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Hungrily Jokes

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Last Call

A young player was in a club desperately looking for some action. When they announced last call he picked an older woman because he thought it would be easy. After a dance with her the arrogant man whispered in her ear, “take me home with you and I’ll do whatever you want for free.” She takes him up...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A caterpillar is looking at a flower bud [NSFW]

On the lowest branch of a tree, there is a caterpillar looking at a bud. Hungrily, it says: "I'll be damned if don't eat this bud. But I'll wait until it has bloomed so that I can go and fill my belly !!" and then it waits patiently for the bud to bloom.
Higher on that tree, a sparrow is looking...

2 nuns are driving down a dark road..

.. when suddenly a vampire jumps out in front of the car, and forces them to stop.

He climbs onto the car and starts looking hungrily at them.

"What should we do?" - asks one nun
"Show him your cross!" - replies the other.
so the nun shouts : "Get off my f**king car!!"

A traveller reaches a church

It's late at night and he almost collapses at the door. Exhausted, he knocks on the door and is let in by Sister Francine. The Sister calls the others to help and they bring the guy in. He has a heavy trunk that they keep to a side. The night passes and the traveller wakes up in the morning. He is t...

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A farmer in France sees a foreigner bending down next to the river.

The foreigner leans over and voraciously scoops up water from the river to drink using his right hand. He gulps down the water hungrily, much to the farmer's shock.

The farmer runs over to the foreigner and tries to warns him in French: "Monsieur, ce n'est pas sain! Mes animaux pisse et merde...

Idk, a long old joke

A very elderly couple is seated at a table in a bar. The woman looks over to the man, holding his hand and says, "Do you remember meeting me for the first time right here 50 years ago?"
The husband replies, "Yes dear."
The wife says, "Do you remember what we did afterwards?"
The husb...

The Spaghetti Joke. Two men had a plane crash in the desert and survived.

They had water, but no food. After a couple of days wandering in the desert they saw the remaining of another plane that was crashed a few days ago with a dead pilot. So one man says to the other "Let's open the dead pilot's stomach, perhaps what he ate is still there." The other agrees, they open t...

So a man gets off work and is headed to his favorite diner for his favorite meal.

So one Friday, this guy gets off work and hes is really craving his usual Friday meal, some vegetable soup from his favorite diner. He arrives, sits down at his table and asks the waiter for the usual.

"One bowl of vegetable soup, please!" The waiter responds "I'm so sorry sir, but the gentle...

A huge muscular man...

walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can't help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, "You know, your physique is really phenomenal, but why is your head so small?"
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Lion Tamers

A ringmaster needed to hire a new lion tamer for his circus after the previous one was killed, so he put an add in the paper.

Two lion tamers arrive for the interview, a man and a woman. The ringmaster tells them, "This lion is very dangerous. He has killed my last three lion tamers so I nee...

A man has a job interview at the zoo...

A man has a job interview at the zoo. The man conducting the interview looks over his resume and finds it impressive.
"You're just the sort of person we've been looking for and we would like to offer you the position," says the interviewer. "But the position itself is a bit...unorthodox."
"W...

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