[God-awful OC] What do you call someone who lets people rent wifi signals from them?

The lanlord!

What do you call re-arranging the layout of your network?

LANscaping.

Who is the director of the first wireless movie?

Christopher No-LAN

He who controls the router...

...rules the LAN

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

1990 Grandpa: "Get off my lawn, you little brats!"

2048 Grandpa: "Get off my LAN faggots"

The new IT guy at my company is from Australia.

He comes from a LAN down under.

How do Australians connect to the internet?

They use the LAN down under.

God said to set up a router and free Wi-Fi in the tabernacle...

...but Moses is having a little trouble finding the promised LAN.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Priest and a Nun go golfing...

The priest lines up his shot, adjusts his lucky cap, takes a deep breath, and swings! And misses.

"Fuck!" he shouts.

The nun is scandalized and warns the priest-'Father! Watch your language!'
The priest apologizes and decides to move onto the next hole.

He lines up his shot,...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My neighbours had very loud sex, night after night...

I decided to rename my Wi-Fi into "I can hear you having sex".
Next night they were going on it as loud as before.
So, I checked if my network really was transmitting right.
Then I discovered my neighbours had renamed their Wi-Fi as well.
Now their LAN was called "cannot hear you...

What do kids yell at old people who are just trying to play?

GET OFF MY LAN!

Compilation of short "jokes"

☐ There should be TL;DRs on Terms and Conditions

☐ I never click the top Google result if it's an advert even if it's exactly what I want

☐ The amount of battery left on my phone is proportional to how hard I've been working that day

☐ Smart watches should be able to delete your...

Would an Australian WiFi network...

...be a LAN down under?

So I was on my way to the ATM machine and I realized I had forgotten my PIN number...

I panicked, but then I realized that it's not worth worrying about. Life is too short. We could get hit by an ICBM missile tomorrow or find out that I've tested positive for the HIV virus. So instead I got some KFC chicken, listened to some NPR radio on the way home, then read some DC comics.
...

What is the network admin favourite lullaby?

Mary had a little LAN

Puns for the elevated mind...

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath ...

Clint Eastwood should do a movie where he is a crotchety old sysadmin.

Then we could have the line: "Get off my LAN."