UPJOKE
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My TCP/IP LAN contracted COVID-19

It should have worn its subnet mask

What do you call a gaming party set in Australia?

A LAN down under.

Four Nordic men with terrible memories took a trip.

Four Nordic men with terrible memories, Finn, Mark, Lan, and Svee, took a trip.

Together, they travelled far and wide - they sipped wine under the Eiffel tower, climbed Kilimanjaro, met elephants in Thailand, saw the Hollywood sign in California, road tripped across the US, and ended up in Ne...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Australians prefer to stream their porn on local area networks?

They come from a LAN down under.

I met an Australian guy who works in IT.

I asked, "Do you come from a LAN down under?"

My work has just hired an Australian IT expert

He comes from a LAN down under

A blonde, brunette, and redhead are on a wonderful island and suddenly god appears

God says you must say something that is true in order to stay on the island, or else you will be teleported back to the city

The redhead says”oh that’s easy, I think I am the smartest person in the entire wor-“

POOF she disappears

The brunette says “ok, I think I am the most ...

All of the cows on the farm networked all of their computers so they could stream the latest Disney film

They set up a moo LAN.

I knew a guy who worked in IT in Australia

I said "Do you come from a LAN Down Under?"

Ian had a swollen nose

One day Joe went to see his friend Ian, and noticed he had a big swollen nose.

“Whoa, what happened, lan?” he asked.

“I sniffed a brose,” Ian replied.

“What?” Joe said. “There’s no ‘b’ in rose!”

Ian replied, “There was in this one!”

Why do the Native Americans hate when white people ask to use their WiFi?

They're taking all their LAN!

New viruses

Coming to a hard drive near you, the worst computer viruses yet: AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you’re getting. MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus. Paul Revere Virus: Warns of impending hard disk attac...

What did the Italian Dictator say to those dang Allies?

Get off Mi-Lan!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Priest and a Nun go golfing...

The priest lines up his shot, adjusts his lucky cap, takes a deep breath, and swings! And misses.

"Fuck!" he shouts.

The nun is scandalized and warns the priest-'Father! Watch your language!'
The priest apologizes and decides to move onto the next hole.

He lines up his shot,...

Who is the director of the first wireless movie?

Christopher No-LAN

God said to set up a router and free Wi-Fi in the tabernacle...

...but Moses is having a little trouble finding the promised LAN.

What do kids yell at old people who are just trying to play?

GET OFF MY LAN!

How do Australians connect to the internet?

They use the LAN down under.

What do you call re-arranging the layout of your network?

LANscaping.

Compilation of short "jokes"

☐ There should be TL;DRs on Terms and Conditions

☐ I never click the top Google result if it's an advert even if it's exactly what I want

☐ The amount of battery left on my phone is proportional to how hard I've been working that day

☐ Smart watches should be able to delete your...

What is the network admin favourite lullaby?

Mary had a little LAN

Clint Eastwood should do a movie where he is a crotchety old sysadmin.

Then we could have the line: "Get off my LAN."

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