UPJOKE
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What is a naval destroyer?

A hula hoop with a nail in it.

U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas. The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts:

“Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "Gringo, we are invading the United States of
America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's."

The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter....

ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.

This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."

Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."

Americans: "This...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A shipwrecked Scotsman is rescued by a Royal Navy destroyer

...he is taken to the sick bay where a beautiful young nurse is waiting.

"Our Captain wanted me to tell that he is from Aberdeen and wants his countryman to be receive the best of care. How long has it been since you had a drink of Whisky?"

"Five long years my dear." The Scotsman rep...

"I am become death, destroyer of worlds."

-Oppenheimer, moments after learning he was going to have a son.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob and bill are looking over the star destroyer blueprints

"Hey bob, do we need any turrets on the bottom half of this Star Destroyer?"

"What d'you mean Bill?"

"The bottom half. It looks like we have about a dozen of these massive building-sized rotating double-barreled turrets on the top half, but pretty much nothing on the bottom half."
<...

Things you should never ask Drax the Destroyer to do for you.

Babysit

There are 280 Navy personnel on a destroyer when they leave for a cruise. Not a single one comes back....

...just 140 couples.

Why are blind people the only ones who can see Drax the Destroyer?

Because they see nothing.

My friend is obsessed with naval destroyers.

He warships them.

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