If you're trying to get f**ked today...

... Do your taxes 2 months early!

9 of the top 10 days to give birth fall between Sept. 9 and Sept. 20. Given that pregnancies last an average of about 38 weeks, this means many people are conceiving in December, around the holidays.

In other words, if you can't afford to give presents, get f**ked.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to the doctor..

Guy: “Doctor, whenever i have sex with my wife my dick gets stuck inside her”

Doctor: “That’s impossible”
Guy: “but Its true!! ”

The doctor doesn’t know what to do so he gives him some medicine

The guy returns the next day and tells the doctor that the medicines didn’t hel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is enjoying a nice cold beer in a bar when out of nowhere...

A clearly drunk old man walks over and says to him "Hey boy! Guess what! I saw your little sister naked! Wotcha gonna do about it pussy?"

The guy says "Nothing. Go and sit down and leave me alone."

10 minutes later the old man comes back and says "Oy young fella! I once touched your Gr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time there lived a king and his nymphomaniac queen

King wasn't into sex but the queen has the burning desire to get f**ked in a hard way. She started to release herself by having sex with all the royal guards one at a time. Few days later king got wind of this news and was furious. He drugged his queen and with help of royal surgeon he implanted her...

Man is walking through park. He sees a girl in a wheelchair crying. But never expect this!

Man is walking through park. He sees a girl in a wheelchair crying.

"What's wrong?" man asks.

"Never been kissed before" girl says.

Man kisses her and she goes home happy.

Next day man walking through same park. Sees girl in wheelchair again crying.

"What's wrong?"...

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