the matter?” The brunette inquired.

“Nothing at all. I just finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” The blonde beamed.

“How long did it take you?”

“Well, the box said ‘3 to 5 Years’ but I did it in a month!”

Guy walks into a bar.

Guy walks into a bar.
The bar is empty except for a group of blonde women in the far corner chanting. "23 weeks, 23 weeks, 23 weeks"

The guy asks the barman for a beer and also asks what's all that about in the corner.

Barman says "I have no idea. They've been meeting here every af...

34 Days!!

A bartender is at the beginning of his shift, when a few blondes come in and get a table. The group begins cheering and chanting "34 Days! 34 Days!!" One after another they come up for drinks and rounds of shots for their table. Thinking nothing of it, the bartender happily obliges.

After abo...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.