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Inoperable Jokes

They say it's inoperable...

A guy walks into a bar and orders seven shots of whiskey. The bartender lines up the seven shots and the man starts slamming them one after another. The bartender says "You sure are drinking those awfully fast."

The man responds "You'd be drinking them this fast if you had what I have." ...

A dad joke

"Dad I'm hungry."

"Hi hungry, I'm dead."

"Haha, you mean dad."

"No. I have inoperable brain cancer."

"...wha-"

"I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Young Man Went to his Doctor for a Routine Checkup

When he came in for the results, the doctor said gravely “Tom, I think you’d better sit down. I’ve got some good news and some bad news.”

“All right doc” said Tom. “Give me the bad news first.”

“You’ve got cancer,” said the doctor. “Brain cancer. It’s spreading incredibly fast, it’s t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor tells his patient he has good news and bad news.

The patient says, "hit me with the bad news first, doc."

Doctor says, "Well, you have an inoperable brain tumor. I'm sorry."

The patient, now blubbering, asks "What possible good news could you have after something like this?"

At the question, a grin spreads across the doc...

An old man goes to the doctor's

An old man goes to the doctor's because he has been feeling bad lately. The doctor does some tests on him and tells him to come back the next day for the results.

The next day the man gets his diagnosis. The doctor says: "Sir, I have bad news for you. You have inoperable cancer. The tests hav...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bad News and REALLY Bad News

Guy goes to the doctor because things don't feel right. The doctor does test after test, then re-tests and consults a colleague who agrees with the diagnosis.

He calls the patient in and says, "I'm really sorry, but all I can offer is bad news and really bad news. What would you like first?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife's been in a terrible car accident.

He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the ER and says his wife's been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the doctor. He comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.


"Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks.


"Yes sir, what's happened?...

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