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Rex Jokes

Why can’t T-Rex clap their hands?

Because they’re extinct.

What do you say when two T-rex break up from a relationship?

- Tyrannosaurus EX

I buy my guns from a guy called T-Rex

He’s a small arms dealer.

Where would you store a T-Rex on a submarine?

Inside the small arms locker.

A T-Rex and a Velociraptor are sitting at the bar

The Velociraptor points to a Triceratops in the corner and says "Why is he getting served first?" and the T-Rex says "because he was herbivorous"

my t-rex friend have recently opened a restaurant for medieval Knights..

For anyone interested, it's name is Dine'O Sir

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are T-Rex always angry?

Because it’s really hard for them to masturbate.

What do they call T-Rex in India?

Chai-Rex

What is the biggest problem with a fusion between a millipede and a t-rex?

Too many legs, two little arms.

Why can't the Tyrannosaurus Rex clap?

Because they're dead

A museum tour guide told his visitor group that their T-Rex skeleton was 65,000,023 years old.

When one of the visitors asked how they knew the skeleton's age so precisely, he replied that it was 65 million years old when he started working there 23 years ago.

My 8-year-old wrote a dinosaur joke

What do you get when you cross a T-Rex and a human?

A T-Rex

What do you call a Russian Tyrannosaurus Rex?

A DinoCzar!

Why was the T-Rex angry?

Because he was happy and he knew it...

Do t-rex like explosions

I dont know but another dino might

Why do T-Rex’s only sell handguns?

Because they’re small arms dealers

When a Tyrannosaurus Rex went missing from a Zoo meant for Dinosaur...

It was reported to be "**Armed & Dangerous**".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate?

Cause they're exctict

"HEY, is that a rare T-Rex fossil leg?

"Nope, fossil arm"

Pronounced false alarm. Nobody got it last time and I think it's good.

Why can’t T. rex touch their toes

They are all dead

Why don't T-rex go to war?

Because they're short on arms.

My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion.

**The doctor asked him a series of questions: “Do you know where you are?” “I’m at Rex Hospital.” “What city are you in?” “Raleigh.” “Do you know who I am?” “Dr. Hamilton.” My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, “I hope he doesn’t ask me any more questions.” “Why?” she asked. “Because all...

T-Rex ran into a girl at a vegan restaurant who said she knew him...

But T-Rex never met herbivore.

Why shouldn’t you fight a t-rex?

You’ll get jurasskicked

Why couldn't T-Rex fly?

Because Di-No-Soar

What's a flower plus a t-Rex?

A squished flower!

(An original from my 5 year old)

I once met a T-rex who was working at a casino.

He said he was hiding out from the cops.

I think he was a small arms dealer.

What did the Tyrannosaurus Rex feel when it saw the Ankylosaurus approaching?

Ankxiety

What do you call a T-Rex with a bomb strapped to it's chest?

Dinomite

What should you use to battle a t-rex?

A Dino-sword

How did the T-rex feel after his first trip to the gym?

He felt Dino-sore

What do a T-Rex, a thot, and my pizza have in common?

They’re all meat lovers

What do you call a sleeping Tyrannosaurus Rex?

A DynaSnore!

A popsicle stick joke that cracked me up today.

It was exactly five years ago today my little rex passed away. I put his lead on and took him out for his morning walk and he just dropped dead!

I loved that goldfish.

Some think T. rex’s never clap because their arms are so short.

I think it’s because they’re extinct.

You either die a T. Rex

Or live long enough to become a chicken

Why did the T-Rex family business fail?

They couldn't keep up with the orders... They were always short handed!!

Joke from my 10 year old niece. What do you call a sleeping T-Rex

A dinosnore

A Tour Guide at a dinosaur museum is guiding around a group of people. Looking at a T-Rex he says

"This fossil is 23,000,011 years old." One of the members of the group asks out of curiosity, "Wow, how'd they find out such a specific number?" the guide replied "Well, it was 23,000,000 when I started 11 years ago."

*Source: Reader's Digest*

Three T-Rexes are walking when one of them brushes against a shiny stone.

A genie appears and grants them one wish each.

The first says
"Make a huge hunk of meat fall from the sky in front of me."
The genie clicks his finger and it happens. The first T-Rex begins eating happily.

Thinking of the possibilities the second T-Rex yells
"Make a shower ...

Why did the herbivores keep their young away from the t rex

Because he was a predator

Why did the T-Rex attack the LGBTQ parade?

It wanted to Taste the Rainbow.

Why was the T-Rex Cafe always hiring?

No matter what, they always seemed a bit "short handed".

For 65 million years, the title for the most dangerous predator known to man was the T-Rex.

Now it’s R. Kelly.

Names T Rex and I can meet your needs for handheld weaponry​...

I'm kind of a big deal in the small arms trade

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the T-rex get fired?

Sexual Jurassment

Why does T-Rex get to play only when his teammate is in penalty box?

He only scores short-handed goals

What do you call a T-Rex that waits tables

A DINERsaur.

Suck it, dad.

Why couldn’t T-Rex get to second base?

Baseball wasn’t invented back then.

Why was the T-Rex forced to close shop?

It was seriously short handed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wanted to borrow a copy of Oedipus Rex, but the library told me the city had banned it.

"Banned it?" I asked.

The librarian nodded. "Yes, for inappropriate content."

I blurted out "Motherfucker!".

She calmly replied "That's exactly why.".

Why did T-rex have to register with police?

He was a small arms dealer.

I'm very sorry, I'll show myself out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They call me Oedipus Rex...

Caus I'm a motherfucking dinosaur.

The T-Rex waiters and waitresses at the restaurant seemed really stressed out

I guess they must have been short-handed

I think one of my friends is a T-Rex

Because whenever it's time for him to pay for drinks he can never quite reach his wallet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hated studying Oedipus Rex in high school.

That play was a real mother fucker.

What's the difference between Caitlyn Jenner and a 6 year old pretending to be a T-Rex?

The 6 year old never killed anyone with a car

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They had to shut down the T-Rex cloning program at the Oedipus Complex.

It was on the news this morning. Apparently, the entire staff was eaten by mother-fucking dinosaurs.

Why didn't the T-Rex cross the road?

Because he wasn't a chicken yet

What sound does a T-Rex make when it’s sleeping?

A Dino-snore

For 65million years the T-rex was the number one predator

Then came Bill Cosby

Why can a T-Rex not touch his toes?

Because he's extinct

"Hey, is that a rare T-Rex fossil leg?"

"Nope, fossil arm."

Today the authorities busted the local T-Rex shop, causing a huge uproar amongst the dinosaur community

Apparently he was a small-arms dealer

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