Making fun of that British actor Cumberbatch's name is legally required to carry on.

There's Ben an Edict.

[OC] Justin Bieber wanted to go on vacation and not be recognised by anyone, so he totally changed his look. He even legally changed his name:

Justin Case.

I work for a company that legally changes names

A woman named Tina came in the other day and I was really impressed. I'm gonna Mary her

(it's my cake day... take er easy)

Why are women legally obliged to cook for their husbands?

Because by the Geneva convention, all prisoners need to be fed and maintained in dignified conditions.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a lady that was getting married for the eighth time.

She went to a plastic surgeon and asked if he could make her a virgin again, and if he could do it without telling anyone.
He explained to her that he could and that legally he can not tell anyone about the surgery.
She went ahead and had the surgery, but when she woke up she saw three bouquet...

A thug walks into a bar.

He sees a lone man sitting in front of his beer, crying.
He walks up to him, pushes him off the chair, slaps him left and right in the face and drinks his beer.

The man then started crying even louder and sobbing in absolute desperation.
The thug, annoyed, yelled: Why are you crying lik...

BREAKING: American Jazz musician sentenced to 12 months in prison, legally changes name

Felonious Monk will be eligible for parole in 6 months

A friend got his name legally changed from Pert.

I guess he's an expert now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to court to legally change his name.

Judge: “It says here that you want to change your name. What is your name, young man?”

“Donald J. Shit,” says the man.

Judge: “Well, I can certainly see why you want to change it. What are you hoping to change it to?”

“Larry Shit.”

If two women get legally married, and eventually end up divorced...

Which one gets 3/4s of everything?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Governor Abbot wants to build a border wall with Mexico...

So, after a period of bidding, his team shortlists a few contractors and bring them for an interview with the Governor...


First, a Mexican contractor shows up:

\- Hi, I'm going to charge 1 million dollars for each mile of wall.
\- And how come it's going to be so cheap? ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Back in the late 1800's when bananas first started gaining popularity in the United States, banana groves weren't the safest of places. There were monkeys pooping all over, porcupines, venomous spiders and snakes in the groves. This caused problems not just for the pickers, but for consumers as well

Anyway Americans started demanding that their bananas be inspected before being imported, so the banana companies started placing stickers on bunches of bananas to indicate they were safe to eat. Of course the banana companies were still cutting corners. The groves still had monkeys, porcupines, sna...

Yesterday, I legally changed my name to "Void"

Today I'm headed to the bank to cash a load of blank checks!

Why don’t penguins get legally married?

Because they’re animals and have no concept of marriage.

I'm in a room with Trump, Hillary and a gun and I'm allowed to legally shoot one of them. Whoever lives becomes president. Who do I shoot?

Myself.

Sometimes, I can't believe that the government has legally let me marry hundreds of women.

And all I had to do was get ordained.

Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia

Man: Wait I can explain everything

The Supreme Court may decide a case to allow women to legally go topless in public to be equal to men

So far, over 3 million amicus briefs in favor of the plaintiff have been offered.

Legally speaking the Trump proposition of buying the Greenland from Denmark...

is a weird borderline-case.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In Japan, people are now legally allowed to have 3 maternal guardians.

Here in the states, however, we don't get Mother 3.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know why they only sell penis enlargement pills legally?

Because they don't sell well on the black market.

Why can't women in Texas legally get tattoos?

It is the code of the west... never draw on a woman.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blind Pilot walks into the plane waiving his walking stick....

Passengers, All look at each other in disbelief.

Flight Attendant, gets on the PA and announces , "Ladies and Gentlemen as you can see the captain is legally blind, but I assure you he is one of the best pilots with over 6,000 successful flights."

Next the Co-Pilot makes his way to the...

Can you go to jail for this?

A demon enters a woman's body. During this time it makes her do horrible things. She commits multiple crimes.
A priest is finally able to free her of this demon, but legally she is still held accountable for all of her crimes.

She goes to prison and one of inmate says "I'm in for theft; ...

How many Mexicans does it take to drink legally in the US?

Twenty Juan

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, the church in my town fell on hard time recently

There wasn't hardly enough money coming in to keep the lights on. So, with the approval of the priests, the friars began selling flowers from the Church's magnificent garden. They were a hit, and soon the flower money was rolling in in droves. A few days after they start, however, Tony, the local fl...

A angry woman storms into the doctors office

dragging her nine-year-old son behind her. She goes up to the doctor and asks, "Can a nine year old legally perform an appendectomy?"

"No..." the doctor replies, frowning.

The mother turns angrily to her son. "See, what did I tell you?" She says,

"Now put it back!"

Biden has won so many times in Michigan now

he's legally required to change his name to Ohio State.

So Juan, Pablo, and Jose are all attempting to cross the border legally...

A border guard stops when he sees only one of them has the correct papers, and says
'Whoa whoa whoa there can be only Juan!'

I'll see myself out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gambler gets a notice from the IRS that he is being audited.

The gambler calls his tax attorney and they go to see the IRS agent. As they are waiting in the office, the IRS agent looks over his paperwork and says: “The reason for your lifestyle is that you have a relatively lavish lifestyle but not much income to justify it, can you tell me what you do for a ...

TIL that nobody living in my country can legally be buried in it.

It may be because they're alive

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.