Two Beggars in London. (NSFW)

Two beggars in London

Ali and Habib are beggars.
They beg in different areas of London ...

Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but only collects £2 to £3 every day.

Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot ...

Muhammad Ali & Joe Frazier go to a Dry Cleaner.

Owner says, "Can I help you?"

They say, "How much to wash an old pair of boxers?"

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Muhammad Ali once tried to tell a joke.

But he punched up the fuck line.

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A man with a tendency to over-explain things lays on his therapist's couch.

The therapist says “I have a new exercise for you today. Instead of spending an hour talking about your day, try to tell me the essentials of what happened in one breath.”
The patient agrees and takes a deep breath

“So they cast Callie Hernandez as Supergirl and I’m not sure if it was th...

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When the Alies invaded Normandy,

Hitler did Nazi that coming.

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A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too.

The giant nodded. "If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all
Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist-probably better than Houdini."
I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can brea...

Today I posted a video of Muhammad Ali's "Rumble in the Jungle" fight in reverse.

It's the first in a series of unboxing videos.

For sale. Muhammed Ali DVD set. George Foreman Grill.

Both boxed.

What prevents Ali A from singing?

Anti Aliasing.

Muhammad Ali has two boys.

Both of them head strong and talented like their father, vigorously passionate about their sport. But neither of them took a liking to boxing. They actually had an uncanny knack for driving, or rather, the opposite of driving. They could put a car into perfect position flawlessly every time, even in...

Without the Joker, there's no Batman. Without Frazier, there's no Ali.

Without Russian sports, there's no Anti-Doping Agency

Everyone thinks Muhammad Ali was the best boxer in history, but Jim Jones had a way higher number of KO's...

900 with just one punch.

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If Mohammed Ali could float like a butterfly and sting like a bee

He would be dead after one punch.

Nasa just named a nebula after Muhammad Ali...

...Gaseous Clay

Did you hear Muhammad Ali burnt his hand in a few fights?

That's what happens when you punch George Foreman in the grill.

[credit to Mohammed Ali - r.i.p] Mohammed Ali walked on an Elevator...

He sees a guy and a pregnant woman in the elevator.

Ali looks at the guy and says "I swear I never saw her before in my life".


note: this really happened. Older family members who bumped into him in the late 70's to early 80's said he was really funny in real life.

[OC] What was Muhammad Ali’s flatulent brother’s name?

Gaseous Clay

What did Muhammad Ali name his son?

Alli'son.

An Aligator and a Monkey meet by the river. The monkey is smoking something.

Aligator: Hey, what have you got there?

Monkey: I've got some of that good stuff man, it's that OG kush everyone's been talking about, you'll take one puff and you're gone! I'm telling you!

Aligator: Nah, mate,that's bull, lemme try some tho.

Aligator pulls once, nothing. Twice....

I've always wanted to shake Muhammad Ali's hand

Unfortunately, Parkinson's beat me to it.

I was at a urinal when I realized standing to my left was Muhammad Ali and to my right was Michael J. Fox...

bad day to wear sandals.

What did Mohammed Ali do after converting to Islam?

He-jab

Who would win in a fight between Muhammad Ali and Stephen Hawking?

Parkinson's

I made a ceramic sculpture of Mohammed Ali but it exploded in the kiln.

It was gaseous clay

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Muhammad Ali in 1974: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

Floyd Mayweather in 2015: Run like a chicken, hug like a bear

The worst thing about Muhammad Ali sending a "Tweet" to Mayweather . . .

Ali couldn't type it and Mayweather couldn't read it.

What do women and boxers have in common?

They're both clingy when wet!

The people of Iranian city of Isfahan were famous for their jokes and puzzles.

An Iranian townsman planned to visit Isfahan so he asked his friends what they would like him to bring them from the glorious metropolis.

They said, "Don't bring us anything but something witty said by a person from Isfahan."

The guy promised he would remember their request. So, he wen...

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Registration on the first day back at school in London, England....

Ahmed Al Sheriah ………………………………"here"

Mustafa Al Sheriah …………………………….."here"

Fatima El Bindiri ……………………………….."here"

Ali Acmah Shabeeb ……………………………"here"

Ali Sun Al En ……………………..No answer

Ali Sun Al En?

Little girl...

The Jewish Boy and the Muslim Boy

David, a Jewish boy, and Ali, a Muslim boy, are having a conversation.

Ali: I'm getting operated on tomorrow.

David: Oh? What are they going to do?

Ali: Circumcise me!

David: I had that done when I was just a few days old.

Ali: Did it hurt?

David: I co...

So Muhammad Ali is dead...

Is it too soon for a punchline?

Letter to God

Dear God,

Last week, you took my favorite boxer; Muhammed Ali.
Today, you took my favorite hockey player; Gordie Howe.
I just want to let you know that my favorite candidate is Donald Trump.

Dentist: open up

Me: well it all started when my dad left

Dentist: no I meant..

Dentist assistant: Wait Ali let him finish

Three boys are fighting at the zoo

The zookeeper separates them and says: "Alright, I want each of you to tell me his name and what he's doing here."

The first boy says: "My name is Mitch and I was trying to feed peanuts to the gorillas."

The second boy says: "My name is Ali and I was trying to feed peanuts to the goril...

What do you call an African that plays Fortnite?

SomAli-A

What do you call a lizard that hates fortnite youtubers?

An Ali-hater.

Why can’t Sacha Baron Cohen eat nuts?

Because of his Ali G

A plane's pilot is dead and the plane is going to crash.

There are 5 passengers and 4 parachutes. The first passenger is Barack Obama, who takes a parachute on the grounds of being "the president of America". The second passenger, Mohammed Ali, takes a parachute on the grounds of being "a famous boxer". The third passenger, Donald Trump, takes a parachute...

What do you call a Muslim standing between two buildings?

Ali

If the Alibaba IPO crashes...

Dibs on the term "Ali-bubble"

For all you boxing fans out there

Eighty year old woman, huge boxing fan, decides to get a couple of tattoos of her favourite pugilists done.
One of Mohamed Ali on the inside of her upper right thigh, one of Mike Tyson on the inside of her upper left thigh.
Pleased as punch, she goes home to her husband, lifts up her dress, s...

Whats Brown and Sticky?

Mohammed Ali opening a can of coke.

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Now that we're telling Iranian jokes

Two men are walking by the side of the road (lets call them Ali and Askhar).
Askhar says, "Did you see that?"
"What?" says Askhar.
"That huge dog."
"Where?!"
"It's gone, but did you see THAT?!"
"What?"
"That HOT BABE!"
"WHERE?!"
"It's gone, but did you se...

Registration on the first day back at school in Birmingham, ENGLAND.

*Registration on the first day back at school in Birmingham, ENGLAND.
The teacher began calling out the names of the pupils:*

"Mustafa Al Eih Zeri?" "Here"

"Achmed El Kabul?" "Here"

"Fatima Al Hayek? " "Here"

"Ali Abdul Olmi?" "Here"

"Mohammed Bin Kadir?" "Here"...

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