Battleships Jokes - 12 Hilarious Battleships Jokes

Why do Norwegians have barcodes on their battleships?

So they can Scandinavian

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Why do Swedish battleships have barcodes printed on the sides?

So that when they return to port they can scandinavyin.

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All Swedish battleships have a UPC code printed on the hull.

When the ships return to port, it helps them Scandinavian.

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Why does Norway have barcodes on their battleships?

So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do prostitutes and battleships have in common

They are usually covered in semen

Two battleships were out at sea during heavy weather for several days...

The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.

Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the starboard bow."

"Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain called out.

Lo...

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I was playing battleships with my dog

I went "K 9"
He said "yes"

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I like playing Battleships because I always win

But my friends tell me it's just survivor ship bias.

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Caesar and Brutus are playing battleships.

A2, Brute?

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I just read a book about building battleships...

...it was riveting.

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Why do the 3rd Italian Navy use glass-bottomed battleships?

So they can look at the 2nd Italian Navy!
*[Sorry if you are offended]*

Edit: Grammar

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Wounded Pirate

A pirate captain sets sail with his crew determined to conquer the seas.

On the first day a crewman in the crows nest of the ship calls out, “Arrr! There be one battleship on the horizon, captain!”

The captain jumps up and excitedly yells, “Get me my red shirt!”

His first mate a...

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