A shipwrecked Scotsman is rescued by a Royal Navy destroyer
...he is taken to the sick bay where a beautiful young nurse is waiting.
"Our Captain wanted me to tell that he is from Aberdeen and wants his countryman to be receive the best of care. How long has it been since you had a drink of Whisky?"
"Five long years my dear." The Scotsman rep...
U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas. The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts:
“Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"
One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "Gringo, we are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's."
The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter....
[Long] This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. It was released by the Canadian Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision
Canadians: Negative. Divert your course 15 degrees to the South
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy sh...
"I am become death, destroyer of worlds."
-Oppenheimer, moments after learning he was going to have a son.
My friend is obsessed with naval destroyers.
He warships them.
A Sailor is on his first day on a destroyer
and his Superior is giving him tour. They approach a room with a single 55 gallon barrel in the center of it.
“What’s this?” the young Sailor ask.
“Oooh that. Well Sailor, we are out to sea for long periods of time and we have certain needs. So anytime you get the urge you just whip it...
Things you should never ask Drax the Destroyer to do for you.
There are 280 Navy personnel on a destroyer when they leave for a cruise. Not a single one comes back....
...just 140 couples.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Why do I call my van the Pussy Destroyer?
Because cats explode when I run over them