Why can't t-rexes clap their hands?

Because they're all dead.

I buy my guns from a guy named T-Rex

He is a small arms dealer.

Why can’t T-Rex’s clap their hands?

Because they’re extinct.

I once met a T-rex who was working at a casino.

He said he was hiding out from the cops.

I think he was a small arms dealer.

What do you call a T rex that sells pistols for a living

A small arms dealer

I was driving my son to pre-school and he was having fun making dinosaur sounds.

"ROAR!" he yelled.

"What dinosaur is that?" I asked.

"T Rex!"

Then he said, "HONK!"

"What dinosaur is that?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Triceratops," he said.

"Why does a Triceratops honk?"

And he said, "Because it has horns!"

What do you call a sleeping Tyrannosaurus Rex?

A DynaSnore!

A popsicle stick joke that cracked me up today.

What do you call a T-Rex that works as a croupier at a casino and sells handguns on the side?

Small arms dealer.

What do a T-Rex, a thot, and my pizza have in common?

They’re all meat lovers

What do you call a bri'ish Dinosaur

A tea-rex

What do you call a shipment full of military issued t-rexes?

small arms

Why didn't the T-Rex workout today?

He was dinosaur

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are T-Rex always angry?

Because it’s really hard for them to masturbate.

A T-Rex and a Velociraptor are sitting in a bar

And the velociraptor points to a triceratops in the corner and says
“Why is he first to get served?”
And the T-Rex says
“Because he was herbivorous”

My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion.

**The doctor asked him a series of questions: “Do you know where you are?” “I’m at Rex Hospital.” “What city are you in?” “Raleigh.” “Do you know who I am?” “Dr. Hamilton.” My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, “I hope he doesn’t ask me any more questions.” “Why?” she asked. “Because all...

What did the Tyrannosaurus Rex feel when it saw the Ankylosaurus approaching?

Ankxiety

What do you get if you cross a dog and a T-rex?

A very frightened mailman.

Why do T-Rex’s only sell handguns?

Because they’re small arms dealers

Why did the herbivores keep their young away from the t rex

Because he was a predator

What did the T-Rex with herpes get?

Dinosores

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what did the tyrannosaurus rex say to the triceratops while they were having an argument?

you're gonna get jur ass kicked

Did you know that T-Rexs can't clap their hands?

That's because of their short arms and the fact that they're all dead.

Some think T. rex’s never clap because their arms are so short.

I think it’s because they’re extinct.

What should you use to battle a t-rex?

A Dino-sword

A joke my chem teacher told my class which his 6 year old son came up with

What do only T-Rexes have?
.
.
.
.
.
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T-Rex babies

What do you call a dinosaur with a strap on?

Pegosaurus Rex

"HEY, is that a rare T-Rex fossil leg?

"Nope, fossil arm"

Pronounced false alarm. Nobody got it last time and I think it's good.

How do you call a thin T-Rex?

Ano-Rex...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't T-Rex ejaculate?

unreachable assets

You either die a T. Rex

Or live long enough to become a chicken

Most people think that t-rexes can’t clap because they have short arms

Actually it’s because they are dead

What did the T-Rex say after it fell?

Dino sore.

What is a dinosaur's favorite beverage?

Tea Rex

Why did the T-Rex go extinct?

He couldn't embrace change.

T-Rex ran into a girl at a vegan restaurant who said she knew him...

But T-Rex never met herbivore.

Three T-Rexes are walking when one of them brushes against a shiny stone.

A genie appears and grants them one wish each.

The first says
"Make a huge hunk of meat fall from the sky in front of me."
The genie clicks his finger and it happens. The first T-Rex begins eating happily.

Thinking of the possibilities the second T-Rex yells
"Make a shower ...

Why did the T-Rex attack the LGBTQ parade?

It wanted to Taste the Rainbow.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They call me Oedipus Rex...

Caus I'm a motherfucking dinosaur.

What's T-rex's favorite file extension?

.rar

Why was the T-Rex forced to close shop?

It was seriously short handed.

A Tour Guide at a dinosaur museum is guiding around a group of people. Looking at a T-Rex he says

"This fossil is 23,000,011 years old." One of the members of the group asks out of curiosity, "Wow, how'd they find out such a specific number?" the guide replied "Well, it was 23,000,000 when I started 11 years ago."

*Source: Reader's Digest*

Why did the T-Rex run away from the bathroom?

Because extinct

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the T-rex get fired?

Sexual Jurassment

Why couldn’t T-Rex get to second base?

Baseball wasn’t invented back then.

The T-Rex waiters and waitresses at the restaurant seemed really stressed out

I guess they must have been short-handed

Toronto missed out on an opportunity to call their basketball team the torontosaurus rexes

Boo me, I deserve it

Why can’t T. rex touch their toes

They are all dead

Why was the T-Rex Cafe always hiring?

No matter what, they always seemed a bit "short handed".

Why did the T-Rex family business fail?

They couldn't keep up with the orders... They were always short handed!!

Joke from my 10 year old niece. What do you call a sleeping T-Rex

A dinosnore

Why does T-Rex get to play only when his teammate is in penalty box?

He only scores short-handed goals

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wanted to borrow a copy of Oedipus Rex, but the library told me the city had banned it.

"Banned it?" I asked.

The librarian nodded. "Yes, for inappropriate content."

I blurted out "Motherfucker!".

She calmly replied "That's exactly why.".

What's a flower plus a t-Rex?

A squished flower!

(An original from my 5 year old)

Vegans

A t-Rex met a vegan one day who claimed that she knew the Rex, but he never met herbivore.



Alright I know it’s bad, but I don’t carrot at all. I’ve bean at worse places before.


Btw I would like to state that I believe people can choose to eat whatever they want, and being a...

I think one of my friends is a T-Rex

Because whenever it's time for him to pay for drinks he can never quite reach his wallet.

Why do we write T-Rex instead of Tyrannosaurus?

Because its a shorthand

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hated studying Oedipus Rex in high school.

That play was a real mother fucker.

Why did T-rex have to register with police?

He was a small arms dealer.

I'm very sorry, I'll show myself out.

Why do the T-Rex often have trouble high-fiving?

Because they're dead.

"Hey, is that a rare T-Rex fossil leg?"

"Nope, fossil arm."

Today the authorities busted the local T-Rex shop, causing a huge uproar amongst the dinosaur community

Apparently he was a small-arms dealer

Names T Rex and I can meet your needs for handheld weaponry​...

I'm kind of a big deal in the small arms trade

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People are talking about this guy, Oedipus Rex...

Word is, he's a real motherfucker.

Why can't t-rexs do push ups?

Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.

A young man goes off to college

A young man goes off to college, but about one-third of the way through the semester, he's foolishly squandered the money his parents had given him.

"Hmmmm," he wonders. "How am I going to go about getting more dough?" Then he gets and idea and phones his father.

"Dad, you won't be...

What do you call a T-Rex with a bomb strapped to it's chest?

Dinomite

A little girl walks into a pet store and tells an employee that she’d like to buy a rabbit.

The employee smiles down at the little girl and says, “Right this way! We have lots of different rabbits to choose from depending on what you’re looking for.” She leads the little girl over to a large enclosure where a huge collection of bunnies of all different sizes and colors are hopping about or...

What do you call a T-Rex that waits tables

A DINERsaur.

Suck it, dad.

How did the T-Rex feel after working out? [OC]

Dino-sore

What do you call a T-rex with a sore ass?

tyrannosoreass

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