How did the T-rex feel after his first trip to the gym?

He felt Dino-sore

Do t-rex like explosions

I dont know but another dino might

I buy all my guns from a T. Rex

He's my small arms dealer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate?

Cause they're exctict

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can’t a T-Rex clap?

Because they’re extinct, dumbass.

I once met a T-rex who was working at a casino.

He said he was hiding out from the cops.

I think he was a small arms dealer.

Why didn't the T-Rex workout today?

He was dinosaur

A T-Rex and a Velociraptor are sitting in a bar

And the velociraptor points to a triceratops in the corner and says
“Why is he first to get served?”
And the T-Rex says
“Because he was herbivorous”

What do you call a Russian Tyrannosaurus Rex?

A DinoCzar!

Why couldn't T-Rex fly?

Because Di-No-Soar

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your whole day,

Anal sex makes your hole weak.










Edit: added “whole”
Props to a fellow redditor for correction. u/rex-natchez!

"Where'd you get that gun?"

"This? I got it from T-Rex"

"T-Rex?"

"Yeah he's a small arms dealer nearby"

What do you call a T-Rex that works as a croupier at a casino and sells handguns on the side?

Small arms dealer.

What did the Tyrannosaurus Rex feel when it saw the Ankylosaurus approaching?

Ankxiety

What do you call a shipment full of military issued t-rexes?

small arms

An 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with no memory and brain damage.

The doctor asked him a series of questions:
“Do you know where you are?”
“I’m at Rex Hospital.”

“What city are you in?”
“Raleigh.”

“Do you know who I am?”
“Dr. Hamilton.”

the old grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, “I hope he doesn’t ask me any more...

What do you call a sleeping Tyrannosaurus Rex?

A DynaSnore!

A popsicle stick joke that cracked me up today.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are T-Rex always angry?

Because it’s really hard for them to masturbate.

What do you get if you cross a dog and a T-rex?

A very frightened mailman.

How do you call a thin T-Rex?

Ano-Rex...

My Joke

What do you call a T-Rex in pain? A Dino-Sore

What did the T-Rex with herpes get?

Dinosores

"HEY, is that a rare T-Rex fossil leg?

"Nope, fossil arm"

Pronounced false alarm. Nobody got it last time and I think it's good.

Some think T. rex’s never clap because their arms are so short.

I think it’s because they’re extinct.

What do a T-Rex, a thot, and my pizza have in common?

They’re all meat lovers

Why did the herbivores keep their young away from the t rex

Because he was a predator

What did the T-Rex say after it fell?

Dino sore.

T-Rex ran into a girl at a vegan restaurant who said she knew him...

But T-Rex never met herbivore.

Why do T-Rex’s only sell handguns?

Because they’re small arms dealers

You either die a T. Rex

Or live long enough to become a chicken

Why don't T-rex go to war?

Because they're short on arms.

Why did the T-Rex go extinct?

He couldn't embrace change.

Three T-Rexes are walking when one of them brushes against a shiny stone.

A genie appears and grants them one wish each.

The first says
"Make a huge hunk of meat fall from the sky in front of me."
The genie clicks his finger and it happens. The first T-Rex begins eating happily.

Thinking of the possibilities the second T-Rex yells
"Make a shower ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They call me Oedipus Rex...

Caus I'm a motherfucking dinosaur.

Why did the T-Rex attack the LGBTQ parade?

It wanted to Taste the Rainbow.

Why can’t T. rex touch their toes

They are all dead

I just got fired from my job as a palaeontologist because I didn't recognise a female Stegosaurus .

In my defence I'd only ever dug up Tyrannosaurus Rex, so I'd never seen herbivore.

Toronto missed out on an opportunity to call their basketball team the torontosaurus rexes

Boo me, I deserve it

I was driving my son to pre-school and he was having fun making dinosaur sounds.

"ROAR!" he yelled.

"What dinosaur is that?" I asked.

"T Rex!"

Then he said, "HONK!"

"What dinosaur is that?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Triceratops," he said.

"Why does a Triceratops honk?"

And he said, "Because it has horns!"

A Tour Guide at a dinosaur museum is guiding around a group of people. Looking at a T-Rex he says

"This fossil is 23,000,011 years old." One of the members of the group asks out of curiosity, "Wow, how'd they find out such a specific number?" the guide replied "Well, it was 23,000,000 when I started 11 years ago."

*Source: Reader's Digest*

Why did the T-Rex family business fail?

They couldn't keep up with the orders... They were always short handed!!

Most people think that t-rexes can’t clap because they have short arms

Actually it’s because they are dead

Why couldn’t T-Rex get to second base?

Baseball wasn’t invented back then.

What's T-rex's favorite file extension?

.rar

Why was the T-Rex Cafe always hiring?

No matter what, they always seemed a bit "short handed".

What's a flower plus a t-Rex?

A squished flower!

(An original from my 5 year old)

Joke from my 10 year old niece. What do you call a sleeping T-Rex

A dinosnore

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the T-rex get fired?

Sexual Jurassment

Why does T-Rex get to play only when his teammate is in penalty box?

He only scores short-handed goals

The T-Rex waiters and waitresses at the restaurant seemed really stressed out

I guess they must have been short-handed

Why was the T-Rex forced to close shop?

It was seriously short handed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wanted to borrow a copy of Oedipus Rex, but the library told me the city had banned it.

"Banned it?" I asked.

The librarian nodded. "Yes, for inappropriate content."

I blurted out "Motherfucker!".

She calmly replied "That's exactly why.".

Why do we write T-Rex instead of Tyrannosaurus?

Because its a shorthand

Names T Rex and I can meet your needs for handheld weaponry​...

I'm kind of a big deal in the small arms trade

What do you call a T-Rex with a bomb strapped to it's chest?

Dinomite

Be careful, they call me T-Rex!

I'm unarmed and dangerous.

I think one of my friends is a T-Rex

Because whenever it's time for him to pay for drinks he can never quite reach his wallet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hated studying Oedipus Rex in high school.

That play was a real mother fucker.

Why did T-rex have to register with police?

He was a small arms dealer.

I'm very sorry, I'll show myself out.

A joke my chem teacher told my class which his 6 year old son came up with

What do only T-Rexes have?
.
.
.
.
.
.
T-Rex babies

Why can't t-rexs do push ups?

Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.

"Hey, is that a rare T-Rex fossil leg?"

"Nope, fossil arm."

Today the authorities busted the local T-Rex shop, causing a huge uproar amongst the dinosaur community

Apparently he was a small-arms dealer

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