UPJOKE
redtim mcgraw1989blank spaceamericansfearlesscountry musicvalentine's daythe giverfastmeanforbessingaporeshake it offour song

Taylor Swift Jokes

Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift?

Because she had bad blood !

( For all the people who can laugh at a corny Taylor Swift joke ) lol

What do Taylor Swift and Avada Kedavra have in common?

They'll leave you breathless or with a nasty scar.

I used to be addicted to quoting Taylor Swift

But I think I'm finally clean.

Does Taylor Swift wipe after going poo?

No, she just shakes it off.

PS: please share the tp everyone.

What did the three eggs say to Taylor Swift?

Omelette you finish...

Taylor Swift is dropping albums like I’m dropping pounds

Only two, but still more than anyone expected.

Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift's relationship is over after just three months because he wanted it to be more public...

I guess she wanted it to be more Loki.

What do Taylor Swift and Chinese history have in common?

They both have a Blank Space in 1989

Taylor Swift: "My reputation's never been worse, so you must like..."

Kanye: "Yo, Taylor, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you finish, but Kanye West has one of the worst reputations of all time!"

What do John Wilkes Booth and Taylor Swift have in common?

they both know how to get a crowd going

Why are Taylor Swift's songs always a hit? (WARNING POKEMON JOKE)

Because swift never misses.

What do Taylor Swift and Charlie Sheen have in common?

Bad blood.

I have an RNA joke for Taylor Swift

But I'm afraid it might get lost in the translation.

What do you call a fast clothes maker?

Taylor Swift!

Made up by my nine year old :)

Taylor Swift recently outed herself as a Redditor.

Turns out all she cares about is Karma.

My friend can make a made to measure suit in one hour.

I like to call him Taylor Swift.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe Bamboozle knows everybody (long)

Ed and his friend Joe Bamboozle were walking along. They're passing by the signs for the big Taylor Swift concert.

Ed says that he would have loved to get a ticket to the show, but the very worst seat was way out of his price range.

Joe Bamboozle said "Oh, hey, no problem. I know Tay...

Last year, Taylor Swift went on a world tour called TS 1989

That must've been an awkward stop in Beijing

Taylor Swift's new song with Chris Brown is gonna be

A real hit

Ryan Reynolds, Randall Park, Birdy, Daisy Ridley, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris Evans, Margot Robbie, Mark Ruffalo, Taylor Swift, and Donald Trump are playing Among Us.

They start by picking a color.

Trump declares he is Orange: “ I will be Orange because that’s my skin color!”

Daisy then adds, “If you wanna ridicule yourself then fine, I’ll pick blue.

Taylor Swift: “Cyan for the sky.”

Mark Ruffalo: “Hulk green, Hulk pick GREEEEEEN!”
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my friends from Beijing is a huge Taylor Swift fan and asked me to suggest an album of her..

I told him to search for T.S.1989..

haven't heard from him ever since...

In light of the recent Taylor Swift & Tom Hiddleston news. I believe they shouldn't have let slip they are dating and kept it Loki

(Joke above)

Name one thing Taylor Swift doesn't have in her purse

Her boyfriend's phone number

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven...

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone and do anything you want."

The first nun says, "I want-a to be Taylor Swift" and...

What's the difference between Taylor Swift and a stale Pepsi?

The stale Pepsi won't write a song about me after I dump it.

What's got 10,000 legs and three pubes?

A Taylor Swift concert.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Taylor swift waved at a boy yesterday

But he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.

A woman goes to the mechanic complaning of a terrible noise in her car

The mechanic looks, thinks for a second, and asks her:

"Have you tried turning your Taylor Swift playlist off?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Taylor Swift has 500 songs about blokes leaving her

and 0 songs about blowjobs.

See where I'm going with this?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear that KFC is serving a Taylor Swift special?

It consists of two long skinny legs, two small breasts, and a left wing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My car started making this whining noise...

So I took it to the shop and had the mechanic look over it. Turns out all he had to do was take the Taylor Swift album out.


Sorry if this was a repost, I took a quick browse and didn't see it anywhere.

Did you hear that all of Taylor Swift's exes are collaborating on a new album?

It's called "Maybe She's the Problem".

Why isn’t Taylor Swift a pair of congruent triangles?

Because there’s no ASS

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.