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Haz Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter...

Dear Ma & Pa,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6 am. But...

Where do you put toxic celebrities that just can't cut it anymore?

Haz-bins.

So this British couple adopt a German baby...

... and as it grows from a babe-in-arms, to a toddler, it never makes a sound.

As the child grows into a young boy, he stays silent and it gets to the point where his adopted parents are really worried.

As the boy gets older, he still never says a word.

Then one day, the family ...

So I was making this image...

There's this cat, and he's trying to find out how much cheese there is in a gyro. He knows its radius and length, but he asks "I can haz cheez density?"

Yeah, I know, it's not very funny.

I should probably stop using math and feta memes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm passing this on because it worked for me today. A doctor on TV said in order to have inner peace in our lives we should always finish what we started...

Since we all need more calm in our lives I looked around my house until I found things I hadn't finished.

I finished a bottle of merlot, a bottle of chardonnay, a boddle of baileys, a buttle of wum the raminder of valiuminum scriptins and a box of choclutz.....Yu haz no idr how fabuluz i fel ...

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