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Justin Bieber Jokes

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Rihanna, Usher and Justin Bieber were walking over a bridge..........

Rihanna trips and gets her head stuck between the railings.


Without a sideways glance, Usher pulls aside her G-String and fucks her senseless.


He stands back and tells Justin, "Your turn!"


Justin burst out into tears.


"Whats wrong?", asks Usher.

...

What is 500ft wide and has no pubic hair?

What is 500 ft wide and has no pubic hair?


The first row of a Justin Bieber concert.

I feel sorry for Justin Bieber.

He's had to go to every Justin Bieber concert.

Dear Justin Bieber haters...please respect him.

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I owe my life to Justin. Last August 16,2014 I was in a coma for 4 months due to a terrible car accident.
One day my nurse turned the radio to Justin's song...
So I got up...and turned off the radio.

Did you hear Justin Bieber got a penile implant?

He will now be going by Allthewayin Beaver.

I just received an email titled $50 TO SEE JUSTIN BIEBER LIVE

I'm really the wrong person to email for these kind of ransoms.

Justin Bieber....

I have recently changed the sound of my alarm clock to "Justin Bieber - Baby". Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day, so I don't have to listen to it.

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom?

He farts

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Why doesn't Justin Bieber like Sports Authority?

Because he likes Dicks.

I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it...

...You never know when you might need a nail.

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Just for Bieber

I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic.

A carload of young, loud Justin Bieber Fans, shouting and singing , with posters of Justin Bieber new album in their hands "JB I love you" s...

I accidentally clicked on a pop-up link that said, “Free Justin Bieber tickets inside!”

Thankfully it was just a virus.

PSA: IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING, "You've won two free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!" DO NOT OPEN IT.

It contains two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert.

How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian?

Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.

Justin Bieber has said, "I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation, but people just don't understand me."

By a curious co-incidence, Kurt Cobain, contacted in a seance, said, "I felt like the Justin Bieber of my generation, so I killed myself."

Justin Bieber

The new Justin Bieber 3-D movie is amazing.

It's like you could almost reach out and punch him.

I listen to Justin Bieber when working...

White noise helps me focus.

Justin Bieber was caught hanging out around Selena Gomez's house.

Trespassito.

I've got all of Justin Biebers CDs......

...and if I can get passed his home security again I'll have all his dvds as well.

Today my friend told me he likes justin bieber. He got hit by a bus.

Now i lost my bus licence.

What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?

Nothing, Michael liked boys.

Winter is like the Justin Bieber of seasons...

It was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out, now its a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in Canada.

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If Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Justin Bieber were in an elevator with me and I only had two bullets, I would...

..wonder why I didn't bring a fucking gun!

Justin Bieber is on a game show...

He is asked the question; "what is one of the most popular pieces of clothing in India?" Bieber's mind is racing, well as fast as his mind can race, but the timer buzzes. Time is up.
Put out, Bieber cries out, "Is it too late to say sari?"

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Justin Biebers music saved my life

I was in a coma after a bad car accident and the nurse decided to start playing some Justin bieber... I woke up and turned that shit off.

[OC] Justin Bieber wanted to go on vacation and not be recognised by anyone, so he totally changed his look. He even legally changed his name:

Justin Case.

When I heard Justin Bieber has Lyme disease, I almost felt sorry for the annoying, creepy little parasite.

Can't say the same about Bieber though.

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The principal at our school once gave detention to a student for illegally downloading Justin Bieber songs online for free.

Even worse, he expelled another student who actually *paid* for his album.

James Charles, Justin Bieber, and bill gates were stranded on an island 100 miles away from shore and one by one they tried to swim off the island

First bill gates swam out 15 miles but then got tired and drowned. Next James Charles swam out 25 miles but got tired and drowned. Finally Justin Bieber swam out 50 miles and got tired and swam all the way back.

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The other day, I was chillin' at home, and all of a sudden, Justin Bieber came on the radio...

First of all, how the hell did the little bastard even get in my house?

And secondly, couldn't he have at least wiped off the radio afterwards?

Seriously, the younger generation just don't have any manners!

Sad news for music lovers today....

Justin Bieber was found in his hotel room, alive.

Sad news to share: my dad just contracted COVID, and lost his sense of taste.

He's been listening to a lot of Justin Bieber.

What do Justin Bieber and an AMD laptop have in common

The fans are going wild

So I think I have the corona virus.

One of the symptoms is a loss of taste, and for a brief moment I thought Justin Bieber was talented.

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A man is sitting in his living room when he hears: baby baby baby ohh yeah coming from his sons room.

He yells " is that Justin Bieber?!" The son yells back "No dad, its just porn!" The dad thanks God.

Between Justin Bieber, Quavo, DJ Khaled, Chance the Rapper, and Me, who is the worst rapper?

That’s a No Brainer, I’m the One.

What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common?

Both want to be real boys

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Why doesn't Justin Bieber shop at 'Sporting Goods?'

Because he likes Dick's better.

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Did you know Justin Bieber has an 8 inch cock?

Yeah, but it's up his ass and it belongs to Usher

My grandpa always said "Shoot for the stars"...

...too bad he's in jail now for trying to shoot Justin Bieber

What's the difference between a water bottle and puberty?

A water bottle has already hit Justin Bieber.

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I asked my chemo patient how she was doing as we started our visit. “Oh, I’m so excited for Saturday! I’m going with a bunch of friends to go see Justin Bieber in concert… front row!” Flabbergasted, I replied, “What?! Why would you do that? COVID is at all-time highs…

…and probably 1 in 5 people around you in that place will be transmitting with every breath they take. And all that screaming and singing!”

Cheerfully, she replied, “oh that should be no problem, right? After all, you said I have a weekend immune system!”

Canadian humour

Did you know that Justin Bieber isn't the most famous Canadian Justin. I know it sounds wierd but it's Trudeau.

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A group of friends encountered a swimming pool

Upon approaching a genie popped up and told them it was a magic pool. "Just jump in and mid-jump ask what you would like the water to turn into".

The first friend ran up to the pool, took a leap, yelled "BEER!" and what would you know? He landed in a pool full of beer!

After he got out...

A Grand Prize

I phoned my local radio station today.

When the guy answered the phone he said, "Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize."

"Wahoo!" I shouted in delight.

"It's a Maths question," he said. "Feeling...

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One of my favorite Bill Maher jokes ...

It's really no surprise that Selena Gomez got back together with Justin Bieber. If her body didn't reject a new kidney, why would it reject an old asshole?

What has 10,000 legs and 3 pubes?

A Justin Bieber concert.

How many Biebers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. There are no light bulbs in the closet.



Another one: Why is Justin Bieber so pale? Because there's no light inside the closet

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3 men walk into a The Guinness Book of world records HQ.

the first man claims he has the worlds smallest arm.

the second man claims he has the worlds smallest foot.

the third man claims he has the worlds smallest penis.

after being tested? by the Guinness Book of Records, the first man said "wow, i really have the worlds smallest arm!...

I don't know what to do with these pop-culture jokes now that they are considered to be "unfashionable"

Why is Justin Bieber's face always red after he talks to a woman?

The pepper spray usually hits him right between the eyes.
_________
What is red and orange and looks good on Justin Bieber?

Fire.
____________
Chris Brown takes a girl home from a nightclub.

She says,...

What happens every year when the Time Square Ball drops?

Justin Bieber gets jealous.

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A family of four sits down to dinner.

The son is fifteen years old and the daughter is thirteen. The mother is a school teacher and the father is an obstetrician. They say a quick prayer, and start eating.

The father starts telling his wife about an interesting new study he was reading about, suggesting a surprisingly strong corr...

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A pygmy wants to be popular

However, among his tribe, he's nothing special. He's pretty small despite his 18 years of age, he's not particularly attractive and he's a bit shy. Then, it occurs to him. He writes a letter to the Guinness Book of World Records, claiming that he has the smallest hands of any adult in the world. He ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 guys are in a cafe...

3 guys are in a cafe

one says: I've got the smallest arm of the world!

another says: I've got the smallest head of the world!

last one says: I've got the smallest dick of the world!

the 3 guys go to Guinness World Records.

first one goes first and returns happy: ...

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