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Why can’t a T-Rex clap?

Because they’re extinct, dumbass.

I buy all my guns from a T. Rex

He's my small arms dealer.

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate?

Cause they're exctict

What do you call a vegan Tyrannosaurus rex?

A tree rex.

I once met a T-rex who was working at a casino.

He said he was hiding out from the cops.

I think he was a small arms dealer.

What do you call a T-Rex that works as a croupier at a casino and sells handguns on the side?

Small arms dealer.

What do you call a shipment full of military issued t-rexes?

small arms

Why didn't the T-Rex workout today?

He was dinosaur

A T-Rex and a Velociraptor are sitting in a bar

And the velociraptor points to a triceratops in the corner and says
“Why is he first to get served?”
And the T-Rex says
“Because he was herbivorous”

My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion.

**The doctor asked him a series of questions: “Do you know where you are?” “I’m at Rex Hospital.” “What city are you in?” “Raleigh.” “Do you know who I am?” “Dr. Hamilton.” My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, “I hope he doesn’t ask me any more questions.” “Why?” she asked. “Because all...

What did the Tyrannosaurus Rex feel when it saw the Ankylosaurus approaching?

Ankxiety

What do you call a sleeping Tyrannosaurus Rex?

A DynaSnore!

A popsicle stick joke that cracked me up today.

What do you call a bri'ish Dinosaur

A tea-rex

What do you get if you cross a dog and a T-rex?

A very frightened mailman.

I just got fired from my job as a palaeontologist because I didn't recognise a female Stegosaurus .

In my defence I'd only ever dug up Tyrannosaurus Rex, so I'd never seen herbivore.

I was driving my son to pre-school and he was having fun making dinosaur sounds.

"ROAR!" he yelled.

"What dinosaur is that?" I asked.

"T Rex!"

Then he said, "HONK!"

"What dinosaur is that?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Triceratops," he said.

"Why does a Triceratops honk?"

And he said, "Because it has horns!"

Some think T. rex’s never clap because their arms are so short.

I think it’s because they’re extinct.

"HEY, is that a rare T-Rex fossil leg?

"Nope, fossil arm"

Pronounced false alarm. Nobody got it last time and I think it's good.

What should you use to battle a t-rex?

A Dino-sword

What do a T-Rex, a thot, and my pizza have in common?

They’re all meat lovers

Why did the herbivores keep their young away from the t rex

Because he was a predator

How do you call a thin T-Rex?

Ano-Rex...

What did the T-Rex with herpes get?

Dinosores

A supervillain and his henchman

Were sitting in the control room in their secret base, inside an active volcano.
Suddenly, an alarm starts blaring in the control panel.
Supervillain: "What is going on? Are the sharks with lasers escaping? Is the T-rex eating the robot dogs again?"
The henchman look behind them to see la...

Why do T-Rex’s only sell handguns?

Because they’re small arms dealers

Three T-Rexes are walking when one of them brushes against a shiny stone.

A genie appears and grants them one wish each.

The first says
"Make a huge hunk of meat fall from the sky in front of me."
The genie clicks his finger and it happens. The first T-Rex begins eating happily.

Thinking of the possibilities the second T-Rex yells
"Make a shower ...

You either die a T. Rex

Or live long enough to become a chicken

What did the T-Rex say after it fell?

Dino sore.

T-Rex ran into a girl at a vegan restaurant who said she knew him...

But T-Rex never met herbivore.

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Why can't T-Rex ejaculate?

unreachable assets

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what did the tyrannosaurus rex say to the triceratops while they were having an argument?

you're gonna get jur ass kicked

Why did the T-Rex go extinct?

He couldn't embrace change.

Most people think that t-rexes can’t clap because they have short arms

Actually it’s because they are dead

Why did the T-Rex attack the LGBTQ parade?

It wanted to Taste the Rainbow.

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They call me Oedipus Rex...

Caus I'm a motherfucking dinosaur.

Why was the T-Rex angry?

Because he was happy and he knew it...

Why don't T-rex go to war?

Because they're short on arms.

Toronto missed out on an opportunity to call their basketball team the torontosaurus rexes

Boo me, I deserve it

Why can’t T. rex touch their toes

They are all dead

Why was the T-Rex Cafe always hiring?

No matter what, they always seemed a bit "short handed".

A Tour Guide at a dinosaur museum is guiding around a group of people. Looking at a T-Rex he says

"This fossil is 23,000,011 years old." One of the members of the group asks out of curiosity, "Wow, how'd they find out such a specific number?" the guide replied "Well, it was 23,000,000 when I started 11 years ago."

*Source: Reader's Digest*

Why did the T-Rex family business fail?

They couldn't keep up with the orders... They were always short handed!!

A joke my chem teacher told my class which his 6 year old son came up with

What do only T-Rexes have?
.
.
.
.
.
.
T-Rex babies

Joke from my 10 year old niece. What do you call a sleeping T-Rex

A dinosnore

Why did the T-Rex run away from the bathroom?

Because extinct

Why couldn’t T-Rex get to second base?

Baseball wasn’t invented back then.

What's T-rex's favorite file extension?

.rar

What's a flower plus a t-Rex?

A squished flower!

(An original from my 5 year old)

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Why did the T-rex get fired?

Sexual Jurassment

Why does T-Rex get to play only when his teammate is in penalty box?

He only scores short-handed goals

Why do we write T-Rex instead of Tyrannosaurus?

Because its a shorthand

The T-Rex waiters and waitresses at the restaurant seemed really stressed out

I guess they must have been short-handed

Why was the T-Rex forced to close shop?

It was seriously short handed.

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I wanted to borrow a copy of Oedipus Rex, but the library told me the city had banned it.

"Banned it?" I asked.

The librarian nodded. "Yes, for inappropriate content."

I blurted out "Motherfucker!".

She calmly replied "That's exactly why.".

What is a dinosaur's favorite beverage?

Tea Rex

Names T Rex and I can meet your needs for handheld weaponry​...

I'm kind of a big deal in the small arms trade

Be careful, they call me T-Rex!

I'm unarmed and dangerous.

I think one of my friends is a T-Rex

Because whenever it's time for him to pay for drinks he can never quite reach his wallet.

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I hated studying Oedipus Rex in high school.

That play was a real mother fucker.

Why did T-rex have to register with police?

He was a small arms dealer.

I'm very sorry, I'll show myself out.

"Hey, is that a rare T-Rex fossil leg?"

"Nope, fossil arm."

What do you call a T-Rex with a bomb strapped to it's chest?

Dinomite

How did the T-Rex feel after working out? [OC]

Dino-sore

Why can't t-rexs do push ups?

Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.

Today the authorities busted the local T-Rex shop, causing a huge uproar amongst the dinosaur community

Apparently he was a small-arms dealer

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