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A hyper religious mom finds her son's condom

Mom: I can't believe this. I raise you expecting that you'd be abstinent, but now you're having sex with girls when you're a teenager?

Son: No, that's not true. I'm not even the one who used it.

Mom: Oh... Wait what?

Reddit's being overrun by an evil cabal of hyper-intelligent cow-people, and I have proof!

[remoooved]

[Long] I was working the register of a pharmacy when a woman came up to me asking for breath mints.

I pointed her to the candy aisle and told her they were about halfway down on the left.

She said that she'd been down there already, and that all of the mints had loads of sugar in them, and if she them they'd make her hyper and overly excited.

I had never heard of anyone getting too e...

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Yesterday, I got one of those extremely authentic, hyper-realistic sex dolls- and she’s so life-like it’s almost eerie!

For instance, as soon as I got her home last night she told me we should just be friends...

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My girlfriend left me because I'm hyper critical about my penis...

I guess she can't take a joke

What's the square root of a hyper cube?

A sugar cube!

I had a hyper dog called Syndrome

Every time someone came round my house he used to jump around them. Then I have to say "Down Syndrome!"

What do you call attempting to jump to light speed before checking the Hyper Drive first?

A Wookie mistake!

I have ADHD and I always think I’m sick.

My doctors call me the Hyper Hypochondriac.

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3 Guys in hell

This is the story of an engineer from intel, a guy from the pentagon, and a small skateboarder all three ended up in hell after signing a contract with the devil himself

so he says to them

\- I will give each of you a chance to go to paradise, but beware, no second chance, it's eith...

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool... (/r/AskReddit comments section liked it and I was told that you might like it, too)

*It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:*

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool.

The lifeguard asks to the class: "Does any one of you already know how to swim?"

Then the little Dimitri, all excited, an...

Bad egg jokes I thought of

1) what do you call it when you see a pretty egg?
- Egg sighting

2) what do you call it when a really annoying egg is quiet?
- Egg silent

3) what do you call it when a really hyper egg holds still?
- Egg static


4) what do you call it when an egg wonders if there is ...

TIL about the hyperactive hippopotamus with hypoglycemia

The hyper-hypo hippo.

What do you get for winning a bodybuilding contest?

A HyperTrophy

Mathematicians have found a new, advanced strand of Ebola...

called Hyper-bola


I'm sorry :(

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general knowledge quiz

Teacher: "Good morning children, each Thursday we're going to have a general knowledge quiz.

The pupil who gets the answer right can have Friday and Monday off and not come back to school until Tuesday."

Wee Jock (a typical Scottish wag) thinks, "Ya dancer. Ah'm pure dead brilliant at ...

What drives the hype train?

The hyper drive.

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