Trump is incapable of maintaining an insurrection

that's what Stormy said.

Scientists confirmed today that anteaters are incapable of contracting Covid...

Apparently they're filled with anty-bodies

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Therapist: I’ve concluded that you are incapable of describing your feelings.

Patient: I can’t say that I am surprised!

My girlfriend this I'm very mature. But she thinks I'm incapable of being faithful.

My wife, on the otherhand...

My wife told me that I was incapable of describing my feelings.

I don't know how to feel about it.

Me: Dad, to be frank your years of neglect towards us has left us scarred for life and incapable of developing sincere and loving relationships

Dad: ...

Me: ...

Dad: HI FRANK!!!

My girlfriend thinks i am incapable of being faithful

My wife on the other hand has a sister i wouldnt mind if you know what i mean

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A Horse Walks into a Bar

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey fellow, why the long face?”

The horse, incapable of understanding the English language, shits all over the floor and leaves.

World's most incapable man jumps from a plane.

And misses earth.

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Homosexuals are incapable of feeling love...

... None of my dads love me

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a worm?

One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.

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The history of the middle finger

I never knew this before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory ov...

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If the Great War was a bar fight

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recomm...

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.

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In my experience women are a lot like Rubik’s Cubes.

They are incapable of achieving orgasms

A couple is going through a divorce and custody of the son comes into question.

The father presents evidence that the wife hits the poor boy whenever he misbehaves the slightest. The mother reveals evidence that the father would get belligerently drunk and use his belt on the boy.

The Judge suggests letting the boy live with his grandfather, but it turns out that almost ...

My wife said women are better at multitasking than men

So i told her to sit down and shut up.

She was incapable of doing either

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A husband and wife are in a terrible car crash

The wife walks away with some minor cuts and bruises, but the husband is in critical condition and is rushed into surgery.

After 5 or 6 hours in the waiting room, the wife sees the doctor approaching in blood-stained scrubs.

"I've got good news and bad news," he says. "Which would you ...

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because they are an extinct species, thus incapable of using the bathroom.

Court Custody

A six-year-old boy was at the center of an NYC courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regul...

Why don’t vampires feel bad about the evil things they do?

They’re incapable of reflection

(I’ll see myself out)

At the job interview

"What's your biggest strength?"

"I'm incapable of understanding criticism.”

"That sounds more like a weakness.”

"Aw, thank you.”

An old man goes on a rant

“Don’t worry honey, I’m fine. I’m just faking it, I don’t have dementia. You see, I’m just tired. Tired of the kids whining and asking for money. Tired of my doctor always telling me I need to eat healthier and exercise. Tired of all these telemarketers. Tired of our neighbors always treating me lik...

How many [not your political party] does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they are incapable of making real changes due to [thing you dislike about the opposing political party]

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A ventriloquist does a comedy show at a bar and makes a lot of jokes about blondes. A blonde lady stands up all feminazi and goes on a tirade.

"Blonde jokes are dehumanizing and offensive not only to blond people but to females like me. You are one of the reasons why we can't move up the corporate ladder and people look at us like we're dumb!

"It is unfair that you should brand blonds as intellectually incapable and dumb because we ...

"Describe yourself in three words"

"Incapable of following basic instructions and cool"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which came first: the chicken, or the egg?

Probably the chicken. The egg seems pretty incapable of having an orgasm.

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Sexual Exhaustion

An attractive young female professor announces a test that would begin the next morning. No rain checks, no make-up opportunities. Be there or get a zero.

A young man in the back raises his hand, winks at the professor and says "But what if we're incapable of taking the test tomorrow due to ...

Sam, Harry and Stuttering Joe

Sam, who wanted to impress his friends, bought a new Scooter motorcyle. Deciding he wanted to show off his new toy he drove to meet his friends Harry and Joe. Upon arriving at their usual hangout spot he was greeted by laughter by his two friends who thought a scooter was goofy looking and incapable...

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