UPJOKE
snoutschnozzlehonkernosescreech owlbeaknozzlehornsnootsirenowlhootersschnoznostrilbottlenose

Hooters

Two men grow up together as friends. After college, one moves to Ohio, and the other moves to Colorado. They agree to meet every 10 years in Florida to play some golf and catch up with each other.


At age 35 they meet, finish their round of golf, and head for lunch.


One asks, "...

A Nun walks into Hooters

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If girls with big boobs work at Hooters where do girls with only one leg work at?

IHOP!

What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters?

They just give you a bra and say "Here, fill this out."

If Hooters started delivering

Would they change their name to knockers?

Hooters

Hooters should start a home delivery service....they could call it KNOCKERS !

Hooters is trying to stay afloat during this pandemic so they are starting door to door service thus a name change is in order.

They will now be known as Knockers

What’s the difference between a Christmas Dinner and a Hooters Waitress?

One is all pork and turkey.


The other is all talk and perky.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about Hooters new delivery service?

Boober Eats

I take my wife goes to Hooters.

I found out my wife had never been to Hooters before so I thought I would take her there and let her see that it wasn’t all that it was made up to be. So one early afternoon we headed over to the Hooters restaurant to get a few wings. It was crowded like it always is and we were ushered to a table i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hooters

A former group of softball players, all in their 40's, discussed having a reunion over lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the waitresses were young, good looking, had big breasts and wore short-shorts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the softball buddies once ag...

With lots of restaurants closed, Hooters still remains open for delivery orders...

They just go by Knockers now.

I went to go apply for a job at Hooters today

They just handed me a bra and said “Here fill this out”

The Nun and The Hooters

A Nun was lost one day and had to use the restroom

The Only place she could find was a hooters, and the place was rowdy but the second she walked in everyone got quiet.

Suddenly the lights go off and everyone cheers ,they come back on and everyone goes back to they were .

The Nu...

My local Hooters closed the other day.

I guess you could say the restaurant was a bust.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife are eating at Hooters for their 20th anniversary.

A busty gorgeous blond waitress comes up and asks them what they'd like to drink.
"Oh my god you are gorgeous." Said the husband with the intent of pissing his wife off.
His wife just shook her head and smiled.
"Why don't you introduce your wife to her you pig, or better yet, introduce her...

Hooters waitress

During a long day of looking around a car show me and a couple of my friends stopped in at "Hooter's" for some Hot Wings and a few beers... After being there for a while, one of my friends asked me which waitress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with. I told them "The one who knows how to fix...

My Hooters waitress was pregnant so I called the manager and said

"Can we get another waitress please? This one has an heir in it."

What do you call game night at Hooters?

Double D&D

I once tried to pay for my food at Hooters with an energy drink...

Apparently Red Bull doesn’t give you wings.

What is the difference between a website and a Hooters restaurant?

At the Hooters, it'd be nice if the servers went down on you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If waitresses with big boobs work at Hooters, then where do 1 legged waitresses work?

IHOP



Gives tipping your waitress new meaning

My parents divorced when I was 9, and every other weekend my Dad would pick me up and take me to Hooters....practically raised me there.

...so many good mammaries.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are three religious truths:

Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.

Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.

Christmas Shopping

Bob and Sue were in a local shopping center just before Christmas.

Sue suddenly noticed that Bob was missing, and as they had a lot to do, she called him on his cell phone. Sue asked, "Bob, where are you? You know we have lots to do."

Bob said, "Do you remember the jewelry store w...

What's the difference between a cold nose and that weird white kid in your class?

One's a cool hooter, the other is a school shooter

Why are owls my favorite animal?

Because they’re hooters!

A man was browsing Craigslist one day...

...when he comes across this insane deal. A good-as-new Porsche, for 20 bucks. "It's a prank," he thinks. "Like that Hooters girl and the Toyota/'toy Yoda' thing." Still, he's not really in need of $20, so he decides to be a good sport and humor the seller.

He drives out to the address in the...

What is "Rock Bottom" for you?

I came to the realization that I've hit Rock Bottom today, when I found I had gone to Hooters specifically for the food.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I feel for Hillary Clinton

The FBI found a server in my basement too. She was from Hooters I think.

What's a newborn baby' favorite restaurant?

Hooters

An archaeologist was in Jerusalem when he discovered a slab of rock with five figures on it: the Star of David, an ox, a shovel, an owl, and a woman.

"This is really fascinating," said the archaeologist. "This tells me a lot about ancient Hebrew culture. The Star of David tells me, of course, that they were a very religious people. The ox tells me that they used domesticated animals, such as oxen, to plow the fields. The shovel tells me that they...

I haven’t had a server go down on me that long

since New Year at Hooters.
Edit for explanation: https://techcrunch.com/2016/08/11/reddit-is-currently-experiencing-a-major-outage/

Killing two birds with one stone this weekend

Taking my mother to Hooters sounds rock solid.

So there was an abandoned church...

and few nuns get sent over to clean it up a bit and restore its former glory. As they were painting the ceiling, one of them says, "Sisters, it is VERY hot in here, and we're working so feverishly, and i really don't want to get any paint on our robes. What say you, we just strip down, and finish th...

The South Declares War

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Archie, down here at Joe's Catfish Shack, in Mobile , and I am callin' to tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"


"Well Ar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes (5/21)

Here we are, once again. It's time for some laugh-words.

First up, we've got some big movie news. "Transformers 4" is now updating its cast. To appeal more to the US box office, the evil Decepticons will be played by menacing vending machines that won't let go of your Doritos.

More mov...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.